The Solomons are struggling to take in the news - they have been ordered back home due to Dick's transgression with Liam. Dick's first instinct is to ask Mary to come, so he takes her to the planetarium before breaking the news to her that they are leaving, and asking her if she will join them. Meanwhile, since admitting his fear to Sally, Don has decided to quit the police force and open a muffin store, but Sally is disgusted by this career choice and decides to whip Don into shape - and turn him into a hardy police officer. At home, Harry and Tommy are attempting to organize a farewell party for the aliens, but have no money, so they decide to max out their credit cards and not worry about paying the bill, since they'll be halfway across the galaxy - they even hire Elvis Costello to sing Fly Me to the Moon.
Mary is having trouble dealing with what she has just seen - Dick transforming Liam into a monkey, which he had done to stop him doing the same to the Earth's population. Dick consults the other Solomons and they decide that the best approach is to deny everything. Meanwhile, Mary meets with Nina and Judith, who confess that they believe Dick to be an international terrorist, so when Dick and Mary next meet, she demands that he tell her the truth about himself. So, Dick tells Mary that he and the others are aliens. Mary's reaction is first disbelief, then shock, and then she finds it sexy to be dating a spaceman. Elsewhere, the local store has been robbed and Sally catches Don hiding in the frozen foods freezer, where he admits that he hid because he was scared. Harry takes a different line and asks the shopkeeper Sam out on a date, but later runs into her working at a posh restaurant, where she instructs him to call her Samantha. Confused, Harry believes that he is dating twins.
With the identity of Scoochie revealed to be Liam Neesam, who had visited Pendelton three years ago, Dick is panicked, and follows Liam and Mary to dinner, where he overhears Liam offering her a job with a six-figure salary. The other Solomons suggest that Dick reveal himself as another alien in order to gain Liam's respect. When he does, however, Liam reveals that he doesn't care for Mary, but that she is part of a huge plan to transform the Earth's entire population into monkeys, and rename it Planet Monkey World, so that it may be an exhibit for aliens. Meanwhile, Sally, Harry and Tommy discover that their favorite movie, Arthur 2: On the Rocks' has a 'prequel' - Arthur.
Dick discovers that Mary has been receiving elaborate love letters from a mystery man named 'Scoochie' and confronts her about it. She reveals that she has been receiving them for years but has no idea who Scoochie actually is, so Dick pretends that it has been him all along. This goes wrong, however, when the real Scoochie arranges to meet Mary at the Medieval Festival. Meanwhile, after another alien unit operating in Ohio wins an award over the Solomons at the Alien Award Show, Sally and Harry make it their mission to track them down, and eventually move in with an Amish family, who they believe to be the other unit, since they are so different.
Dick accompanies Mary and Nina to a book-signing for a self-help book entitled 'A Road Map to Happiness', and despite first thinking it stupid, Dick opens the book and is immediately converted. He then concludes that his relationship with Mary stands in the way of his happiness, and attempts to break up with her. At college, Tommy is attempting to get into a fraternity but is doubtful that he'll pass the entry rituals, so he enlists Sally's help, but she just ends up making it harder. Meanwhile, Mrs. Dubcek gives Harry the job of painting the kitchen ceiling, and he is determined to create a work of art.
After hearing a pitch for a timeshare, Dick is sold and, unable to afford it entirely, he convinces Don to pay the other half. When Dick, Mary, Sally and Don take their first holiday there, however, they find it to be dismal; small and windowless, with nothing in the surrounding area but a prison. Meanwhile, Tommy has finally outgrown Harry, leading Harry, paranoid that he is shrinking, to consult a doctor.
Mary's mother Martha arrives in town and Dick decides to tell her what Mary really thinks of her - that she ruined her childhood. Angry, Martha tries to attack Dick and falls over, ending up in hospital. When Dick goes to visit, however, Martha tells him her side of the story, and a deeply moved Dick takes her side and promises to tend to her during her recovery. Meanwhile, Harry and Sally get a nasty surprise when throwing junk in the time space portal - a new alien.
Nina accuses Dick of knowing nothing about Mary, so in an attempt to prove her wrong, when Judith walks into the office announcing that she has two tenth-row tickets to a Gordon Lightfoot concert, Dick claims to already have front row tickets. Of course, he doesn't, and so attempts to find a pair of front row tickets before it is too late. Meanwhile, Sally tells Chaz, the Channel 10 anchorman, that she would like to start presenting the news instead, and so he agrees to let her interview Lightfoot in the company's box at the Rutherdome; but really, he intends to seduce her.
Dick has bought a new camera, with which he makes Mary angry, by constantly taking her picture against her wishes. As a result, Mary decides that the two need some time apart. Meanwhile, Sally's coat is ruined when Harry wears it out in the rain, but he claims that the Channel 10 weatherman said it was going to be sunny. Sally marches down to the station and tries to convince them to pay for her coat, but it soon becomes apparent that Sally is excellent at predicting the weather, so they give her the position. Dick, however, is worried that Sally's spot on prediction of the weather will attract unwanted attention and so, when she discovers that Rutherford is to be hit by tornados, he orders her to report otherwise.
Dick and Mary visit a psychic together, who claims that the pair are from two different worlds and predicts that Dick will one day up and leave Mary. Horrified at this news, Dick decides to find a replacement boyfriend for her, settling on a man called Gary; who thinks he's actually being offered Dick's position of physics professor. Meanwhile, Sally and Harry decide that if the psychic really knows that they are aliens, then they must kill her, but in a way that isn't possible for her to predict.
After playing assistant to a magician at a child's birthday party, Dick decides to himself become a magician, with Sally as his assistant. They become a huge success, performing shows night after night at a local club, but show business soon starts to eat away at their offstage relationship until they hate each other. Meanwhile, Mary joins a defense class after being mugged in the park, while Harry joins the class as the man in the padded suit that everyone attacks.
When Dick accompanies Mary on an archeological dig, he is disappointed when the only thing he finds is a small pointed rock. Mary realizes, however, that it is an ancient spearhead and becomes upset, revealing that she has never found anything before. So, in order to make Mary happy, Dick steals a ceremonial wedding moon that was found the previous day and lays it for Mary to find. Meanwhile, the Rutherford Garlic Festival is on and Sally, Harry and Tommy decide to turn their attic apartment into a hotel, but things soon become hostile between them as they attempt to make their 'hotel' good enough to get a four star rating in the Crown Travel Guide.
After hearing the crowd sing The Star Spangled Banner at a baseball game, Dick realizes that humans are passionate about their country of origin and attempts to become more American, only to discover that he actually has a Canadian passport. Meanwhile, the other Solomons' work on the basis that all Americans are equal, and start an equality system in the house, putting Harry in charge, who makes everybody wear the same uniform and rations household items, until Tommy begins to fear that they are losing their individuality.
The Solomons' say goodbye to Tommy as he goes to college, but Dick soon begins to miss him and attempts to convince him to come home. Tommy, however, is enjoying college life and doesn't want to, so Dick convinces him to pull an elaborate freshman prank to gain himself popularity, but really in the hope that Tommy will be expelled. Meanwhile, Sally and Harry are interviewing candidates for Tommy's replacement and although their best candidate appears to be a woman called Christie, when a handsome man named Bryce walks through the door, Sally hires him on the spot.
Tommy is looking for a college to attend and Dick steers him away from the big names such as Harvard and tries to convince him to attend Pendelton instead. Upon taking one of Dick's classes, however, Tommy decides that Dick is a lousy teacher and that he would rather look elsewhere. Outraged, Dick orders Tommy to go to Pendelton. Meanwhile, Sally is concerned that Don isn't listed one of Rutherford's ten most powerful men and so she gets him a job working for one of them.
Dick takes Mary up to his penthouse and wines and dines her, but she tells him that she doesn't believe in true love anymore, no matter how hard he might try to persuade her otherwise. Meanwhile, Sally isn't happy being second fiddle to Don's wife so she asks him to break up with her. Don, however, wants to run for president and so refuses, so Sally breaks up with him; while at NBC, Tommy's huge ego and demand for a high pay on Saturday Night Live leads Harry to fire him.
The Solomons visit a parallel universe, in which they are living in New York City, where Dick is a highly regarded attorney, Sally writes a sex column and Harry is President of NBC, while Tommy is a star on Saturday Night Live. Despite this, Dick is unhappy because he cannot find Mary; however, upon entering a basement bar he discovers her, a failed actress-turned torch singer who has renamed herself Kiki Lyle. Meanwhile, Sally discovers that Don is the Mayor of New York, and that she isn't his girlfriend, but his mistress.
Dick and Mary decide to go on a double date with Sally and Don, but things start to become uncomfortable when Dick and Sally begin talking incessantly about how good their other half is in bed. The next day Dick and Sally come to realize that neither Mary or Don said anything about how good they are, and immediately worry that they aren't. Meanwhile, in a food store, Mary and Don run into each other and, consumed by what they'd heard about each other in bed, share a kiss. Elsewhere, Harry and Tommy follow in the footsteps of Jack Kerouac and take to the open road.
Tommy is still reeling from his breakup with Alissa, but Sally and Harry convince him that if he can find an excuse to go over to her house, he can persuade her to watch a movie with him. When the pair leave the house together, however, Strudwick is suspicious and confronts Dick. Mrs. Dubcek suggests that they could have eloped, so Dick and Strudwick rush off to track them down before there's a baby on the scene, managing to accidentally abandon Mary in the process. Meanwhile, Tommy has rented a scary movie to watch with Alissa, in the hope that it might bring her into his arms, but Sally and Harry decide to show up and make it more real.
Mary's wealthy sister Renata Albright has donated a large sum of money to have an extension built onto Pendelton University, but Mary knows that it is in fact a spiteful gesture designed to quite literally block the sunlight into her office. To retaliate, Dick schemes with Mary that he will woo Renata, win her, and then break her heart. Meanwhile, Sally and Harry are given ten thousand dollars by Renata to convert their house into a teen center.
The Big Giant Head has revealed to Dick that he is his father, and so would like to get to know his girlfriend Mary better; however, Mary gets drunk at the dinner party and reveals that she has slept with over forty men in her lifetime. The Big Giant Head orders Dick to break up with Mary so he decides to run away with her, before Tommy reminds him that Earth children defy their parents all the time. Meanwhile, Vicki invites Harry's new girlfriend Janice to Tommy's graduation, where she attempts to kill her from beneath the bleachers; however, Sally quickly realizes what's going on and rushes to intervene before it is too late. The time comes for Tommy's speech, but he puts aside talking about his achievements to try to convince Alissa to forgive him.
The Big Giant Head and his new wife Vicki Dubcek arrive back on Earth, where the Big Giant Head takes Dick to a jazz club and admits that his marriage is troubled, and that he would like to get to know him better. As his overlord becomes increasingly more clingy, Dick begins to wonder what the reason behind it is. Meanwhile, Sally gets the wrong idea when she hears Alissa giving Tommy advice about his Valedictorian speech, and saying that it is a time to move on, and so, thinking that Tommy is about to get dumped, she finds Alissa and breaks up with her on his behalf. Harry finally asks Janice out on a date and the pair get together after a meal at the gym; however, Vicki is jealous, her old love for Harry stirring admits her troubled marriage.
It's a nice day and Dick doesn't want to be stuck in the workplace, so he decides to do something that he thinks has never been done before - fake a sick day. Mary soon finds out what he's up to and decides to join him, and the pair run into Strudwick, who is doing the same thing. Meanwhile, Sally, Harry and Tommy find a police scanner that Don has left lying around and begin listening to a woman named Andrea's phone conversations. Things take an interesting twist, however, when Harry begins dating her.
Frank, a former student of Mary's, returns for a lecture series, making Dick jealous, and paranoid that he is after her. When confronting Frank, however, he hints that he is gay, but Dick misreads him and is convinced that he is hinting at being an alien. Therefore, Dick begins to regularly accompany Frank to Geoffrey's Lounge, which he thinks is an alien bar. Meanwhile, Sally, Harry and Tommy receive a visit from Don, who has just inadvertently foiled a bank robbery, and decide to use their superior knowledge to rob a bank themselves. As the episode progresses, each of the Solomons dons a costume of one of the Village People (Dick as the construction worker, Harry as the indian, etc). At the end of the episode on their porch roof get-together, they are joined by Don in his police uniform to complete the tableau, and the episode ends to a Village People song.
Dick and Harry fall into a large hole in the woods, which covers over when they attempt to climb out. Dick then panics, whilst Harry remains in a relaxed, zen-like state. A hole expert, named Angus 'The Hole' McDuff is called to the scene and devises a plan to build a second hole in order to access the one Dick and Harry are stuck in; however he becomes highly offended when Sally belittles his idea.
Dick and Mary are getting ready for the annual Rutherford Badger Day Dance Contest, but there's a small problem - Mary can't dance. Harry however has teamed up with Nina, but when Dick sees just how good a dancer she is, he orders Harry to let him dance with her instead. Meanwhile, Tommy and Don become exasperated when Alissa and Sally become friends and try on nearly everything in the clothes store. Jealousy arises, however, when Tommy discovers that Sally saw Alissa naked in the changing room, and then Sally discovers that Alissa accidentally walked in on Don changing in the Solomons' toilet. After Dick (and Nina) win the dance competition, the episode closes with a wordless pas de deux, complete with orchestral accompaniment of George Gershwin's "He Loves and She Loves", in a tribute to the final scene of the 1957 film Funny Face starring Fred Astaire and Audrey Hepburn. A portion of the film's choreography is re-created by Dick and Mary.
Pendelton University has a new chancellor, who causes anger when he cuts funding and takes away tenure, so Dick holds a meeting, in which he convinces the faculty to resign en masse. Unfortunately, the chancellor accepts the resignations and leaves everybody in the faculty, bar Dick - who withdrew his own, without a job. Upon finding out about his betrayal, the faculty protest outside Dick's classroom and Mary refuses to be seen with him. Meanwhile, Tommy begins working at a pretzel store with his girlfriend Alissa, but begins to dislike working with her and gives Sally and Harry free pretzels, with which they start their own business right in front of the store.
Dick tries to experience youth for the first time by partying with his students during spring break, but his drunken antics are wasted on Mary, who is trying to relive a favorite, and more relaxing, family outing. Meanwhile, Don and the police have moved into the Solomons' apartment in order to survey a video pirate living opposite. Sally is hugely turned on when she sees Don ordering his fellows about, but he is emasculated when tough government agent Jack McMannus arrives and takes over the operation, and Sally becomes attracted to him.
After hearing of how well his colleagues are doing in the stock market, Dick claims that he has earned enough money to share a holiday with Mary in Cancun. As a result, Dick is forced buy into the market in order to actually pay for the holiday, but he soon begins to lose money when the company he invests in is rumored on CNN to have overspent. Meanwhile, Sally cannot stand it when a tougher woman than her arrives in town, in the form of police officer Janice. Janice and Harry, however, take to each other.
Dick begins to have erotic fantasies about Nina, and makes the mistake of telling Mary about it, leading to an argument between the three of them. Dick is confused, and Don explains to him that his confession makes Mary feel as if she no longer excites him. Meanwhile, Sally falls under the spell of Margaret Williams, a lifestyle guru very similar to Martha Stewart, and an impressed Mary asks her to cater for a fund raiser she is holding. However, Sally becomes annoyed when the guests do not appreciate all the hard work she has put in.
Vicki Dubcek returns with her baby Eric Travis, telling of how she has cleaned up her act and become a proper mother. Unfortunately, however, the Big Giant Head decides to return to Earth and claim his son, but upon seeing Vicki with Eric, he falls in love with her and asks Dick to transform her hatred of him into love. Meanwhile, Harry admits that he is still in love with Vicki, but Dick tells him that he cannot have her because the Big Giant Head will punish him; whilst Tommy attempts to help Sally beat her addiction - shoes.
Valentines Day is approaching and Tommy hopes to get a hotel room and lose his virginity to Alissa, however, he is nervous when he discovers that she is sexually experienced and so loses his virginity to Mary's niece Tiffany first. Meanwhile, Dick discovers that Mary is seeing a therapist and, paranoid, he starts seeing her too, in order to find out what Mary has been saying about him. Paranoia fills Sally also, when Don gives her a gift which he teasingly says is from her 'secret admirer', and she mistakenly believes she has a stalker.
Mary is tired of spending all of her time with Dick's family and so suggests that the pair befriend another couple - her tennis partner Gwen and her husband Larry. Dick is apprehensive but quickly warms to the pair; however, they soon start brushing he and Mary off, so Dick finds them at the tennis club, where they tell him that it's because they find Mary to be tedious and self-absorbed. Meanwhile, Sally, Harry and Tommy are forced to use the laundromat when their washing machine breaks down, and immediately fall in love with the place, even setting up a laundromat court, in which Sally, imitating several of the phrases and mannerisms of Judge Judy, settles squabbles over people's washing.
Mary reveals to Dick that she has been observing his family for a number of years and that she would like to make a documentary about them, in order to show how the 'typical American family' has changed. Unfortunately, Mary's film soon begins to create tension among the family and accusations that Dick is an abusive father, Tommy is a bed-wetter and Sally is secretly a lesbian start flying around, so Harry decides to become an alcoholic so as not to be left out.
At a charity auction for the Rutherford Boys Home, Dick wants everybody to applaud him and so starts a bidding war with Studwick for a painting and ends up paying seventeen hundred dollars for it. Meanwhile, Don complains when Sally's snoring keeps him up all night, so she decides to try to stay awake all night so that he can sleep, but ends up keeping him awake anyway. Back at home, Harry and Tommy have been given the job of devising a new mission statement, and so try to work out what their purpose is on Earth.
Mary is horrified when she learns that Dick has been pocketing all the tip money she has left at restaurants, but Dick is baffled by the concept of tipping, and attempts to re-invent it by placing a stack of one dollar bills on the table and informing the waitress that when she pleases him, the pile will grow, and when not, it will shrink. Mary, however, informs him that this idea is demeaning. Meanwhile, Sally goes on the pill after Tommy informs her that she could become pregnant by having sex with Don, but begins to experience erratic mood swings and food cravings.
Dick is confused when Nina won't let him accompany her to her Black Student Union meeting, believing it to be a Weight Watchers type club; so, in an attempt to understand the concept, he mistakenly takes the Solomons to a racist white power rally. Dick realizes that the rally was a bad idea, and tries to make it up to Nina by firing her, to release her from what he calls her 'servile role' (as he and Mary's assistant), but she informs him that she is happy in her job. Meanwhile, Sally, Harry and Tommy are preparing to take part in a poetry competition and decide to use racism as their subject.
When Mary and Nina talk about how good looking Harrison Ford is, Dick decides that he himself is hideous and visits a plastic surgeon to discuss having his face surgically altered. However, when the surgeon tells Sally that she might benefit from having some plastic surgery herself, she becomes paranoid and believes herself not to be good enough for Don. Harry, meanwhile, is chuffed when the surgeon tells him that his face is perfect.
Mary invites the Solomons on a murder mystery weekend, thinking that it might prove a fun activity. However, she goes down with food poisoning and retreats upstairs to her room. Downstairs, meanwhile, the Solomons are horrified when the first murder takes place, believing it to be real and, annoyed at the apparent lackadaisical efforts of Scotland Yard detective "Inspector McAffrey", they decide to try to solve the mystery themselves.
Dick crashes the car into a tree and calls an insurance company to cover it, but the salesman informs him that in order to be covered, he needed to have taken out insurance before the crash. Instead, the salesman manages to convince Harry to buy insurance, but then ignores all of Harry's attempts to call him. Dick, meanwhile, is pleasantly surprised when he discovers just how much more advanced his rental car is than the old Rambler, and so sells the latter for scrap; however, the Solomons soon begin to miss it.
When a drunk Mary tells Dick she once had a fling with his archenemy Vincent Strudwick, he is outraged and decides to get even with the pair of them by convincing Strudwick's wife to sleep with him. Tommy supports Dick's decision, imagining double dates - himself with Alissa and Dick with Strudwick's wife. Meanwhile, Sally gets the hots for Don after he starts riding a police motorbike, but the pair crash and Don ends up in full body plaster.
The Solomons are relieved when Vicki's baby turns out to be human, but horrified when she announces her plans to sell her story to the papers. When a reporter comes sniffing around, Sally gives Dick the title of Security Officer and orders him to kill him; however he can't, so she makes him High Commander and herself Security Officer so that she can kill the reporter herself. Dick then reminds Sally that he is now the High Commander, and that there is nothing she can do to reverse it.
Dick is suffering the humiliation of having been demoted from High Commander to Harry's assistant, performing the most menial jobs, while Sally has been promoted to his old role. Tommy is preparing for his high school prom with Alissa, but when the Big Giant Head insists on coming, things start to slide, especially when Vicki, who missed out on her own high school prom, turns up. After ruining the prom for Tommy and Alissa, the Big Giant Head whisks Vicki off to his bachelor pod in space.
The Big Giant Head sends a message that he intends to visit Earth, so Dick quickly orders Sally to move back in and Harry to stop attempting to make a baby with Vicki. He then attempts to prepare Mary for his visit by telling her that an 'old college chum' is visiting and that she would be well advised to discuss how much he has learned in bed. Harry tries his best to avoid Vicki, but eventually resorts to telling her that he can't father a child with her right now. When the Big Giant Head arrives on Earth, he is unimpressed with Dick, his leadership skills and his choice of girlfriend, while being impressed with Sally, her style, and her body.
When Sally, Harry and Tommy are nearly crushed by a chandelier in a restaurant, they feel reborn, as if they are discovering everything for the first time. Dick is jealous, however, and while Sally and Harry volunteer themselves at a homeless shelter, he strives to have a near-death experience so that he might enjoy life like they do - and a faculty trip into the mountains presents itself as the perfect opportunity. Meanwhile, Tommy decides to waste no more time in his life - and asks Alissa to marry him.
Dick is jealous when fellow physics professor Vincent Strudwick publishes a critically acclaimed, bestselling book on physics, and, while Mary busies herself showing the visiting Nobel Prize winners around the campus, he decides to write a second book that will better Strudwick's. He then realizes, however, that he cannot publish all the secrets of the universe without raising unwanted questions, and so looks for another way to get at Strudwick, using Tommy and Alissa - who, it turns out, is Strudwick's daughter. Sally and Don decide to start hanging out as friends, but soon find themselves unable to resist each other.
It is the day before Dick's birthday and he has ordered Sally, Harry and Tommy to throw him a surprise party. When in class he meets a woman called Charlotte Everly who appears to be very taken by his 'brilliance'. Charlotte first claims to be auditing his class, then later claims to be a reporter, then an intellectual groupie. She and her son wangle her way into his birthday plans, cancel his party and lock the guests that do arrive in the basement. She then reveals to Dick that she knows that Dick is an alien - and she wants to cut him open. Kathy Bates' appearance in this episode spoofed her role in the film Misery, when Dick refers to her as his "number one fan".
Dick, Tommy, and Harry begin to notice that, since Sally moved out, their apartment has become filthy. Mary suggests that Dick hires her maid part time, but, to her annoyance, Dick ends up stealing her full time. When Sally finds out that she has been replaced, she is hurt. Tommy has managed to get himself in charge of the school newspaper, but he becomes so dedicated to printing the absolute truth that he begin to worry school officials and even alienate his girlfriend Alissa.
When at an Italian restaurant, Sally meets an Italian-American man and begins dating him. After learning that he is known as Sammy 'The Butcher' Marchetti, she and Tommy assume that he is some kind of mobster, and when he starts giving Tommy errands to run, Tommy is delighted to think that he is an errand boy for the mob. Sally, however, is less than happy. Mary suggests that she and Dick go on a couples retreat so that they can work on their communication skills. Despite her good intentions, everybody, including Harry and Vicki, embraces Dick's openness and criticizes her for pointing the finger.
Dick realizes that he doesn't know how to use a computer and strives to learn how to use one. When he does it takes over his life and he becomes a recluse. Sally and Tommy decide to do away with their old TV in favor of a newer, better one, but end up becoming addicted, wanting all the latest features. Harry and Vicki, however, are trying to get pregnant, but the medical-science part of it is turning Harry off.
Dick is up for a prestigious grant but his chances look somewhat marred when he and Mary receive chain letters, and Mary, upon throwing hers away, becomes victim to a series of misfortunes. Dick looks toward superstitious rituals and lucky charms for help. Don treats Tommy and Alissa to a series of ice hockey games for which he bought tickets for when he was dating Sally, but Tommy begins to worry that he isn't manly enough to compete with the likes of the players. Sally and Harry visit a hardware store, where Sally takes a liking to a series of workers, while Harry is mistaken for an employee, due to his bright orange shirt.
Dick begins to feel that the unit is falling apart when Sally announces her plans to move out, and he tries in vain to clip her wings. That isn't the last of his problems, however, since Harry is considering having a baby with Vicki - despite the possibility that it could turn out to be an alien. Meanwhile, Tommy sees babysitting with Alissa as an opportunity to prove to a dubious Harry that she really is his girlfriend.
When a meeting is rescheduled without her having been notified, Mary begins to have doubts about the longevity of her position as Dean, and Dick leads her to become paranoid that there is a conspiracy to have her removed from her job. The pair decide to investigate, and end up breaking into Judith's office by night for evidence, only to be caught by the police. Vicki Dubcek decides that the best thing Sally needs to help her get over her break up with Don is a weekend of riverboat gambling on the Cincinnati Queen, a floating casino - where Harry manages to win big, while Sally gets her lips on a Neil Diamond impersonator.
Dick is in a dispute with the Dubceks because Mrs. Dubcek won't fix his sink until he pays the rent, and he won't pay the rent until she fixes his sink. Eventually, Mrs. Dubcek ends up shutting off the Solomons' power, while Vicki invites Harry to move in with them. Sally has other things on her mind; after voicing to Officer Don that she is fed up with living with the other Solomons, he has proposed to her - but she doesn't know if she is ready. Meanwhile, Tommy deliberately lands himself in detention with his dream girl Alissa, so that he has a chance ask her out.
When Harry's boss Doug starts deducting income tax from Harry's paycheck, the Solomons realize that they have never filed a tax return and that they owe $9500 to the government. To combat this, they invent the 'brilliant' notion of lying on their tax return and Dick reworks the sums so that the government owes them several hundred thousand dollars. Sally attempts to help by setting up a failed home hairdressing business, but when women start arriving for haircuts, Harry and Tommy 'camp up' and take to the 'salon' to help. Lying doesn't work, however, and the Solomons are faced with an audit - and the threat of being exposed as aliens.
An invitation arrives in the mail from an 'Aunt Florence', inviting 'Richard Solomon' to attend a Solomon family reunion in Indiana. This is obviously a mistake, so Dick phones Florence to set the record straight. Upon discovering that Richard is so estranged that his family wouldn't recognize him anyway, he decides that the aliens could do with some roots and accepts the invitation. Upon arriving, however, it becomes clear that the only reason the real Richard is estranged is because of an old family fallout - and it hasn't burned out yet.
After three years, the Big Giant Head has finally accepted Sally's request to have her body changed for a man's. For their convenience, the bodies of Dick and Sally are switched. Now, in each other's bodies, Dick and Sally must try and maintain each other's romantic relationships and get accustomed to the changes that their new gender brings, while waiting for their request to be switched back to be accepted. Meanwhile, Harry is left in charge of Happy Doug's when Doug goes on vacation, but becomes worried when a group of burly, tough-looking bikers arrive.
As 1998 comes to close, Dick worries that he hasn't accomplished anything worthwhile and struggles to do something to make the past year count. Meanwhile, Officer Don becomes annoyed with Sally after she uses her feminine wiles to persuade him to get tickets for Rutherford's exclusive Starlight Room, then changes her mind when he succeeds. At Happy Doug's bar, Harry and Tommy plan an explosive New Year's party and Harry hires on his old night school friends, Larry and Mrs. Deguzman, but they turn out to be layabouts.
When Playpen magazine arrives at Pendleton, looking for students to pose nude, Sally decides to take part. While Dick encourages this, Don is furious. Dick is horrified when he discovers that Mary posed nude for an art shoot twenty years ago, and tracks down the photographer. Harry decides to test if clothes are "all a big scam" by becoming a nudist. Tommy has his eyes on his new lab partner, Alissa Strudwick.
Dick is all ready to dump Jennifer and try to win back Mary's heart, but then discovers that his relationship with Jennifer has made her jealous. Wanting the old Mary back, who had time for him over her job, he attempts to capitalize on her jealousy by making his romantic interludes with Jennifer very obvious. Officer Don introduces Sally to bowling, but becomes exasperated when she refuses to play by the rules, and so invites Harry and Tommy behind her back.
In order to be with Jennifer, Dick breaks up with Mary, who agrees, doubting that he'll find another woman and not knowing that he already has. After a few dates with Jennifer, Dick begins to find her annoying, especially her like of rhyming her words with his. Meanwhile, Sally, Harry and Tommy experiment at home, by first swapping the furniture from the kitchen with that of the lounge, and then moving all of it into one room.
Dick is annoyed that Mary, in her new position as Dean, has little time for him anymore, and is even more annoyed when he is told that he has to share is office with new professor Jennifer Ravelli. Despite his initial dislike, and attempts to stay loyal to Mary, he soon begins to fall for Ravelli. Sally tries to fix Nina up with Don's cop friend Eric, but becomes irritated when they don't take to each other. At Happy Doug's bar, Tommy fixes up an old 'love tester' machine but is disappointed when it classifies him as 'cold fish' and Harry 'hot stuff'.
The Solomons discover a brand of new collectibles called Fuzzy Buddies (a parody of Beanie Babies) when eating at a fast food diner, and Dick soon becomes so obsessed with collecting them that he begins to lose control of his family's finances. Tommy's coach is annoyed at his lack of team 'pep' and so makes him the school mascot - a giant owl called Hootie. Things goes wrong, however, when Tommy becomes so high on school pep that he attacks the coach.
Dick attends a function with Mary and finds that, because she is Dean, he is ignored by everybody except the wives of the other Deans. In order to prove his worth, he decides to hold a fashion show to raise enough money to have the dilapidated statue of Admiral Pendleton restored. Meanwhile, Sally is horrified when she learns that Don had dated other women before her, and strives to track them all down. Harry and Tommy try to raise their own funds by setting up a lemonade stand.
After Mary is made the new Dean of the School of Arts and Sciences, Dick uses her position to his advantage and ends up firing his arch nemesis, cafeteria worker Lucy, who then files a grievance. Sally prepares to lose her virginity to Don, but afterwards finds that she cannot talk to anyone about it, much to the other Solomons' annoyance.
Randy "sells" Harry to a circus, where he achieves popularity as the act "Hargo the Alien". In order to try to find him, Tommy and Vicki visit a psychic, but it turns out that she's actually seen the Hargo act herself and so knows where Harry is. Meanwhile, the loss of Harry means that the aliens' annual status report cannot be sent, so the Big Giant Head punishes Dick for not submitting it by slowly shutting down his brain.
Dick prepares to celebrate his second year anniversary of his first real date with Mary, and Vicki Dubcek returns to rekindle her romance with Harry. Sally, however, wants to lose her virginity to Don, but has trouble when Dick, angry that Mary didn't know what the celebration was about, locks himself in his bedroom, as her bedroom is on the other side of his. There are more sinister things afoot, however, when Randy, a disgruntled ex-lover of Vicki's turns up and kidnaps Harry.
Harry drives Nina to the dentist and behaves so sweetly toward her that he ends up stirring her emotions and sparking a romance. At work, Mary has been awarded a place in a promotional video for Pendleton and a jealous Dick takes desperate measures to ensure that he also is granted a place in it. Unfortunately, neither Dick or Mary share the director's vision and end up ruining the video. Meanwhile, Officer Don gives Sally a key to his apartment, hoping that the pair can spend more quality time together; however, he regrets it when she begins to treat the place a little too much as if it is her own.
Dick becomes concerned that the Solomons are spending little time together and orders the family on a camping holiday, forbidding them to bring anyone else. Unfortunately, and much to the other Solomons' annoyance, he invites Mary to join them and, as a result, everybody becomes angry with him. Outcast, he ventures into the woods and ends up becoming leader of a group of young Beaver Scouts, while the other Solomons and Mary attempt to find him.
Don is concerned because he and Sally have never kissed, so Sally turns to romance novels for inspiration, unwittingly building herself up to the moment so much that, when it finally happens, it doesn't satisfy her expectations. At work, Dick is worried because he is the only person in the university who gets charged for crackers in the cafeteria. Meanwhile, Harry finally finishes night school and reminisces about his time there with his friends Larry and Mrs. Deguzman.
An eccentric new professor has arrived at Pendleton University and Dick is quick to befriend him; he soon becomes annoyed when Dr. Neesam appears to be able to do everything better than he can, and becomes a rival for Mary's affections. Sally becomes concerned that Officer Don has lost interest in her after hearing a woman tell him he was "great last night", so Mrs. Dubcek convinces her to disguise herself and follow him around.
After Mary and August tell the Solomons that they can be a little weird sometimes, they strive to become a completely average family, going as far as to move to a new, average, apartment, make themselves over with new, average clothes and behave in the most average way they can. Unfortunately for Dick, Mary is soon turned off, missing his old weirdness.
Dick demands that Sally and Harry get jobs, so Harry gets work in a bar (Happy Doug's) and Sally as Mary's research assistant. However, upon finding out that Sally has chosen Mary's subject (anthropology), he worries that physics is too boring and strives to spice it up for Tommy's career day. After this goes badly wrong he decides that he wants to be a cop, like Don.
Mary's father arrives in town, announcing that he and his wife are separated, but unfortunately for Mary, he soon begins dating Sally. Meanwhile, Harry and Tommy stumble upon Pendleton's old radio station, where Harry takes the controls and begins a new-found career as a shock jock.
Dick decides to try to win back Mary's heart with a romantic champagne evening, and thinks it a lucky opportunity when the pair of them end up locked in the university library all weekend. Sally, Harry and Tommy, meanwhile, are determined to stop the pair getting back together and head to Mary's house to intervene, where they get distracted and end up running up her Pay-TV bill and hosting a Tupperware party that she'd planned.
Tommy is tired of being treated like a kid and decides to retire so that he can act the age he truly is (being the oldest of the group in alien form). At work, Mary reveals to Dick that she'd always dreamed of being a torch singer, so he decides to try to help her realize this. Meanwhile, Don unwittingly ends up stealing one of Sally's panties, and makes a series of attempts to return it without being caught.
Dick meets a woman in line at the cinema and ends up having casual sex with her in his car, however he soon runs into trouble when he brags about it and discovers that it was the mother of one of his students, Bug. Sally is shopping for her own car and becomes enthralled by a Dodge Viper; however, she cannot afford it and becomes increasingly exasperated with the salesman, who, she believes, is intent on spoiling her happiness.
Harry runs into trouble when his dog-like pet 'Pickles' from the Solomon's home planet somehow makes it to Rutherford - in human form. Meanwhile, Sally pretends to be pregnant to get in with a group of expecting women, but Officer Don finds out and panics.
In order to successfully infiltrate the ranks of the Venusians, Sally has offered herself up as a soldier and been taken to San Diego. Dick, Harry and Tommy eventually catch on and follow the women down there to try to rescue her and save the world from their master plan - to steal Earth's supply of 'good stuff'. Back in Rutherford, Don, Rico, Mrs. Dubcek and Judith settle down to watch the Super Bowl on TV.
When Rutherford becomes swamped with beautiful women who can't wait to date average joe's like Dick, Harry, Tommy and Officer Don, Sally begins to suspect that something's amiss and takes it upon herself to investigate. Meanwhile, one of Mary's old students has sent her tickets to Super Bowl XXXII in San Diego and she and Nina attend.
Dick finally announces that he is ready to start dating again but finds that the women of Rutherford don't want him. Meanwhile, Tommy and Harry find somebody's wallet and return it to him, but after Mrs. Dubcek asks them how much in reward they were given, they stalk the owner until he coughs up.
After falling down the stairs while wheeling around in a wheelchair, Dick ends up in one, and leads a campaign to have a second ramp added to his building at Pendleton. Harry is delighted when Vicki Dubcek returns, but less than happy when she announces her newly established celibacy. Tommy, however, is annoyed because he isn't old enough to get into a nightclub that Sally and the others are frequenting.
Dick takes care of a felon called Eddie because he feels he can make an honest man out of him, however things just end up going wrong. Dr. Albright is fed up with her dog Pepper and enlists Sally's help in finding a new home for him. Back at home, Harry struggles to complete a book report on Little Women for night school.
Tommy decides that he needs to find a woman who is closer to his real age, and pursues Mary, kicking up a fierce rivalry between himself and Dick. Elsewhere, Sally finally gets a proper job, but her boss begins to sexually harass her, while Harry is under orders not to watch any TV for a week, since Dick thinks he is watching too much of it.
Dick has two theater tickets for Peter Connolly's 'King of the Jig' left over from when he and Mary were dating, but upon realizing that he doesn't have any friends to accompany him, he forges a friendship with Don and becomes jealous when Don wants to spend time with his other friends. Meanwhile, Sally's 'artist' boyfriend Seth voices his dislike of Connolly and Sally decides to lure him to Johnny Foam's, while Tommy forces Harry to go to night school and earn a diploma, so that he can have the things his friends do.
Dick gets jury duty for the first time and struggles to deliver a guilty verdict for a clearly guilty man. Meanwhile, Sally, much to Officer Don's distress, falls for a cockney 'artist' called Seth, and makes herself over to look and sound just like him. Elsewhere, Harry and Tommy volunteer themselves for Mary's class project - they must communicate without words for five days.
When Dick discovers that he has put on a large amount of weight, Nina tells him that it is because he is sad about his breakup with Mary. Dick tries to slim by eating healthily and attending exercise classes, but nothing works and he ends up joining a weight loss group, where he runs into Mary. At home, Sally begins to grow attached to her new tomato plant and names it Jeremy, leading Don to fear the worst when he hears that Sally is spending lots of time with 'him'. Meanwhile, Tommy is worried that August is cheating on him, and sends Harry to investigate.
Dick goes for a medical checkup but becomes scared and leaves before his appointment. Mary asks Sally and Tommy to house sit for her on Halloween, to stop trick-or-treaters (Emile Hirsch) egging her home while she is out. Harry, however, chooses to stay at home, where he encounters some very strange noises and starts to believe that there is a ghost in the house.
Mary is unable to tell her bitter, condescending parents (Elaine Stritch and George Grizzard) that another relationship has fallen through, and so invites Dick to meet her parents under the pretense that they are still to be married. Dick is quick to accompany her, thinking that if he can win her parent's hearts he might win back Mary's. Back in Rutherford, Sally, Harry and Tommy help Nina to move out of her apartment, before Sally decides that she'd like to move in.
Still bitter after their break-up, Dick and Mary begin a childish prank war against each other to try to prove, ironically, who is the biggest adult in the office. Sally attends yoga classes with Mary, where she begins to take a liking to her instructor (Leigh McCloskey). At home, Tommy and his friends have formed a garage band and are practicing in the garage, while Harry wants desperately to be their roadie.
Dick comes up with a plan to get his new wife to leave him - by turning himself into the worst possible husband anyone could have. This doesn't work, and despite all his attempts to keep his wife secret, Mary soon finds out and breaks up with him, furious.
Harry, Sally and Tommy return to Earth, but are forced to bring along the Big Giant Head's niece, who is assigned to act as Dick's wife in order to keep his focus on the mission and off Mary. To make matters worse, the police suspect that aliens might have landed in Rutherford and have sent Officer Don to investigate.
Sally becomes a pseudo celebrity when she beats up Mark Hamill in a restaurant, and Dick becomes jealous while Tommy's school life is affected by Sally's newfound fame. As Sally's assistant, Harry becomes obsessed with keeping Sally on top.
A Frenchman asks an unwitting Sally to marry him so that he can remain in the country. Tommy discovers he has a talent for flower arranging and styling. Dick is inspired to discuss marriage with Albright.
While doing a favor for Dr. Albright, Dick sprains his ankle and discovers the power of guilt. Harry, desiring his own room, moves into a tree house. Tommy uses Sally to sell chocolate for a school fund-raiser.
A jealous Dick decides to show Mary how funny he is after she asks another professor to emcee a college fund-raiser she's organizing. Meanwhile, Harry loses his beloved coat, and Sally builds a shelf to hold her shoes.
Aghast at the treatment of aliens in a hit science fiction movie, the Solomons attend a science fiction convention to try to set the record straight -- and Sally's first experience of hotels get her hooked on room service.
When an obnoxious professor dies during a party in his honor, Dick finds the will specifies that he must deliver a “forthright and honest” eulogy about the universally despised academic. Tommy neglects his female pal August to hit it off with an “easy” cheerleader.