Anaconda

It’s a piece of crap, but it’s my piece of crap. I love this movie.

Why did I wait to see this until now? And why did Jon Voight not win another Oscar for this movie? “Anaconda” follows a group of highly intelligent and not at all oblivious documentary filmmakers as they search for a hidden tribe in the Amazon. Along the way, they find a not at all creepy snake hunter played by Jon Voight, whose tries to help them but completely by accident takes them into a forbidden area of the Amazon where resides giant, completely realistic-looking snakes that move at entirely believable and not at all unrealistic speeds. Trust me, you won’t believe how realistic the CGI is. You’d swear the snakes were right there with the actors. The characters are in no way infuriating. At no point do you ever root for the snakes to win and all the human characters to die in horrible ways. You feel genuinely upset when a character dies and don’t want to laugh or cheer at all. Trust me, you need to see this movie. It’s easily on par with such masterpieces as “The Room” or Kirk Cameron’s “Saving Christmas."