Even in the 1980’s, movies were getting sequels left and right. However, some of those movies have been long forgotten, and not without reason. I know about Cocoon: The Return mostly because way back when, I actually saw it…otherwise, I might have skimmed right past this one. The first thing you should know about this movie is that almost the entire cast returns for the sequel – which was pretty impressive to be fair. The second and perhaps most important thing you should know…this movie shouldn’t have ever been made.

Cocoon: The Return is pretty much as it sounds like – the return. The return of the aliens, the return of the elderly, of the retirement home, of the first movie…just without the good parts. The old folks return with the aliens in an attempt to once again retrieve the cocoons at the bottom of the ocean because if they don’t, those cocoons will disturb the planet. While there, they notice some scientists discovered a cocoon…so it also becomes a rescue mission.

A lot of the plot does actually make sense, they just don’t focus on it like they normally should. While the aliens are there, you might actually forget that they are around. There’s so much focus on the lives of these old folks that the main plot is secondary at best, and that’s truly unfortunate. I did say in my review of the first film that I loved these characters, that they work really well together, that they are a big part of why the first movie worked – the one thing I didn’t say was that they were the “only” thing that made the film work. So was I happy to see them play in these roles again? Yes! Was I happy to see that the movie was a glorified reunion special? No! I wanted to know what was up with the aliens, or heck, even the scientists…but their story was so nonexistent that I’m hesitant to even call this a Cocoon movie.

Let’s talk plot holes. In the first film, the aliens served two purposes, get the cocoons out of the oceans, and place them in a swimming pool. Look man, the cocoons basically die…or rot…if they aren’t kept in water. There was no swimming pool in this movie. The aliens are there for a week, and the cocoons are sitting on the boat the whole time…what? Even when it came to respecting the rules of the first film, it was sloppy.

Other than being an imbalanced, sloppily written sequel…you have to realize that it’s really rather pointless altogether. There were things left open at the end of the first film that I wanted closure from…I more or less received that, so I am thankful to a degree. I am happy they provided certain closure and I’m happy just to see these characters back again, but as far as positives go, that’s it. A couple of good things about a movie doesn’t protect it. Instead, I think the movie is worse off than if it never existed to begin with.

I’ll say it one last time. Cocoon: The Return is just a reunion film – and because the actors are so old, it couldn’t be a 10-year or 15-year reunion…it had to be just 3 years. So let us get them back on screen running before they no longer can.