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User Reviews for: Conan the Barbarian

Goldenarrow74
CONTAINS SPOILERS5/10  5 years ago
:asterisk_symbol::asterisk_symbol:Random Thoughts on A F’n Random Film:asterisk_symbol::asterisk_symbol:

It’s a shame this version has none of the charm or wit of the Arnie original.
I blame Khal Momoa - he hasn’t the charisma at this point in his career to be other than a one-dimensional muscle-freak.
And even Arnie managed to raise a laugh - Jason didn’t even punch a camel!

[spoiler]Spudgun from Bottom gets his nose chopped off by a child and then is torn limb from limb by an angry mob! [/spoiler]
(So pretty much what he was used to with Ritchie & Eddie then?)

Conan clotheslined a mounted man... with a battleship chain! :open_mouth:

I fully expected the coach to explode during the horsey chasing sequence. Very exciting - but quite ludicrous.

In an age before Oil of Ulay and Botox, the skin of the (many) stunning women looks incredible - must be those ancient heathen gods they worship and no artificial sweeteners.

Nathan Jones was a crap pro wrestler, a crapper MMA fighter, but at least an adequate monster-goon in fight scenes. Ditto Bob Sapp.

Queen Amidala really needs to lay off the hard drugs and emo music. But she is hot, in a worrying, Freddie-Krueger-style way... :rolling_eyes:
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