War of the kid's show mascots, as a shameless Barney stand-in steals the national adoration (and television slot) of a down-on-his-luck Captain Kangaroo stand-in. With an invested Ed Norton as the former and a cackling, chaotic Robin Williams as the latter, the right pieces might appear to be in-place for some fireworks, but the film never gets there.

Hopelessly predictable and cut-rate, it's a watery humorless mess. The cast seems to know they're in a stinker, too, with a steaming mound of half-assed performances and a full gallery of awful, borderline-offensive caricatures. Norton is really the only one who seems like he's into it, throwing his all into the part of a hopelessly naive nice guy who falls in bed with a den of vipers, though Williams admittedly doesn't get much substance to work with. Jon Stewart is particularly atrocious in his supporting role as a weak-willed executive with bad hair who constantly, pointlessly lingers around the fringe like a wet fart.

Riddled with holes and desperately short on laughs, Smoochy's questionable morals seem to hint that the key to success in show business involves choosing the nicer of two warring mob factions. Bizarre, boring fodder without a purpose, this one was a real chore to finish.