Without a doubt, the worst James Bond theme song ever - and it tees up quite possibly the worst James Bond film ever made too. The trail features that now iconic shot of Halle Berry coming out of the water and thereafter there is quite literally nothing at all memorable about this long and meandering espionage thriller. I did find Pierce Brosnan to be a more engaging "007" than Timothy Dalton, but here he struggles to make any headway with this particularly, and quite violently, ludicrous plot. It all starts off quite well, actually, with an exciting pre-titles scene that sees our hero stuck in a Korean prison, seemingly abandoned by all. It's only via a prisoner exchange that he finds his freedom and then by way of some diamond smugglers and a bit of sword play with the least intimidating baddie this franchise has ever produced - "Gustav Graves" (Toby Stephens), we build to a denouement set amidst an Arctic wilderness. The early films included the roles of "M", "Q" and "Moneypenny" as foils to the star and to his character. Here, we start to see these parts being embellished to fit the status of their actors. Judi Dench is adequate, but dear heaven - what is John Cleese doing here? Another divorce settlement to fund? Rosamund Pike rarely shines for me in a film and she doesn't generate an ounce of menace here - a task left solely to the broadly competent Rick Yune's all but indestructible "Zhao". Certainly, there are gadgets - including a nifty Aston Martin with an invisibility cloak. Had I had one at the cinema whilst this was showing, I may well have availed myself of it and skulked out. Time for a change methinks.