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User Comments for: Girl on the Third Floor

Mr. Sackamano says...
4 years ago
I wish the house woulda choked him out in 2 minutes like Mickey Gall did so I could turn this dumpster fire off
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birdcages says...
4 years ago
philip jack brooks was terrible but not as terrible if you consider that this isn't his day job, so good effort. overall pretty mediocre, but i watched through the whole thing anyway. anyone who stays in a house that is oozing strange liquids and goop is a braver person than me though.
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Xiofire says...
CONTAINS SPOILERS
5 years ago
Meh, I'm normally one for these "deeper meaning" horror movies, but this one just didn't resonate with me. Brooks was surprisingly decent, and the practical effects with the house were very well done, but everything else came off as campy and amateur. I believe I understood the underlying message of the movie [spoiler] (Koch being unwilling to settle and resolve his real problems, prefering to patch over them in hopes they'll go away, all the while his contemporary problems are mirrored in the history of the house and it's patriarchal ghosts?)[/spoiler] but I didn't feel it held much stock when presented. A shame, but cracking still shots and unsettling practical effects cannot save this one for me.
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pigfaced says...
4 years ago
I can't possibly, do a proper review for this pile of dried semen.

I'd need to mention all the bits that caused 'what' shout outs.
that would result in a novel.


So let's just say. Do not watch thing fucking mess.
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bigwillthechamp says...
4 years ago
One of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. Hilariously bad.
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csrz says...
5 years ago
Not bad, not as i expected but it's not bad. The story is interesting. Performances was okay, CM Punk kinda worked on his character.
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myndflyte says...
3 months ago
Well I'll never look at marbles the same way. It was a pretty middle of the road horror movie. Could have been better, but could have been a lot worse.
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SpuppolSenpai says...
a month ago
I should be legally enabled to kick whoever wrote and directed this
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Max.Renn says...
2 years ago
Good concept, mediocre development.
A lazy, unfaithful husband seeks redemption by building a house in an abandoned, haunted old brothel.
With these premises I was expecting a horror movie about a haunted house with a sexual/erotic touch but for 2/3 of the film there is no sexual tension or tension whatsoever. Just marbles rolling on the floor, broken pipes and sperm leaking from power outlets...
Luckily the last 30 minutes lift the film from very bad to mediocre, and the director manages to show that he has a little of Sam Raimi's talent (the film is clearly inspired by his works) by filming one or two funny and scary scenes. But it's too late
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johndrinkwater says...
3 years ago
Hellraiser vibes, but it’s a bit lacking. You’ll probably nope out mid‐way through and I cannot argue why you should keep watching.

It leaves you with a lot of questions that unlikely have an answer, disappointing.
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Tomáš Flekač says...
3 years ago
The only thing that was good about this film were the masks and the effects, but it's all the story of an unbelievable catastrophe and the headless murder of it, I had to laugh because I can't take how anyone can shoot this at all. I love horror movies, but this was one of the biggest crap I saw and that's why I have to put this movie on my list of the biggest bullshit so I never watch this movie again. I was just bored with the whole movie and wished it was over, which doesn't happen to me much. Otherwise, my list of worst movies can be found in my list of worst movies. I'm sorry for my English, I know she's not good.
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miguelreina says...
4 years ago
Failed attempt of haunted house horror with some tongue-in-cheek elements. The brothel as the scene of the murders that provoke the curse has a certain sarcastic touch, and use an ex-WWE player as the main actor, too. Although the part of fixing up the house is humdrum, the gory ending, despite its incongruities, is enjoyable, including tributes to Sam Raimi.
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jarvis-8243417 says...
4 years ago
A dark and atmospheric horror film, Girl on the Third Floor delivers more mystery than scares. While fixing up his new house Don Koch encounters a mysterious young woman who comes on strong and forces her way into his life, meanwhile the house seemingly thwarts his repair efforts. The cast is okay, but the script is weak; taking a long time to go nowhere. And it doesn’t really offer good or satisfying answers to what the house (or spirits) wants or why or how it (or they) does what it does. Gore hounds won’t find much here, but there’s some disturbing imagery, body horror, and a bit of blood. Kind of a mess, Girl on the Third Floor is a mediocre film that goes more for shock scares.
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condesoto says...
3 years ago
bad movie full of nonsense.
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