Onto the halfway point in the Halloween franchise, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers. This film is a direct sequel to the fourth film, containing all the essential and main characters from the last movie as they further the story of Michael Myers…a story that has long overstayed its welcome, but here we are. Comparing the fourth and fifth film, I can say I like this one better, but not by a large margin. As I review it, I’m going to try to explain why. So, let’s get into it.

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers shows how, once again, Michael Myers narrowly escaped what everyone in the audience already assumed was his actual death. It actually made sense too, because the newly introduced Jamie could have, and maybe should have, taken over his identity. The fourth movie ended coming full circle and teased the idea that Jamie may, in fact, be just as evil as Michael was as a child – but when you watch this movie, you realize that isn’t the case. After Michael survives the ordeal, he goes into a coma for a year, waking up at surprise, surprise, Halloween time…where he…stalks Jamie again. Only this time, she has a psychic link to him for some reason.

As I’ve mentioned, I like this movie more than the fourth…but why? On a completely technical side of things, the fourth movie may make a little more sense – but I believe the introduction to the characters was silly, the murders were more random, and I felt like it was just a money-grabbing sequel that really made no sense as to why it existed. In general, I feel like it existed in order for this movie to exist (in a similar way, I feel the same applies to the first two films in the series, so it’s appropriate). This film is unique, as horror film sequels should be. It changes things up and gives the little girl a psychic link to Michael Myers.

Why would a psychic link be a good thing in this series that is otherwise grounded in reality? Because it’s not grounded in reality. It never was. Since the beginning, the audience has had to accept the idea that there is something supernatural about Michael Myers – but it never expressively told the audience that…they’ve only said that he’s evil. This psychic link all but proves that theory, which again, grounds the franchise back to a discernment of reality – well, something that makes more sense anyway. Now we can sit back and say that there is something supernatural at work here.

That being said, Halloween 5 is still a pointless film in a money-grabbing horror franchise. Loomis is losing his mind, and not in a good acting way. He’s loony and makes the movie just a little more laughable, which is sad, considering the fact that he was one of the best actors in the first movie. The rest of the cast is just average at their abilities to act, and in the end, the movie doesn’t seem all that special. I just think it’s slightly better than the fourth.

Five more Halloween movies to go. Do you guys think I’ll make it?! We’ll see.

Much of this movie is preposterous and unwatchable. Loomis is all over the place in the first part of the movie, but when Jamie is actually in danger, he's nowhere to be found, and her fate is left in the hands of an elf-looking boy and Rachel's random friend, about whom the audience has been given no reason to care. Also why was Loomis man-handling Jamie for much of the movie and scaring her more than she already was? Another guy named Michael, Tina's boyfriend, who comes off as an ass, gets killed; no one cares. This other couple - I guess their names are Sam and Spitz - are having sex in a barn in a overly long scene, and they get killed; no one cares. At least the cops in the previous movies weren't complete buffoons, and if you couldn't tell the two main policemen in this film were buffoons, there was carnival/clown music playing when they appeared on screen. :facepalm: The buffoon cops died; no one cares. It seems the only being more indestructible than Michael Myers is Loomis himself. Dude's been shot, had half of his face burned off and then got stabbed. I'm intrigued by who the mystery man in black is, but that's about all I'm intrigued by after watching this film. When I started the franchise, the filmmakers teased at getting into some of the psychology or more of the history behind why Michael is the way he is, but it's been five films so far, and little else has been said about it since. So it seems, at least up to this point, filmmakers are just going to have him skulk around and kill indiscriminately while he's on Jamie's path, and that's about the most depth for which we can hope. After this one, I'm not necessarily looking forward to the next installment. I hope I'm surprised.

What I'd really like to leave here as a "review" is something like, _"I have no words..."_ Unfortunately, I _do_ have words…none of which are positive. Why the entire _Halloween_ franchise became so hugely popular becomes ever more confusing to me, as this series is just utter rubbish and nonsense, a toxic blend of disjointed and confusing stories that have zero explanation. From the very first _Halloween_ I still have no idea why Michael Myers became suddenly hellbent on destroying his own extended family, or how he gained such immortal and supernatural powers. His ability to "heal" from gunshot wounds, knife wounds, falls, boards to the head, etc make Wolverine look like a first-year student at Professor X's School for the Gifted. And in this particular episode of the ongoing saga, the story - along with the script, the acting, the dialogue, and everything else - just steeps deeper into the bilge tank. What a complete stinker. Wow, this was absolutely horrible... just completely awful. There was **nothing** to like and scads to detest about this film, from the weird attempt at ... I don't know.... were the plans to make the little girl a "scared speechless" mute for the entire movie until they discovered she just wouldn't shut up? Or was it part of the storyline to have her suddenly lurch from "scared speechless" into "scared stammering" when she finally burst out with _"T...T...Ti.....Tinaaaa!!!"_ (Insert eye-rolling sound here) Ai yi yi, this was bad. Everything. EVERYTHING about this just reeked. Even some of the closing scenes were an obvious ripoff of the _Friday the 13th_ movie. Like I said, there was absolutely **nothing** to like about this, and pretty much **everything** to either disdain, sneer at, despise, or just look away from. I must have some kind of sick masochistic tendencies to keep watching these but _Halloween_ is one of the few horror franchises that I haven't watched in its entirety, and - halfway knowing what to expect, sadly - I decided I would go ahead and get this one out of the way. From the original _Halloween_ to this one, it has gotten progressively worse and I don't hold out ANY hope of it improving, not even with time. Take my advice as one who has sat through this stinkbomb: AVOID THIS ONE AT ALL COSTS.

Michael Myers attacks trick-or-treaters on Halloween

Michael Myers survives his descent into a mind shaft from the previous movie and holds up with a hermit for a year before returning to his hometown in Illinois to attack his niece during Halloween and any trick-or-treaters who get in the way. As usual, Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence) is on his trail.

“Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers” (1989) has the best sense of Halloween up to this point in the Michael Myers story arc with a considerable amount of the runtime involving the entertaining shenanigans of trick-or-treaters. While it’s not great like the previous entry it’s pretty much on par with the original 1978 movie and I actually prefer it even though it’s less classy/arty and more blunt. Remember the infamous closet scene in the original? This one has a similarly effective sequence revolving around a clothes chute and Jaimie Lloyd.

Ellie Cornell returns from the previous movie as Rachel and looks better, but it’s charismatic raven-haired Wendy Foxworth as Tina who’s the main protagonist (aside from Jaimie, that is) with blonde Tamara Glynn offering support as Samantha. There’s also a Fonzie wannabe and his bud.

This is the first movie in the series to throw in a little camp and comic booky-ness like the “Friday the 13th” franchise did with “Part III” (1982) and subsequent installments. The campiness has to do with the two goofy deputies and the comic booky-ness relates to the mysterious man-in-black and the corresponding twist at the end, which is supposed to segue into “Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers” (1995). Like “Friday the 13th Part III,” there’s a long sequence involving a similar-looking barn.

As with “Halloween 4,” the movie was shot in the greater Salt Lake City area, Utah.

GRADE: B

You've got to help me Jamie. You've got to help me find him. We both know he's alive.

Halloween 5: The Return of Michael Myers picks up where part 4 left off, only Michael is not dead, obviously! He's come back to Haddonfield intent on finally killing his niece, Jamie (Danielle Harris), who due to trauma has lost the ability to speak and now has a psychic link with mad uncle Michael. Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence) is once again on hand to be nutty and spout ominous warnings, while all other folk in Myers' way are doomed.

It starts off quite promising, with shades of Frankenstein (1931) offering hope that maybe this wont be a sequel reeking of cash cow formula. Unfortunately it proves to be a false dawn, evidence that the writers were out of ideas, it lacks scares or a narrative spark to ignite suspense sequences. Harris is once again superb, Pleasence good fun as usual as he hams for all he is worth, while an extended sequence in a barn keeps fans of the series happy. It's passable fun for the slasher crowd, but ultimately it's unimaginative and a low point for the Halloween franchise. 5/10