The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard, (yep it got a sequel), is the type of action comedy where it’s nasty in violence and crude in script, so it depends on whatever or not you feel uncomfortable by it.

The action scenes are quick cuts and nothing special.

The biggest take away I got from this is how bad I felt for Ryan Reynolds character Michael Bryce. Never have I seen a character in a comedy go through so much trauma, pain, neglect, and humiliation. There came a point in the movie where the character is covered in someone else's blood, but he just leaves it on him for a while, not really reacting to it because I guess he’s already lost his insanity.

On the bright side of things, there were three jokes that I thought were funny. 1.) There’s a jump scare where Salema Hayek sneaks up and appears behind Ryan Reynolds. 2.) How Morgan Freeman is introduced in the movie was unexpected, genuinely funny, and easily the best joke of the movie. 3.) Michael Bryce tragic backstory to how his mother died was so stupid and ridiculous, which made it even more of a tragedy.

Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson once again have decent chemistry despite the two playing the same characters from other movies. Salema Hayek, who is in her late 50’s, still looks good despite the movie portraying her as a screaming old hag. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to find Frank Grillo’s character funny, because I didn’t laugh at his jokes. Antonio Banderas is always charming in everything he does, even if he is playing a basic evil villain.

Overall rating: A loud “shoot ‘em up” movie that doesn’t do anything else than pass the time and be entertaining...for some.

My faith in American cinema hasn’t been _this_ low. Imperialists are just out of ideas. It’s literally depressing these types of films make money.

This movie is exactly as dumb as you think. A juvenile kind of humor - swearing! the funny man said the F word LOL! explosions! boob jokes! terrible CGI of people being run over by a car! _Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard_ genuinely feels like it was written by a 10 year old boy.

* Who in their right mind casts Antonio Banderas to play a Greek man called Aristotle Papadopoulos (!!!!!!) while still speaking in his Spanish accent???? Cause you know there are no Greek actors in Hollywood, I have never heard of Greek actors, ever!!! In Hollywood you can't have a person with Spanish accent as the villain, no no, that's not PC, so let's make him .... Greek. :face_vomiting: And the Spanish accent of the ”Greek” 'mastermind' is as depressing as Oldman's fluctuating stereotype "Russian" accent, that was SO SO fucking bad that make my ears bleed. Will Yanks ever give the roles of Russians/Greeks etc. to actual Russian/Greek actors? The answer is NO! That way Yanks would be out of roles pretty quickly.

* Sam Jackson plays the same character in every movie.

* I hate to be that person but I could tell this movie was written by a man because of literally all of Salma Hayek's dialogue and basically her character as whole. She can never complain about the state of female or ethnic representation on screen when the casting sheet for her character was probably, _"Loud, very loud Mexican woman. Has really big tits. Reaaally big. Seriously, she screams all of her lines."_ When the jokes don't stick, screaming's going to make them work so much better.

The plot is every, generic, Russian (_BUT_ Greek in this case, because diversity, yay!), spy movie about American idiots having to save the world, you've ever seen in your life. Of course, in this type of movies, the plot just has to make no sense at all - in this case why is the EU placing economic sanctions on Greece? And what Antonio Banderas's master plan was, to shut down Europe's data?

As a sequel of an action comedy, this is a _predictable_ action comedy. It fills two hours with all the expected elements, in multiple instances and variations.
Wit replaced by "strong language", plot replaced by clichés, suspense replaced by action sequences (with CGI to reduce costs and make things safer). A couple of nods to completely different franchises, solid pacing; no arc of suspense despite an continent is to be eradicated. The story lacks any sense, the characters any depth - but it has lots and lots of humour.

Pity it's not my type of humour; but hey, other people will be shaking with laughter and will be highly entertained.

Watch at your own risk and discretion: check any two minutes at random, decide - the entire movie is like that sample.

Despite holding one of the worst sequel titles ever created, The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard was always going to be a film I'd be interested in watching. The original flick was a straightforward, dumb action-comedy movie with a bunch of Hollywood stars attached to the project, which was always going to be financially successful. Fan-favorite comedic actors like Ryan Reynolds (Pokémon Detective Pikachu) and Samuel L. Jackson (Spiral) bantering for over an hour-and-a-half? Of course, viewers will run to the theaters...

This sequel follows pretty much the same formulas of its predecessor. Every remotely emotional moment or storyline is replaced by a random joke or nonsensical action sequence. A vast majority of the dialogues feel like stand-up comedy or improv from the actors. Even the villain portrayed by Antonio Banderas (Dolittle) checks all the caricatural boxes of the "bad guy". From the writing to Patrick Hughes' (The Hitman's Bodyguard) direction, it all feels too familiar and unexciting.

The bloated runtime, the overwhelming amount of jokes, and some rough language might be a tad too much for some audience members, but the phenomenal chemistry between every cast element is enough to compensate for an otherwise forgettable flick. Hopefully, a more than certain third film won't add more apostrophes to its title...

Rating: C

When audiences last saw Bodyguard Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds); he was dealing with the aftermath of helping save the day and his long-time nemesis Darius Kincaid (Samuel L. Jackson). Taking place shortly after the events of the first film; “The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard” finds Michael trying therapy after he has a reoccurring and disturbing dream following the loss of his AAA Bodyguard license.

His Therapist is eager to be rid of him and his multiple neuroses and suggests that he give up guns and the life he knew and find himself and his future self while relaxing in Italy.

Michael accepts this and becomes at peace and is so clueless that while lounging with his noise-canceling headphones by the pool; he is oblivious to a brutal and protracted gunfight around him.

In no time; Sonia Kincaid (Selma Hayek); whisks Michael away and fills his ears with a string of highly unfiltered comments and rants. It seems that Darius has been kidnapped and asked her to get Michael to help him out. Michael is unwilling to use guns and finds the to say unstable would be kind; Sonia to be way too unhinged for his new lease on life and that Kincaid wanted “Anyone but Michael” when he asked his wife to get help.

The trio is forced to work with one another by Interpol as it seems there is a plot underway to destroy the European Union and Michael, Sonia, and Darius have no choice but to do the bidding of the Government or face charges.

The fact that Sonia is desperate for a baby and a Honeymoon only complicates matters further as they recklessly head to their assigned mission and find that a very wealthy individual has nefarious plans and has hired elite professionals to ensure all opposition to his plans are removed.

What follows is a madcap, violent, and dysfunctional romp as the trio battle the bad guys, the law, their own abundant issues, and each other to try to save the day and clear their slate with the authorities.

While the film is not going to win many points for an original, complex, or overly complex plot; the setup and narrative serve to give the film a showcase for its strengths which are the three leads. Reynolds and Jackson work very well with one another and Hayek often steals her scenes with her compassionate yet teetering on the unhinged portrayal of Sonia.

The jokes fly as frequently as the blood and the bullets and there is some great scenery as well which frames the action and story perfectly. There are also some appearances by some very good actors in significant supporting roles which I will not spoil but suffice it to say they really support the main cast well.

I summarized my reaction to the local Publicist as follows…” Not much plot, cartoony bad guys; but the great cast, action, and humor”. While the film will not set a new standard in the Action Comedy category, it is still an enjoyable enough romp despite the flaws and it would be great to see the trio back for another madcap adventure down the line.

3.5 stars out of 5