jock lead, check
hot girl with all-time perfect makeup and visible rack cleavage for male gaze, check
nerd guy with glasses, and curly hair, check
nerd girl also with glasses, shorter hair, childish clothes, trying to show "female power" but failing anyway, check

the movie is riddled with clichés and tropes. every scene, moment a child can predict. cliché!!.

it has released much early in my country by the way. and I don’t think anyone cares for a **SPOILER** in this movie/franchise??. but you’ve been warned none the less

u almost think. oh wow, I did not expect that to happen. good work. NOPE SURPRISE!!! that’s exactly cliché thing which was supposed to happen.

some dumb person smiling and being happy that he escaped a dino. nope he will be EATEN!!!!.

every henchman in the bad guy's team was an animal cruelty symbol. u know so that we would try to root for the poorly written "so called" good guys I guess....

the dialogues are also cliché. "holy shit" "you have to see this”. we have all heard this before.

it was like this movie was written with a book of cliché’s nearby. I don’t get it, this is a sequel right? so why can’t they do something new. carry things on. why do they have to have the very same moments throughout all the series. it’s almost like they are welcoming "new audiences" to the franchise. and so there u go: here is 1 unrelated guy eaten by a huge dino. here is a scene where someone barely escapes. here is a classic "safe" dinosaur with relaxing bg music for all chars to see. typical Jurassic movie tropes here.
and to fill things up they also had some horror tropes for no reason. even some non dino ones!!. like a little girl scares her nanny. and we as audiences have to witness few seconds of a scene where it felt like we are watching a murder movie.
the characters are horribly written.

why are we supposed to root for Owen (Chris Pratt) again? he seems like a jerk. who doesn’t care for anything at all ever but himself. Claire breaks up with him every time for some reason... (but its ok because they will get back together of course, because... movie). he had abandoned his care for dinosaurs. and we never know why. pretty ex gf just guilt trips him over one beer and he is ready to join the adventure. WHY??? WHAT CHANGED HIS HEART? WHY HE BECAME ASSHOLE IN THE FIRST PLACE??

and oh btw. it happens in the cliché scene again.
where they wait for him at the plane runaway. and oh nooooo he is not gonna come :(.
SURPRISE. he is already there!!!.

Bryce Dallas was told to look pretty and act pretty. that’s pretty much it. and she is all "dinosaurs must be free" now.... because...... I don’t know... movie... again. what happened? what changed her mind??. is it because franchise kicked off and we must root for these people now.

why break them up????? why do we get to see their intro all over again. because hey the next time they fall asleep. girl's hand will be all inside Chris Pratt’s shirt. (IT HAPPENS!!!)

is this even a sequel? it feels like a reboot of a reboot. this person was trying to commercialize dinosaurs and was pretty much a huge jerk aunt to those kids (who were so annoying and thus I’m glad they are not here btw)

the "villain" is this guy, who knows Claire from before and he explains to her why they must save the dinosaurs into this new place (oh please, we know you’ll be the bad guy, we have read book of cliché’s too movie)

he ultimately brings the dinosaurs for an auction back to the city.... without anyone realizing anything.... man these guys could run the country if they're so powerful and covert

there are 2 stereotypical nerds. with franklin written so bad that I wanted him dead asap. overacting AF. seriously. if u tell me u like him you are just a casual moviegoer or a troll. I can’t describe him more without the need of punching something.
there is a scene exchange between him and the leader of the capture team. where just within 2 seconds he is taunted "Can u open this door tiger" something like that. and the door like practically immediately opens. and this nerd is like. "there u go, tiger". yeah nice comeback

minutes later they are locked in and this guy acts like he knows nothing now. he keeps being a weirdo and and changes his motivation within seconds of a scene just for weird humor.

horribly inconsistent characters.

during the first encounter with Owen’s friend dino raptor blue. (who also was not a reason enough to come join this mission for Owen, "let them die" he said)

the capture team people go bad. (because cliché) and they shoot blue and Owen. fine.... but now the nerd girl who was 2 minutes ago showing off to this team as a badass girl because "girl power" I guess? is now taking a gun and pointing at the.... ok ... for what.. will u really shoot them? they did not really kill Owen or the dino. how badass are you u want to show??

and they all ready to shoot her too. but due to some illogical argument which I really don’t want to get into. this "Mexican standoff" stops but the guys shrug her off.

there is this little girl's character who is shown to be a complete Mary sue at first. she can go anywhere to listen in on conversations way too smart for her age. she is not afraid. she is a daredevil , not afraid of heights at all. u know what. I’m all cool for powerful child characters if the movie is ABOUT THEM!!. this was really awkward. the worst part like I said how character arcs go haywire. as soon as she encounters her first dinosaur. she is screaming at the top of her voice. and then continuing to do that till the movie ends.

hey u know what, don’t show me a dinosaur loving young girl afraid of nothing at all at first and then since she is a girl, she has to scream unbearably loudly every time something is happening and then keep hugging chris pratt for no reason. instead of probably claire which would make more sense. stick to your character traits maybe...

cliché moments and cliché characters. yes, I am using the word cliché a lot. but that’s what I was rubbed with in my face in few hours ago.

there is an auction going on where they present the dinosaur in the huge case which I am sure pretty much hides all the bidder to the auctioneer. but movie!!!

lot of moments of story did not make sense. and I don’t want to spend more time for them.

the cinematic moments like the dinosaur roars and everything were same old same old. so, it’s a dino fatigue at this point. nothing new and fresh for it. I was seeing in this Imax and wanted to be blown away and scared probably. but it did not happen. it’s really like they are catering to a fresh new audience rather than people who see and remember movies, like the first parts!!!!

The set pieces although feel fantastic at first end up being anti-climactic. The whole third act takes place in that huge manor where the auction takes place. After which there are teases for the sequel. Why does every movie want to be a franchise so badly? First be good and people will throw themselves over your movies and wait day by day for sequel. Me included. But this shove in your face teases after your average movie makes me want to punch someone!! “The dinosaurs are free in this world now. So get ready for awesomeness you wanted in this movie, in the next part!!!” Yeahhh!! F***!!!!!!!

Jeff Goldblum was shown in trailers. and thats exactly how long he will stay in the movie, couple of minutes. why show him in your trailer and ruin a cool surprise which could have saved this movie otherwise marred by cliche's and average writing.?? and if you show him like that. maybe use him much more in the plot......

I really enjoy movies and am more than happy to suspend my disbelief as much as possible. but it was not possible here. so, I’m not thrashing on this movie for no reason. it really was bad.

that being said. few positives here are:
the special effects are spot on. couldn’t really complain here. it’s sad how much potential can be wasted.
also, I have nothing really against the actors. I am sure most of them were doing their best and are talented. the writing and the direction lead to this mess.

the sound and music were decent.

if you are a casual audience this movie is perfect. you will NOT be disappointed. but if you are an avid moviegoer. tired of tropes and repetitions and also somewhat of critic. get ready for a lawsuit because you would have punched someone sitting on your side or front.

definitely won’t be watching this again even if I have time and money to kill. not even years later on streaming I think

enjoy!

“These creatures were here before us. And if we're not careful... they're going to be here after. Life cannot be contained. Life breaks free. Life... finds a way. Welcome... to Jurassic World.”

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom takes place three years after the events of the first movie. The left remaining dinosaurs are left on the island as a volcano erupts. As the advertisements put it, “The park is gone”. All of this only raises one question: Why would you put a family theme park next to an active volcano with dinosaurs?

Anywhere...

After the monster success of “Jurassic World” a sequel was certain to happen and will find new ways to bring these extinct animals back onto the big screens. While I enjoyed the first movie a lot, but nowhere near as good compared to Jurassic Park. Had its moments overall, just not Spielberg level good.

We have a new director J.A. Bayona, with Colin Trevorrow only writing this time. Bayona is best known for horror and supernatural tragics, so I was interested for what he will bring to this new franchise. He dose bring a lot those elements into scenes where tension actually worked this time around. You can see the influence to older movies like “Nosferatu” and the golden age of monster movies into play. I must admit, the cinematography is visually stunning and makes the dinosaurs look terrifying. Unfortunately, all of this gets watered down by a terrible script, convenient situations, and the final result is Hollywood fluff.

The visual effects, (for the most part) looked really good and never takes you out of the movie when interacting around non-digital setting/people. I noticed some animatronics dinosaurs, but can easily get overshadowed by the heavy CGI. When I said “for the most part”, there are some shots were it looked a bit noticeable. Other than that, the visual effects are the strongest element to the film.

Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard ain't brilliant in terms of acting, but at least have great chemistry. If look at any interviews or press event, the two get along so well it easily shows on screen. The biggest change in terms of character is Bryce Dallas Howard, who’s not as idiotic like the first. While both characters aren't great, as some questionable decisions are made, although slightly better compared to the first. Although their motivations for saving the dinosaurs only makes you agree with Ian Malcolm (Goldblum) even more.

The film introduces new characters played by Justice Smith and Daniella Pineda, who tag along with are main characters. One of them can access and hack into anything, but he’s a afraid of pretty much everything - the drop of a penny can startle him, probably thinks it’s a T.Rex. Also his screaming can go right through you. The other takes care of Blue after being badly injured and that’s really it. Both of them didn't do much for me. Half way through the movie you forgot about them, because they literally disappear from the film and later come back in the third act.

The movie is, at the very least, self aware of itself. Evidently by Chris Pratt’s character before agreeing to go on a mission ironically states “What could go wrong” when things go wrong. Giving small winks to the audiences when the obvious is gonna happen. With the endless amount of stupid decisions on top of more stupid decisions to push the plot along - Which I guess if every character had a brain, this movie wouldn't exist, then again it wouldn't be a great loss.

Speaking of idiots, let's talk about the villains. I’m not gonna beat around the bush when I say this, but these are some of the most cartoonist villains I've seen in awhile. It’s pathetic how tedious they are. You wanna know they evil plan and goal? Guess, just guess:

Yep it’s money - Easily one of the worst.

If you’re looking forward for Jeff Goldblum’s return to the series and what role he will have on the story, just from the promotional material alone; well I got some bad news for you. He’s only in two scenes and the total screen time is one minute. All of it is courtroom debates. His character adds nothing to the film, just recycles dialogue from the previous films. What a waste of Goldblum.

Overall rating: While coming off as negative towards the film, it’s not bad or painfully to watch. I mean, it’s stupid fun. The ideas are present in ‘Fallen Kingdom’ for what it’s trying to set up or be, just needs a sharper execution. For those wondering about the third movie, don’t worry...

The studios will find a way.

Cover Version 2

It was 1993 when Jurassic Park was unleashed upon the film loving public, spawning a blockbuster franchise and pop culture thunders in the process. Sadly we now find ourselves suffering cover versions of what was once a great and thought provoking premise with high octane thrills into the bargain.

I guess once they started personalising the Velociraptors, making one of them a friend of man, it was the beginning of the end. But we accepted it - sort of - jumping into 2015's Jurassic World with carefree abandon. More dino carnage we wanted, a bright cast fronted by the ever likable Chris Pratt and Bryce Howard drew us in, but it was merely ok, a franchise entry that was just a quick fix but nothing more. But of course box office talks and the franchise lumbers on to Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom...

Plot returns to Isla Nublar which along with all the dinosaur inhabitants is about to be vanished from the planet by the mother of all volcanoes. Cue mankind jostling over whether to save a species that was once extinct whilst others have nefarious motives for financial gain.

Off we go then, stock characters that are over familiar are performed by different actors but go through motions we have witnessed before, whilst the writing strains for a sort of human empathy factor that never hits the mark. There is nothing remotely fresh (well Howard has at least changed her footwear to something more credible) or exciting on offer here, it's a tired cash cow that's in dire need of extinction itself.

Naturally another instalment will come along, and naturally it will make money, with myself and the other millions of Jurassic zombies filing in to view what we hope will be a return to the heady days back in 1993. But it's most likely a forlorn hope, so maybe, just maybe, it should be enough now, enough? 5/10

A strong, **strong** opening that it never recovers* from.

(*"never recovers from" here meaning "never stops dissapointing afterwards".)

_Final rating:★★½ - Had a lot that appealed to me, didn’t quite work as a whole._

More dinosaurs, Opie’s hot daughter, Dracula’s castle and Indiana Jones

“Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” (2018) revolves around Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) and Owen (Chris Pratt) leading a team back to Isla Nublar to save several species of dinosaurs after an active volcano threatens all life there. The plan is to relocate the dinosaurs to a new island sanctuary, but that’s not the way it works out.

My title blurb pretty much says it all for this fifth film in the franchise. I mention Indiana Jones because the movie has a “Raiders of the Lost Ark” (1981) vibe more so than the other movies. The reference to Dracula’s castle is due to the fact that the entire second half takes place at a cool, gothic chateau in Northern California and there’s a scene with a genetically-enhanced raptor acting like Dracula.

Curvy Bryce is just stunning throughout and easily blows away any other woman in the series. Meanwhile Pratt seriously upped his game as leading action hero (I wasn’t overly impressed with him in the previous film, although I didn’t dislike him either). At the end of the day I’d have to rank this installment as my favorite, followed by the original 1993 movie and 2015’s “Jurassic World.”

The film runs 2 hours, 8 minutes and was shot in Hawaii and England/Scotland.

GRADE: A-/B+