Have to say, I’m surprised at the reaction to this movie. So confused by the positive reviews, it almost feels as if I watched a different movie. It is enjoyable but everyone is a caricature from the start. I thought it was more fun than the first, but the first was a better movie, with better characters and structure. _Glass Onion_ is a decent movie at best. It does unfortunately feel “Netflix’d” for lack of a better term.

The story is weak - here we're dealing with a super villain with make-believe technology who's trying destroy the world, how original, at least he is not Russian. The motives are weaker— especially for the scientist, the ending is implausible - the perfect example of having a message you agree with shoved down your throat with absolutely no subtlety whatsoever. This one reminds be of _Dont Look Up_, it's extremely on the nose. All the modern day references make me role my eyes. Maybe people aren't as drowned in internet s**t as me but aren't movies where we wanna escape to? If I wanted to see people make low-hanging jokes about Elon Musk I'd just read Twitter.

A list of my problems with _Glass Onion_:
**1. The group dynamic**. At no point do they actually spend time establishing the dynamic and friendship between these characters
Speaking of which, none of the characters really impressed me at all, I found everyone pretty one-dimensional and several were there just to take up space. All of them are caricatures - the meathead, dumb blonde, politician etc.
**2. Helen miraculously surviving** a bullet via a notebook felt cheap, and somehow Miles is in a perfect spot to shoot her behind an obscure glass structure and escape without being spotted. Speaking of which, was the reason Miles tried to murder Helen at all? He 100% knows Andi is dead. He surely knows she had a twin. He surely knows this is Helen. He has the evidence in his possession. What is his motive here?
**3. The twist** was kind of hokey. A twin sister, really?
**4. How Miles had a room key bracelet ready for Benoit**, if he wasn't expecting him? Another added detail is that they were supposedly assigned by chakras. How would he have Benoits if he didn't know he was coming?
**5. The Benoit Blanc** we meet in _Knives Out_ is deeply intelligent and observant. The 'detective' Blanc we meet here is a buffoon who pawns any real detective work off onto Janelle Monáe's character. Stating that Blanc isn't good with dumb things is the biggest cop out in the world to have written a dumb story.
**6. SO much telling and not showing.** Half of the dialogue was literally Craig and Monae's characters explaining different parts of the plot to the viewer. The flashback sequence took a lot of time and kinda drove the tension out of the story.
**7. The fact that the entire mystery hinged on Bron being dumb.** It feels cheap that whatever segment of the murder that's wrong can be copped out with Miles being an idiot. I feel like a billionaire would hire someone to kill Andi and not do it personally. Another nitpick is that the 'twist' is that Miles so stupid despite him killing two people and leaving the world's best detective with zero tangible evidence that can convict him. Miles somehow managed to get all of charaacter's careers started and at least co-built a company and managed to have Andi kicked out of it.
**8. The ending dragged out too long.** It felt like the solution was there once the napkin was burned, but then there had to be one last 'big twist' to make the movie more dramatic, just for the sake of shock value. The fact that Helen blew up the house but it was still intact and nobody died felt a little too unbelievable. Miles Bron’s last line of indignation was extremely cheesy. Him calling everyone a shithead while shaking his head was akin to a Scooby-Doo villain calling the gang a bunch of meddling kids before being sent to prison. It definitely felt cartoonish. The ending was the cheesiest thing i've seen in years. And then the friends are unwilling to turn on Miles even after it is revealed he killed two of their friends, but will do it because Helen broke some things?? Considering they're all extremely reliant on Miles' money and success.

_Glass Onion_ feels like a bloated version of a fleet Broadway show. It was far too silly for me, the screenplay, the characters, all of it. i mean, it was entertaining, but it was also quite dumb.