This is truly awful, which is exactly what it was suppose to be! It is an exploitation film (look it up on Wikipedia, it’s a thing). And the talent seems to have lined up to be in it: De Niro, Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, Don Johnson, Steven Seagal, Chechen Marin, and so on. Expect every excess of popular film making and you will probable find it, or alluded to, here.. As this was my first foray into this genre, I watched the whole thing (and there are sequels!). For its genre it is a cult classic. For my tastes, it only has curiosity benefit, and it truly is stupid, so I’m going to tread lightly here and give it a 5 (genre and taste, balanced) out of 10. [Exploitation Film, B Movie]

Adapted from one of the fake exploitation trailers of Rodriguez and Tarantino's Grindhouse project. This has definitely more heart and raw energy than the sequel "Machete Kills", but the pacing is a bit dull, and the action scenes are not always as memorable as they should.

The mother of all macho-action-grunt-splosion movies, and if you were expecting something different, I don't know what trailers you were watching. Easily the most morbidly hilarious film I've ever seen, I was cracking up at over-the-top triple decapitations within the first minute and shocked at the kind of material that was eliciting so many belly laughs. It's paper-thin by design, proudly heavy handed and clearly something everybody had the time of their lives filming, but the entertainment value does start to wane by the end of the second act. May have been more fulfilling as a joke trailer, though I'm sure I'll watch it again when I'm in the mood to shut off my brain.

Machete is the badass gore action revenge movie. Pity it's getting repetitive towards the end. Still lotsa fun. Stupid badass fun.

Paco Cinea: Image and sound 4.5/5. That music, those actors so suitable, that story, that very sharp machete and Danny Trejo

I'm still not sure if I should give this movie a 8/10 or a 3/10.
its so -extremely- bad that its actually good, from a grindhouse point of view.
crazy movie.

Love this movie. Michele Rodriguez all day!

hahaha I'm not even 5 minutes in the movie, and I already love it!! its pure awesomeness!!

Awesome! :D
Pure B movie, but they pulled it of.

It's the best for me like Grindhouse "planet terror" or "dead proof".

PURE AWESOME.

There's a certain appreciation you have to have for a movie that knows it's stupid but pulls it off since so rarely these days does that actually happen. Holy hell did Michelle Rodriguez look hot in this bad boy, ay caramba!

I want to give this a horrible review but the truth is, it's so bad it's good...which is exactly what it intends. There's a half of me that wants to shake my head, do a facepalm, and say _"My god, why would anyone watch this?"_ and at the same time, I'm laughing at how ridiculously cheesy it is. The only legitimate (IMO) complaint I have about this movie is Jessica Alba. No doubt she's thrown into the mix for a little bit extra eye-candy (as if more were needed) but really she can't even pull off this cheese-fest part she's been given. Every other actor/actress pulls off their part - even Steven Seagal made it laughable - but Alba...she just didn't seem to understand this film wasn't intended to be Oscar-winning material. From Robert DeNiro to Don Johnson to even Cheech Marin, they all pulled it off and made it laughingly terrible. I really want to give this thing an absolutely scathing review but the truth is, it was hilariously awful. Watch it at your own risk...

Level "Entertaining" • 6 :heart: • You may or may not enjoy this.