Ladies & gentlemen, they & them,

Early 2000’s superhero movies are back, baby!

Madame Web is a top-tier dumpster fire.

- It has some of the worst dialogue I have heard in a while. How are these writers, who brought us such gems as Dracula Untold, The Last Witch Hunter, Gods of Egypt, and the trillion-dollar hit Morbius, still working?

- “Every day that goes by, my appointment with death gets closer.” is an actual line from the movie. There is plenty more to go around.

- The editing and visual effects are atrocious.

- The acting from everyone is awful. The line delivery is shockingly low energy, and I did not believe a word any of the actors were saying.

- I have seen these actors do great work in the past, so this is 100% the director's fault here. It's crazy how a director can get piss-poor performances from good actors.

- The characters had no chemistry with each other. The scenes together felt so awkward and unnatural.

- There are so many character choices that don't make sense.

- The villain fucking sucks. There is no real character to him. He's just a boring evil guy who wants to kill three “teenagers” because he dreamed of them killing him in the future. He is not threatening at all.

- I noticed the actor who played the villain was dubbed over with ADR for most of his scenes. You can tell.

- None of the humour landed. Painfully unfunny.

- The 2003 pop culture references were a pathetic excuse for creating a time capsule setting.

- Adam Scott and Emma Roberts have nothing to do here. You wonder why they are even there.

- For a superhero movie, there are barely any exciting action scenes. Whenever there is some action, it's nothing special. I would not mind the lack of action if the story, characters, and acting were superb, but it has none of that.

- The fact that the final battle scene takes place underneath a Cola/Pepsi sign is another example of the terrible product placement from Sony.

- The final shot is the most embarrassing thing I have ever seen.

My jaw is on the floor of how a movie like this can be shit out by a big studio. Sony REALLY needs to cut it out with these unnecessary Spider-Man spin-off films.

Madame Web is the worst superhero movie ever made. Yes, I mean it. At least the other bad superhero movies had some redeeming qualities to it. But this movie has nothing. Everything about this movie is wrong. Fant4stic is better than this. It makes Morbius look competently made.

The current state of superhero movies is in trouble, and Madame Web is not helping.