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User Reviews for: Pandorum

drqshadow
3/10  4 years ago
After abusing and overpopulating the Earth, humanity's last gasp at survival is a two-hundred-year trek to uncharted paradise amongst the stars. But while the last survivors of our race wait in cryogenic storage for landfall, gruesome monsters have unexpectedly taken over the deck. This really had the makings of an entertaining little romp - not quite smart enough to be Alien, nor eccentric enough to be Event Horizon - but it falls flat on its face in the follow-through.

It's color-by-numbers in all the worst ways, stealing liberally from dozens of sources and robbing them of the intangibles that made them worth taking in the first place. The dialog and acting are downright atrocious, equally pale impersonations of brighter pictures. Dennis Quaid, no stranger to sci-fi stinkbombs, takes the lead as one of the ship's off-kilter captains, and promptly hams it up with an awful Harrison Ford impression. Behind the scenes, the editing is aggressively irritating, confronting every tricky scene with so many jump cuts, I felt close to an epileptic seizure. Even the film's climactic twist, revealed like it were the mother of all mind-blowers, is telegraphed at least an hour earlier and whiffs like a kid at his first tee-ball practice. So much energy and enthusiasm, but nothing more to show for it than a gust of air and a loose sense of embarrassment. Decent creature effects and a strong claustrophobic atmosphere, but that's all I'll give it.
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