I watched this again, with my father, in preparation to see The Meg, 'cause I was worried hearing reports the upcoming film was neutered of it's blood soaked glory. I wanted to compensate any blue balls I thought I would have by first drowning myself in wild girls tits and ripped apart penises before inevitable disappointment. I think Piranha loses some of it's enjoyment on repeat viewings, but there's enough over the top fun and classic b-movie antics to keep all horror fans satisfied. It's crazy to see such a crass and low brow endeavor like this film get critical acclaim from critics. The effects aren't the greatest, the story is childish, but the greatest attribute it boasts I proudly agree with is it doesn't hold back. This is a clear cut modern example of not taking yourself seriously, just having fun with your premise. You want to see an entire lake of spring breakers get ripped to fucking shreds with blood and gore everywhere? You will most definitely get it and more. You want to see Christopher Lloyd briefly reprise his role as Doc Brown raving about the piranhas? You got it. Want to see Eli Roth get his head cut off? You bet your ass you'll get it. Want Adam Scott to shoot piranhas with a shotgun while riding a jet ski? It's here, baby. How about tearing the shit out of them with a boat propeller detached like a chainsaw? I'll stop spoiling the fun. It's a crazy match made in heaven, few "don't take yourself seriously" films like Sharknado hit that very specific sweet spot that makes the film fun as hell to watch, but not in a laughing at it bad way. Piranha 3D is the very rare gore fest that knows how to have loads of genuine summer fun; a return to 80's exploitation.

Piranha 3D was meant to be a fun and entertaining B movie that offered plenty of gore. It certainly had a lot of gore, I will give the film that, especially the big spring break attack, however I just was not all that entertained for the most part. It is a film that knows what it is and doesn't try to be anything more, which I give it credit for. The plot is super thin and is just made up of so many conveniences. I was not interested in many of the characters and was not that impressed with most of the performances either. Especially Jerry O'Connell, his character was really irritating. Steve McQueen was not interesting at all as the lead. Maybe with better writing, I would have liked him more. The porno side of the story I found a drag to get through. It certainly helped to have some attractive woman on scene though. A few funny moments and while nothing spectacular in terms of CGI, it was not terrible and I did like the design of the piranhas. The climax had some pretty good tension and I get its mean to be mindless fun, but with paper thin characters, their just a bore when theirs no piranhas present on screen.

4/10

In 1975, Richard Dreyfuss starred in Jaws; 35 years later he had a cameo in Piranha. His connection to the first film is obviously the only reason he’s in the second, wherein he’s killed off before his name even appears in the opening credits.

Dreyfuss is not alone, though; Elisabeth Shue and Ving Rhames also get to whore themselves out. In the latter's case, there was never any danger that Piranha would result in another hand-me-down acting award for Jack Lemmon; on the other hand, Rhames has easily the best scene in the entire movie — using an outboard motor in a way that would make Ash Williams proud.

But I'm getting ahead of myself; Shue and Rhames first have to find the remains of Dreyfuss, then capture a piranha which they take to Christopher Lloyd (in full Doc Brown mode), who identifies it as a species that has been extinct for two million years (according to the subtitles, Lloyd calls it the "regional piranha," but he may actually be saying "original"; either way it doesn’t matter because neither term makes sense).

An earthquake released the piranhas from an underground lake, or some such bullshit. Q: "How could they survive for so long cut off from the surface?" A: "Cannibalism. They must have fought each other to survive.” Until, presumably, there could be only one. Piranha MacLeod? Well, that would actually explain their apparent immortality.

Piranha is supposed to be a comedy — or, specifically, it's a remake of a parody of Jaws released three years after Jaws and 32 before this one. In other words, this material was so diluted it was almost homeopathic.

Shue and Rhames are big fish in a small pond here — kinda like those poor Sea World orcas (I know they’re mammals; you get the idea, though); as such, the only emotion they inspire in the audience is pity over their career choices.

Only Jerry O'Connell, in a role no doubt based on Joe Francis (of Girls Gone Wild infamy), moves as if he's in his own element — ​​because he is; he knows exactly, having been in several others of the same ilk, what kind of movie this is, and navigates it accordingly.

When evil, inbred, cannibal, devilish, prehistoric, underground piranha are unleashed on the tiny town of Lake Victoria during "Spring Break", the outcome is all rather predictable. Babes, bikinis, boobs, bums, blood, bazulco and bad acting.

Run from a budget of $24M the film has almost no actors of note in lead roles. Although there is a cameo from Eli Roth (_Inglourious Basterds_), which is always cool.

What we have here, is a virtually flawless example of stupid fun. There's no point in trying to evaluate a film like _Piranha 3D_ on factors like good taste, because it goes out of its way to smash these conventions apart. The film has this crazy energy about it from beginning to end.

It also however, is the perfect example of why 3D is so fucking unnecessary. And though I appreciate how forward the film is, that doesn't make it strictly speaking good. It's part creature-feature, part horror-comedy, but it doesn't stand up in a thrill sense to actual monster movies like _Anaconda_ or _King Kong_, and it doesn't stand up in a humour sense to actual horror comedy like _Shaun of the Dead_ or _Dead Snow_, but it sort of takes off on its own in a passable manner. Though it's kiiinda humorous, the film is mostly just "fun", as opposed to "funny".

The script seems cobbled together with a couple of different half assed plot points, but several half ass plots taped together is better than just one half assed plot trying to hold its own and ending up looking like no plot at all. Exploitation has never really been A-grade material, and even though the "suspension of disbelief" thing that films are supposed to have as a general rule, is sort of... not here, _Piranha 3D_ still manages to somehow get this piece of crap off the ground.

I watched it at about 2am with a male friend of mine who has very similar taste and sense of humour to me, and that's pretty much got to be the best possible setting to watch it in. The CG gore is ridiculous, the 3D focus is ridiculous, the film itself is just fucking ridiculous. But brainless is great sometimes, just don't make a habit of thinking that you can get away with bad exploitation, and calling it Black Comedy, once or twice is fine, but soon it just looks like you're aiming for cult, and getting lazy.

-Gimly

This is the 2010 remake of the old classic. The original is pretty much crap so I bought this one solely based on the fact that it has been getting unusually good reviews from both critics as well as viewers.

I have to say that I am at loss as to why. There are loads of much better films in the action/horror/fantasy genre’s that, at least the so called “critics” totally hammer. Why the hell this trash got so good scores is beyond me.

The female acting consists of showing off your boobs then get eaten. The male acting consists of being an asshole, get your dick eaten, then get the rest eaten. The main “event” is a contrived scene when the main asshole get his dick bitten off and the piranhas eat it and spit it out again under water. I’m sure the 3D effects made it even more ridiculous than in 2d. I usually have rather high tolerance for poor acting and bad scripts when it comes to otherwise effects and gore loaded films but most of this film I was just thinking, “what the f... is this shit!”.

Most of the film was just scenes stashed on top of each other designed to show of 3D effects with boobs and various ways a human could get eaten. This is a typical example of why 3D is bad for the movie industry.