A pointless, nonsensical entry in which Godzilla is drawn to a remote tropical island, discovers a freshly-hatched infant of his own species and takes it under his wing. Various light amusements ensue: misguided fire-breathing lessons, jump-rope with the adult creature's tail, forgettable tangles with a trio of giant insects. The little guy, an unholy mishmash with a reptilian body and the pudgy cheeks of a human infant, might be the worst-looking kaiju in the entire series (which is really saying something) and big daddy appears to have developed a case of the googly eyes since his last appearance. If everything weren't so incredibly dull, I might have been offended.

There's a ground-level story going on, too, something about an isolated team of scientists whose weather experiments tie into the climax, but that doesn't amount to much. Without a city to stomp or a serious threat to punch - those radioactive mantis critters scarcely offer any resistance - there's very little to keep viewers engaged through the dregs of bad comedy and bland storytelling. Even my Godzilla-crazed kids turned to me afterward and admitted that it was lousy.

In one scene of "Son of Godzilla", one character says to another, "We're not watching wrestling here." Right before that, Godzilla gave a giant praying mantis a bodyslam like Hulk Hogan against André the Giant. I don't know; somehow, that's not the tone I like in this kind of movie. The whole concept of Godzilla suddenly having to take care of an adopted son is also ridiculous to the max, with humor that just doesn't work for me. The story surrounding the human characters is also weak this time around, making "Son of Godzilla" a major letdown across the board.