A pointless, nonsensical entry in which Godzilla is drawn to a remote tropical island, discovers a freshly-hatched infant of his own species and takes it under his wing. Various light amusements ensue: misguided fire-breathing lessons, jump-rope with the adult creature's tail, forgettable tangles with a trio of giant insects. The little guy, an unholy mishmash with a reptilian body and the pudgy cheeks of a human infant, might be the worst-looking kaiju in the entire series (which is really saying something) and big daddy appears to have developed a case of the googly eyes since his last appearance. If everything weren't so incredibly dull, I might have been offended.

There's a ground-level story going on, too, something about an isolated team of scientists whose weather experiments tie into the climax, but that doesn't amount to much. Without a city to stomp or a serious threat to punch - those radioactive mantis critters scarcely offer any resistance - there's very little to keep viewers engaged through the dregs of bad comedy and bland storytelling. Even my Godzilla-crazed kids turned to me afterward and admitted that it was lousy.