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User Reviews for: Southland Tales

bukman
CONTAINS SPOILERS1/10  2 years ago
This is a movie that when I am ranting about other films is the "Ten" in the "on a scale of One to Ten..."
Example: On a scale of One to Southland Tales, how frustratingly painful was this movie?"
I watched this movie over a decade ago and I still feel the poison of it in my veins to this day. I guess if you are going for memorable, that is one way to go about it. I have spent too much time in my life (including writing this) thinking about, researching and even ranting about this film. What I have found prevalent by the positive reviewers is that
1- (bad excuse) It was bad editing
2- (deflection and projection) You are not smart enough to understand this film
3- (more recently) It is a prophecy, telling the future in the Trump Era
The way I see it,
1- No amount of film that was cut out of this movie could patch the huge plot holes that are gaping through this mess.
2- My imagination should never have to fill in the blanks of bad writing and make up a plot for them to make this film work. That is the job of the writers and the director. This is the rhetoric of those that also think that the movie Inception was a profound work of cinematic genius. (Spoiler: [spoiler] It wasn't! [/spoiler] )
3- I couldn't give two steaming piles of Southland Tales about your personal politics, they still wouldn't make this movie bearable even if they dead-on had Donald Trump play the role of POTUS in the film.
The casting was very confusing. Nearly all of the actors involved are amazingly entertaining (in other films and media). In this movie however, they are misused and wasted. They could have spent 1/10 of the casting budget and still had the same result when it comes to execution.
The only way to sway my opinion is if somehow, 20 years from now, it is discovered that those responsible for this film systematically crafted this project to infect a small percentage of human brains. Like a virus that stores itself in the darkest corners of the mind to make people rant about it. Thus causing others, unfortunate enough to have to listen to that rant, to be curious enough to watch it for themselves to see if it could possibly be that horrible. (Spoiler: [spoiler] It is! [/spoiler] )
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