This is the worst movie I've ever watched 15 minutes of. Lars von Trier once said he knew at the latest fifteen minutes into a movie whether it was worth continuing, and I took that advice to heart, so here we are.

Okay. Seriously. SERIOUSLY? Yes, 102 years ago, "cinema" was in its early years. Silent movies, someone on a piano going plonkty plonk while people were drinking moonshine, smoking plutonium and coughing up pneumonia. Great. How fantastically interesting in a historical perspective. (Seriously, though, it is.)

But hello, and welcome to reality in the now. This is absolute garbage. The only way this is useful in any way is as a source for memes. I'd like to see this with a death metal soundtrack. Or in MST3K form. Anything. Or simply as something displayed on the wall at a rave, for kitsch.

This is TERRIBLE. Anyone who rates this more than 1 stars is either a movie historian (thumbs up, dudes, I do appreciate you work, whatever it is, maybe not actually) or a pretentious dumbbell, who has never enjoyed a movie in his or her life for fear of being wrong about enjoying it.

Christ on a mongoloid horse. Garbage.