A total mess. It's another example of contemporary filmmaking where making an actual movie is at the bottom of the priority list. It's pure corporate drivel that won't be remembered by anyone in the long run. However, for a brief moment, it tricked me into thinking that it wasn't going to be like that. In fact, I quite liked the opening action sequence. Sure, visually it's already not up to snuff, but the weird ideas and energy of the scene totally won me over. Once it gets into the actual story, it immediately flies off the rails and never recovers. To start off, it has a massive problem with delivering exposition, so much so that every crucial piece of information is repeated at least twice for the dummies in the audience. Ben Affleck and Kiersey Clemmons make a quick cameo in order to spell out the character arc of Barry in the film through clunky dialogue. It turns out the actual meat of the story revolves around Ron Livingston and Maribel Verdú, who play Barry's parents. A good movie would realize that this is the emotional heart of the story, the thing that should be the main focus of its multiverse/time travel set-up. Instead, this movie sets that stuff aside and turns into an exercise of branding and dopamine. Think _Spider-man: No Way Home_, but somehow it makes even less sense. So much of the pandering here comes off as pathetic and desperate. I like Michael Keaton's portrayal of Batman in the Burton movies as much as the next guy, but when you cut here from him flying like a plastic doll, to his stuntman kicking ass, to a close-up of old, wrinkly, post-_Birdman_ Michael Keaton, I can't help but laugh. Let's turn his character into a joke and give him long hair for the introduction scene (in order to conveniently hide the stuntman), only to make him look like regular Michael Keaton two scenes later when barely any time has passed. Let's put in a beat where Supergirl leaves the group for one scene without any clear motivation. Let's make sure Keaton says the line about going nuts, who cares if it makes any sense. It’s all painfully stupid and hits one shallow emotion after the next. Sometimes it tries to be funny, there's a surprising amount of slapstick in this. It's different than the snarky lines and bathos we're used to in superhero movies, which is nice, but I only chuckled twice and cringed at most of the other stuff. The movie weaves in the origin story of Barry, which is a neat idea, but this means we get to spend time with the 18 year old version of Barry Allen, hands down the most annoying character you're going to see at the movies this year. It was pretty smart to retcon Miller's abysmal _Justice League_ performance into a character arc, but both versions of the character here are still incredibly obnoxious. The performance is godawful, almost every line that comes out of their mouth sounds phoney and overacted (no, my personal feelings regarding Miller have zero influence on this). I can't really comment on any of the other performances or characters (Shannon, Calle), because their appearances are too brief to leave a genuine impression. Everything leads to a rushed third act that has no problem breaking its own logic in regards to time travel, and it goes completely nuts with the amount of pointless fan service. It even introduces another villain out of nowhere, all before wrapping up the story in a way that barely feels like a resolution for anything. The (clearly reshot) ending scene ensures that this wasn't entirely spinning its wheels, but a lot of stuff still gets no pay-off. In terms of filmmaking, this is also pretty disastrous. Yes, the green screen and PS3 graphics are terrible, but more importantly this movie isn't even capable of putting two Ezra Miller's on the screen in a convincing way, which is a type of visual trick that got perfected back in the 90s. The framing and lighting often enhance the visuals looking like plastic, and this gets particularly bad in the third act: the staging, blocking and editing are an incoherent mess. Finally, the music is unmemorable and sounds like a poor man's Danny Elfman. I don’t understand the decision to omit the Flash theme from the _Justice League_ film, which was the only memorable bit from that soundtrack (and composed by Elfman, no less). Maybe the filmmakers wanted to distance themselves from the theatrical cut, but then why is this movie insisting that this is the first time Barry runs back in time? That’s already canon in the director’s cut. Just so many baffling decisions with this one. You should do yourself a favor and just (re)watch the earlier seasons of the tv show, there's nothing to be gained by investing your time in this trainwreck.

2.5/10