The Meg.
Alternative title: Everything wrong with contemporary Hollywood in 2 hours.
Alternative title II: This one’s for you, China.

Without a doubt, the most excruciating watch of the year.
Now I know what you’re thinking: what about Fifty Shades Freed?
Well sure, but you can at least laugh at that, this is just one facepalm after the other.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: oh come on dude, just turn your brain off!
How about we stop having that mentality as the norm?
I can take a movie that doesn’t make a lot of sense, as long as it doesn’t insult my intelligence and/or is genuinly funny (e.g. Kingsman, or MI).
The Meg is neither.

The effects look like crap, and the acting, well, acting is a term used losely here, is fucking horrendous.
That latter point is mostly a result of the Chinese cast.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: RACIST!
I’m not, the point is that Chinese people are taught to communicate and emote differently through their own language, hence when they’re speaking in English, it’s not always convincing.

Overall, it’s loud, overblown, ugly, and poorly made.
And it’s too long, about 113 minutes too long.
Just shut up, Meg.

2/10

Ps: if you want a decent B movie starring a shark, watch 47 Meters Down, or The Shallows.