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User Reviews for: The Package

wolfkin
4/10  4 weeks ago
In spite of some cute faces, decent acting, and somehow a penis prop not being the worst part (don't get me wrong it was bad). This movie fights against the odds to be as blasé as anyone would imagine based on the trailer. The elements are all there. There's a touch of cleverness to some of the dialog and the rest of it doesn't make me want to poke out my eyes. The nerdy guys aren't so nerdy they're gross. The girls aren't so attractive you lose verisimilitude (I have no other way to phrase it that doesn't come out like a backhanded compliment but I do love Geraldine Viswanathan legit she's great). Eduardo Franco and Blake Anderson fulfill a need for long haired men I didn't realize the movie had. Mary Holland as the Triage nurse does her best. But this isn't the American Pie/EuroTrip inheritor you hoped for. It's not a teen sex comedy. It's not a teen drinking comedy like 21 or The Binge. It's a wanna be sexed up Goonies with neither the heart or the sex to go with it.

There's a lot of elements that unexpectedly work in favor of the movie. The locations are effective. I could have used a few more hi-jinks but mostly on paper it works. Which is why it's such a shame the movie just kinda flops about and flails to the finish-line. The dick sucking jokes come across not as crass or gross but instead just weird and pointless. For what is so clearly a grossout comedy. I just feel sad for it. Shame because there's occasional bright spots that almost make me wish they'd taken another crack at it.
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