ᴍɪꜱᴛᴇʀ ᴘᴏʟɪᴄᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ
ꜱᴀᴠᴇᴅ ʜᴇʀ. ɪ ɢᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟʟ
ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʟᴜᴇꜱ
⛄️
"The Snowman" is the biggest disaster of a film in recent memory. With such a huge cast of great actors and a well experience director, who could've thought a movie would feel so incomplete and dull. The scenes where things are meant to be intense came off hilarious.

When the Popcorn Song is the killers own theme tune song and he literally dances to it; are we suppose to be disturbed by this? What is up with the derpy face snowman the killer leave behind as calling cards. It looks so fucking goofy and not intimidating in slightest. Who thought a drawing that a 4-year old would make would be a good for a murderer?

Michael Fassbender and Rebecca Ferguson are decent, but we've seen better from them. Val Kilmer looks and sounds different, like his lines were dubbed over or something. JK Simmons literally has nothing to do with the main plot. The rest are just an after thought.

There's are bright spots within the snowy sh*t storm. The cinematography is gorgeous and you can see it being good movie if it was in the right hands. No bad performances from anyone.

Still, Fassbender needs to get an new agent.

Save yourself the money on this movie. Scenes from the trailer are nowhere to be found in the movie, but I can live with that if the movie is still good, but boy it wasn't.

[spoiler]This could have been a good mystery IF they made Arve Stop actually do some shady stuff, the entire movie Katrine wanted to bust Arve for the murders, but based on what? Sleeping with woman...? Making money by betraying friends...? This movie had waaaaay too many loose ends. If you watch the movie you know what I mean. The entire sequence between Rafto and Svenson for example. Was this just a filler? What did it add to the movie, except for the murder scene of Rafto?

The movie makes a very predictable end by putting the nice guy as a bad guy. Motive of the winter murder spree is not explained that good in the movie. The way he died was too stupid for words. For people who want to know, he fell through the ice, when he was closing in on a shot down detective Harry Hole. For a serial killer that never doubted killing someone this death could easily be prefented by shooting his gun from a distance.[/spoiler]

So keeping this all in mind. I rate the movie a 3, because of the acting. it was ok, but ok acting doesn't make an ok movie.

A kinda dark catch-the-serial-killer movie. It works enough.

The characters and varied and complex enough to be interesting. Acting is good. The snow covered sceneries are beautiful. The atmosphere really works.

The investigation is interesting in the beginning, but falls apart after a while. Either I missed lots of details, or it really didn't make sense. Maybe because you pretty much guess who the killer is from the moment they say [spoiler]he had medical information[/spoiler] I didn't pay enough attention to the false leads ?

- There's a whole thing about catching the husband of the first woman lying, that goes nowhere.

- They get a call for the second woman disappearance, from her husband. But she's actually there. Then the killer gets her. When she calls her husband he doesn't seem to deny having called the cops. So, what are the odds here ? That's a woman the killer has tracked specifically. And her husband makes a fake call to the cops, and they come a few minutes before the killer ?

- [spoiler]Katrine thinks that Støp is responsible, but apart from the affair, nothing points to that. And doesn't fit the other kills.[/spoiler]


- [spoiler]We can assume the killer from the first case is the same. Mostly because Rafto got a snowman's letter too, but there is no parallel between Harry's and Rafto's relationship to the killer. The death of Vetlesen mirrors Rafto's, but the motives are completely different. Apparently only one woman victim. Plus the cop investigating (Rafto). Because he was closing in ? Nothing shows that. Also it was a long time ago. So still weird.[/spoiler]

- [spoiler] Why would he take the time to establish a relationship with Rakel ? Doesn't fit anything we've seen before.[/spoiler]

- [spoiler]What did he intend to do with Oleg ? And Harry ? Doesn't fit previous behavior either.[/spoiler]

- [spoiler]What's the point of having a scapegoat (doesn't fit other cases either), if you're gonna kill other people just after ?[/spoiler]

- [spoiler]Did he kill Katrine just to get Harry's attention ? Doesn't fit MO either.[/spoiler]

And a big wtf with the ending. Really ? [spoiler]Lakes are frozen, cars can go on it, but there is one small tiny man sized fragile patch that happens to be just in front of Harry and the killer steps on it ?[/spoiler] COME! ON!

This infamous flop is a pretty-to-look-at mess of confusion, tension, and some very good performances. In Norway, Detective Harry Hole (Michael Fassbender) and his new bright-eyed partner Katrine (Rebeecca Ferguson) are investigating a series of disappearances that have been going on for years, some centered around philanthropist Arve Stop (J.K. Simmons). A calling card, the titular snowman, is left at the crime scenes, and are the signature of some anonymous letters Hole is starting to receive. Harry and Katrine go through the motions, taking advantage of the police department's new piece of technical marvel equipment. Harry also involves himself in his former girlfriend Rakel's (Charlotte Gainsbourg) life, and the couple seem to be pining for each other once again.

It's never a good sign when your film's director admits that he only had time to shoot 85% of a screenplay he was handed after being brought on when the original director, Martin Scorsese, dropped out. There are a couple of scenes in the trailer that didn't make the cut of the film simply because there was nowhere to insert them in this incomprehensible story. Oscar winners Claire Simpson and Thelma Schoonmaker were credited as editors, but their expertise can't salvage this mess. The film takes place in Norway, with travels to Bergen in Germany, but all the performers speak English. The setting and character names are Scandinavian, try to stop laughing at the name "Harry Hole," but the film makers oddly went with this cast instead of moving the setting to Canada or Alaska, or hiring a Norwegian cast.

On the positive, and I don't know how, the cast is great. Fassbender is seen waking up from a drunken stupor a few too many times, but his performance is very good. Ferguson is okay, but Gainsbourg turns her ex-girlfriend character into something special, and I wish we could have had more of her. Karlsson has her new boyfriend is achingly polite and naive, not quite picking up on the chemistry between Harry and Rakel. Aside from a few iffy special effects shots, the true locations are gorgeous, cold, and snowy. Based on a series of novels by Jo Nesbo (why start shooting with the seventh one?), this should have been a franchise starter, but the box office returns took care of that idea. From what I have read online, the screenplay strays from the novel on key plot points and kills off a couple of major characters who would return in later novels.

It's too bad this didn't work, I would have liked to see more of this character in less convoluted, confused cases. "The Snowman" left the viewer, and apparently the film makers, cold.

Honestly, it should probably be shown in one of your early lessons in a film class. Slap on any given scene and ask the question "Now which decisions did you spot that should never have been made in this or any movie?"

Honestly the only reason it even comes away with a whopping(!) one-and-a-half stars, is that minute to minute, _The Snowman_ is so bizarre, that it actually reaches levels of laugh-out-loud funny.

_Final rating:★½: - Boring/disappointing. Avoid where possible._