[6.0/10] *Troop Beverly Hills* is dumb but watchable. That is, perhaps, to damn it with faint praise. But it falls into so many Wacky Eighties Comedy:tm: tropes that it should really be taken as a compliment. There’s no substance here, despite faint aspirations thereto, just the usual collection of fluff with a few more celebrity cameos and pratfalls than usual. That the film survives, and even arguably succeeds, while being held together with duct tape and nail polish, is an achievement in and of itself.

The movie tells the story of Phyllis Nefler, a bubbly, gossip-y shopaholic who’s soon to be divorced. In her post-marital soul-searching, she decides to become the leader of her daughter’s Wilderness Girls troop. Along the way, she rediscovers the creativity, ingenuity, and self-determination that brought her to her husband’s attention in the first place. But it takes locking horns with Velda, the uptight troop-leader with a rigid view of scouting and a mission to destroy Phyllis at any costs...for some reason.

The premise isn’t great. You can see the comic pitch resonating with studio executives. “What if a flighty Beverly Hills trophy wife suddenly had to lead a bunch of little girls through the great outdoors?” You might be able to get a sketch out of that idea. Maybe even an episode of a half hour comedy show. But it’s basically one joke, and not enough to sustain a feature film, regardless of how far *Troop Beverly Hills* tries to overextend it.

Thank God, then, for Shelly Long. Despite the misaimed remarriage story and the comical villain, Long is about the only thing holding this movie together. While her character has a threadbare arc and a two-dimensional personality, Long turns Phyllis into a spritely presence, someone with character and verve that makes her endearing even as she’s being ridiculous.

In fairness, some of the character’s admirable traits are on the page. Phyllis has a renewed determination and a sense of altruism that’s written into the film. But more than those broad elements, Long’s just a treat to watch on screen. She gives her all with the physical comedy, muses to herself between barbs, triumphs, and mishaps, and simply injects tons of character into each moment Phyllis has the spotlight. As a story, *Troop Beverly Hills* rarely rises above “Lousy”, but as a character/performer showcase, it’s a treat.

The same goes for the crop of child performers who make up the titular troop. Maybe I’m biased by knowing that singer extraordinaire Jenny Lewis is leading the charge, but the young actors are clearly having a lot of fun in their roles, and it shows. The movie flounders when it tries to sell the emotions of, for example, one of the girls feeling embarrassed due to her family’s lack of funds. But when it goes for light comedy with a hint of wish fulfillment, it does much better, and the girls’ “Take That” jaunts through Phyllis’s unorthodox Wilderness Girls sell the goofy fun of the gang’s misadventures.

But it’s just hard to jive with the film’s central ethos. There’s something valid at the core of *Troop Beverly Hills*, suggesting that despite her seeming vapidness in one of the phoniest little California bergs, Phyllis has potential, commitment, and creativity that were squandered in her quest to be the “perfect Beverly Hills wife.” The idea that looking after a group of other young women, soon to be in the place she was, inspires her to be her best self and allows her to inspire them to do the same is a good one.

The problem is that the prize for all of this isn’t merely a newfound sense of self-actualization and a better relationship with her daughter. The movie focuses more on Phyllis...winning her ex-husband back. The message seems to be less, “Frivolous seeming-individuals can be just as sharp or resourceful as anyone” and more, “If you fix your flaws and make something of yourself, your wealthy husband might come back to you.”

Even apart from the cruddiness of that message, the movie never gives us a reason to *want* Phyllis and her husband to be together, beyond the fact that their daughter wants it. It’s never even clear why they like each other. They mostly seem pretty crappy to one another, with little more than a few exchanges of googly eyes to make up for it. The whole relationship is threadbare and cheesy as all hell, with a generic romantic rival who literally gets knocked off a boat. If the creators of this film were going to center Phyllis’s arc on her romantic life, the least they could have done is spent more time developing the relationship, or repairing it.

But look, this is a cornball, shallow film, and I’m probably asking too much of it. Nowhere is that clearer than in the movie’s villain, Velda, a conniving, unfeminine drill sergeant who has all the depth and subtlety of skunk spray. She too comes with some troubling tropes, particularly that women who don’t conform to traditional femininity are angry trolls who verge on being downright evil. Even setting that aside, at some point she basically turns into part-Snidely Whiplash, part-everyone’s punching bag. Her over-the-top villainy becomes laughable by the third act, albeit not in the way *Troop Beverly Hills* seems to be aiming for.

Despite those core flaws, by the end of the movie, *Troop Beverly Hills* had kinda sorta won me over. You cannot think too hard about what messages the movie endeavors to send, and the ones it accidentally sends at the same time. You cannot take its fleeting attempts at sentimentality too seriously. But if you’re willing to take the film as a weightless, kid-friendly comedy (albeit one with some odd sexual humor), full of ridiculous but enjoyable set pieces and a chance for Shelly Long to go full ham, it has plenty to offer. It’s a roundly stupid movie, but one that gets by on its energy, its vibe, and most of all its star.