The whole truth and nothing but the truth.

FAFF: Faire France Formidable Encore. Vaincre ou Mourir is like if MAGA made a movie about January 6 from their point of view.

They say history is written by the winners, but this is what it looks like when the losers do it. Vaincre ou Mourir (literally, Vanquish or Die) tells the story of ignorant farmers and very rich people in the west of France who fought against the French revolution because they wanted to keep the church and the King in charge.

The funniest part is that here the losers are portrayed as the heroes and the revolutionaries are baby killing monsters.

I was kidding about the funny part because the real funniest part is how this film is made. It's a series of melodramatic speeches, many of them done in voice over and in dream sequences, where the content of the discourses is laughably atrocious.

All you really need to know about this film is that it was produced by the 4th largest theme park in France, founded by an ultra conservative religious royalist. A must-see for those who love films that are so bad they're awful.