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User Reviews for: Virgin Witch

Bronson87
3/10  2 years ago
Strap in, it's going to get heated.
I only wanted to watch this movie because Rob Zombie has a song with the same name. It's '70s, grindhouse horror, what could go wrong?
There is no real story in this movie, so I will actually delve into what transpires: The opening shot of the movie wastes no time with getting to the nudity - and it maintains this until the end - by the way, when I say opening shot, I mean the title sequence. That sequence is also used to show a woman being set on fire - by way of a terrible special effect. Do we ever get to know who she was or what that was about? Nope.
Moving on, we follow two sisters, Christine, and Betty - who appear to be played by actual sisters - within three minutes you get the first indication of the... let's just say, peculiar tone... the sisters are walking down a city street, and a guy just sticks his hand in Christine's ass crack. Turns out it's a friend of hers and they have a laugh about it. No, wait that doesn't happen. She doesn't know this guy, so she turns around and slaps him. Damn it, that's wrong again. She lets out the smallest yelp and walks off like it never happened. It never comes up again, and really has nothing to do with the story.
I'll pause right here to say that I love exploitation, nudity, and sex in movies. Movies don't always need to have depth or be anything other than entertainment. I also don't automatically clutch my pearls when a woman is treated like garbage in a movie, as long as it plays into the plot, and uses it to tell you more about her - great examples would be I Spit on your Grave, and Irreversible. But this... every man in Virgin Witch is total scum, and it never mentions that what they are doing is wrong. Getting into the second act, I thought, "oh, it's the '70s, this must be second-wave feminism at play, trying to comment on misogyny." Then I noticed that the women never argue, they never protest, then they just allow every advance. What the Hell is going on here?
Christine finds a job as a nude model, at a remote location. She brings her little sister with her... for reasons. There, Christine is shown around by Sybil - who keeps talking about witches. Weird, huh?
Christine starts her first shoot, and the camera guy puts the moves on her, which she is totally into. Why? Don't ask questions, just go with it. The director seems to want the audience to just shut up and take it, in the same way the characters do.
During this time, Betty is exploring the house, and finds the coven's ritual room - I say "find," but it wasn't hidden, the door wasn't locked, nothing.
Later, at dinner, it's mentioned that Betty "found" the room, and our main witches - Sybil, and Gerald - are shocked. Why? It's not as if you made any attempt to conceal it. Then they calmly explain that witchcraft is just a religion, and it's no more strange than other theistic religions - which is true. So, why the look of alarm on their face? Oh yeah, the director is terrible. At this point, I'm thinking "okay, the movie is trying to say something deep about Wicca" - spoiler alert, it's not. The first clue here is they mention a mask that has to do with a god or something, but it's an oni mask! That's Japanese! I'm thinking the people who made this movie were trying to mimic LaVey Satanism, and thought "oh, that mask has horns, so does Satan. Good enough."
Then we get to the initiation ritual - which again, takes way more from CoS than Wicca - Christine has decided she wants to be a witch... for reasons, and it's also hinted that she is a natural witch. Why? What did I tell you about asking questions? The ritual is predictable, and gross: the coven dances nude - not as sexy as it sounds - and Gerald bangs Christine.
There is also a running subplot here: Sybil is a lesbian. You'd figure it has something to do with the story, and it actually may.
In the middle of the movie, for no reason, we get a musical scene. I'm just going to stop asking why. Johnny, Betty's boyfriend, drives out the take Betty back home, because, get this, he's worried about her being around Sybil - you know, the homosexual. And, no, that's not me reading between the lines, he overtly states that.
Turns out the coven wants to make Betty a witch, for reasons that are never made clear. I forgot to mention that Christine, out of nowhere, has powers. [spoiler]As the final ritual happens, Johnny absconds with Betty. The coven goes back to the house, and Christine attacks Sybil - not up close, mind you, they are yards apart - by stabbing the ground. Sybil dies, and tumbles down a hill, and the coven doesn't care. There is no reaction, aside from blank stares. Roll credits. Wait, what? What did she do that was so bad? Was she going to do something? Why didn't the other witches stop her already? If the story has a villain, be clear on who the villain is and what makes them villainous. The other blatant issue is, why make her a lesbian at all? It didn't serve the story, and you had a hero character who expressed that her being a lesbian was terrible. You know, whenever I hear SJWs complaining about implicit bias in media, and I have to shake my head and say "you're way off base. you're just digging for trouble and projecting." Not here.[/spoiler]
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