This movie is a snooze fest and a total mess.

**- Characters?** Annoying and not compelling. Why does Celeste make pop music? _"Because it makes people happy."_ Haha. Groan. The actress who plays young Celeste had the emotional range of a rock, and Portman played the adult version like a crazy American trailer park lady with a comical accent. Brady Corbe clearly no interest in pop music, and has an extremely low opinion of the masses if he believes that Celeste would be this massively successful pop star in the year 2017.

**- Length?** So damn long. How come a two hour movie with four acts has so little story to tell?

**- The dialogue?** Awful. If someone told me this movie was written in Chinese and translated to English by someone who only speaks Portuguese, I would believe them. Natalie Portman’s character pouring out all this “we live in a society” garbage dialog was so cringeworthy.

**- Pace?** Too damn slow. First 10 or so minutes had potential (I thought this was going to be an interesting look at our society and culture), but it goes downhill from there. The school shooting was realistic considering how very often it happens in America, the terrorist attack on tourists in Croatia, however, completely and totally unrealistic. The gunmen had been wearing masks similar to the ones used in Celete’s music video because .... American poo music is that powerful.

**- The purpose of this movie?** Who knows? Not even this movie knows. Maybe it’s trying to say something about American pop music and .... its connection to how it influences terrorism in foreign countries? Like, what the actual fuck? And how many tragedies do you need to make a point?

**- Accents?** Absolutely horrible.

**- Narration?** Super cheesey. Celeste's innocence being lost at the same time as America's innocence being lost after 9/11 … come on now! So bad.