So...

Script; dreadful, absolutely cringeworthy in places. There are scenes when I wondered to myself if they were even trying, then I remembered he wrote last years "Red Riding Hood", so no.

Acting; there should have been some. No, really. Worthington hasn't acted since Somersault back in 2004. Neeson and Fiennes phoned it in and the call was collect.

Creature design; completely uninspired. Some look a little like high school art fair projects that won stickers for participation.

A couple of nice action scenes, but overall entirely forgetable. I woke up this morning and struggled to remember what it was I had watched. I had to check Trakt!

If you do watch it and in 3D, there is a very nice sequence about 7 minutes in I think (Maybe? Could be 30. Who knows, the film made space and time dilate. I was sitting beside a 60 year old version of myself by the third act). It is a reverse drop down a ravine, 180 into free fall and then twists down a tunnel; played hell with my vertigo in the best way. So I enjoyed at least 15 seconds.

Whimper of the Titans is hard to recommend, except to the high school art fair participants for a confidence boost.