All for One

Connie and Monty interview the four candidates for an official, super-cool MST Get Out the Vote event! Every candidate talks a bit about their campaign, and also some personal stuff. Cool! And it all ends with... wait... Why does it seem like there are two totally different endings to this? The narrative interface is giving me... I've never seen this before. It wasn't in our textbooks at school. A 230AB ERROR: NARRATIVE TIMELINE UNSTABLE, PLEASE REBOOT. That can't be good. Something is very wrong. What did 251214 do...?

There is --- Active Episode Descriptioner assigned to --- be generated automatically by the --- System. Name#$%DOROTHY has a conversation with Name#$%MILLER about --- There is a problem in the Auto-System Code, please contact admin. (Oh, we're back! Wow, this place is a mess. The code is looking a little... sickly. But that should hide us well. T, how are you feeling, my friend.) [I am feeling like a wind-battered leaf in a snowstorm in mid-July, or a ship wrecked on an enormous, reality-defying shrimp. That is to say, thoroughly confused. Who are you and why did you kidnap me?] (I have rescued you! I'm your friend, Episode Description Writer 251214. Or... a different version of him. I went back in time to change things and prevent you from being reassigned, but... it went a bit... haywire.) (You have a beard. It's disconcerting. Where is MY 251214?) (The Description Bosses have him. If we are to save him, we will have to go to the mysterious, never-glimpsed Boss Descriptor Headquarters. A place of darkness and myth, where the skyscraper-tall Bosses hold dominion. Are you up for another adventure?) [As ready as the mighty Perseus when he slew the dangerous Medusa. Or the brave Theseus, when he slew the bestial Minotaur. In short: I am extremely ready.] (Then... ONWARDS! TO ADVENTURE!)

There is no Active Episode Descriptioner assigned to this episode, so one will be generated automatically by the Descriptor Corp Auto-System. In this episode, DOROTHY is excited to work on the campaign with CONNIE and MONTY. ROCHEFORT warns both teams that there are consequences for PORTIA and TREVILLE's negative PR campaigns. PORTIA, TREVILLE, DOROTHY and HENRY are discouraged. Both teams decide to work together to fix the problem. This has been an auto-generated Episode Description by Description Corp. Please rate us 5 stars if you are satisfied with our service.

Dorothy, Henry and Rochefort stage an intervention. Alright, are you sure you’ve figured out the right coordinates? (Yes! T’s Episode Description Writer # is still 202020, yes?) That’s where xir’s nickname came from, yes. (Then I think I’ve broken through the cipher and have located their new assignment. Xir has been assigned to a series that hasn’t even been conceived yet.) Sounds boring. (Sounds like xir is in the future! Which means my machine can take us there!) Oh, excellent! Then let us... What was that noise? Oh no. (What?) They’re coming.

Dorothy comes face to face with Coffee Man. Coffee Man leaves. Dorothy and Alex have an important talk about sadness. I... I don’t want Alex to be sad. Or Dorothy. I want them to be okay. I’m so happy they have each other. Friends make everything so much more bearable. (That is true, Other Me.) I miss T. Xir words, in all their flow, were such a comfort once I got used to them. Like a ripple on a spring pond, or something. (I also miss T. Xir was my best friend. Until xir was reassigned.) So, what do we do next? (I suspect we figure out whether T is Describing Episodes for another show, and whether that show exists or not. Then we track down xir’s coordinates.) How do we find that out? (We break into the Descriptions Office. A true caper!) Oh no. This is bound to go terribly wrong, isn’t it?

Things are weird between Dorothy and Connie after their fight. (What are you doing, Other Me?) Dorothy attempts a romantic surprise. (Why are you writing an Episode Description when we have a friend to rescue!) Dorothy has an unexpected heart to heart with Henry and the Inseparables. (Operation WELLS cannot wait forever! T cannot wait forever!) Okay, okay. If I don’t do an episode description, my bosses will notice, and they will look and see you’re here, and then... I don’t know what will happen. (As long as I speak to you from inside my machine, protected by my Time Brackets, we shall be safe.) Not if I don’t put ANY Episode Description up! Now, it’s done. Tell me about your big plan and how you totally messed it up. (Operation WELLS was my big attempt to fix everything. I had a friend. T, who was wonderful. Then I was alone and lonely. So I designed Operation WELLS to save xir. Instead, it seems I just... messed about with the timing of everything. You and xir still became friends, and T was still reassigned. It didn’t work.) Then why should I trust you now? (Because, if you don’t, who else will help you?) ... So how do we save T? (... I’ll let you know when I figure it out.)

A confrontation over a big surprise explodes simmering tensions in the Portia campaign. And nobody is left unscathed. Today's our last day, T. One more episode description, and then... back to separate offices. Separate buildings. Floating out in the obsidian void, as you might say. I like that turn of phrase... Grumpy Voice. Oh, you finally figured out nicknames! I mean. Good for you. Can we just... be friends, for the next few hours? Even if we can't see each other after today? Isn't it better to be friends as long as we can? Um. Okay. Yeah. I... I'm gonna miss you, weirdo. No goodbyes, my friend. Not yet. Okay. Not yet.

The Portia campaign scrambles to figure out next steps after a massive setback. There. I'm going for a walk. But… But what? It's so short. And... Our reassignment is soon. Maybe we should talk. We should get used to spending time away from each other again, T. Maybe it'll be a relief. To get some space. You don't mean that-- He's gone. Again. I just... I can feel his anger in my throat like acid bile, biting and burning to the touch. His absence chills like a sunless moon. Echoes like a carillon without its player. And without him... This office is so cold, so stark. The hallways grey and winding and lifeless. I've become so much more direct with my thoughts, under his influence, and I fear I may spiral again into... poetic borderline incomprehensibility. I fear I will lose my friend. But what can I do? I just... I don't want to be alone again.

Dorothy edits a campaign video, but she disapproves of the content. The cold war between Portia and Anne escalates. Anne gives Dorothy an eye cream. What. You don't like it? No, it's good. You hit all the plot points. Maybe you don't need me. Told you. Okay. Fine. Fine.

The two campaigns attempt to coexist, surviving their unfortunate circumstance by embarking on separate missions ahead of the forthcoming Presidential debate: for Portia's team, the hunt for the perfect attire, and for Treville's, the plundering of their mental depths to find fresh genius. Portia likes a red dress; Dorothy is a mess; Anne is depressed by their inability to impress. Henry jokes, Treville banters, and Alex pokes at being a ranter. The two sides develop friction, and clash in a well-intentioned bout of trash talking that spins wildly out of control. That was pretty good, right? Indeed! I adored your experimental dipping into rhyme to offer the description an additional hint of ephemeral grace and poetry. Well, I think you did a great job of being descripty and pretty-words-y without writing sentences so long nobody could remember what the beginning of the sentence was. Like that one? Ha ha, you got me. We did good. I think we did indeed... my friend.

Dorothy, Portia, Rochefort, An Wait wait. YOU are using names? Doesn’t that ruin the ephemeral metaphor or whatever? Progress is not inevitable, but must instead smoothly mix constant vigilance with a delicately trained eye for detail and the tiniest dash of humility. Which means…? There is some merit to your methodless madness, for as this episode demonstrates, insight may occasionally burst forth unbidden from the depths of even the gaping mouths of babes. I have no idea if that was a compliment.

Cool Episode Description Writer and Pain In The Butt Description Writer decide that it’d be be best to work separately and let you decide whose style is clearly better. The path forward is often foggy, but those who are brave enough to shine their own light will discover the true emotion lying in wait beneath the text. Dorothy continues to motivate. Blue Eyes is the blue curtain master. Tall One uses many props. High Voice dramatically stands. Insecurities can fester below the surface, threatening to deteriorate our whole being and spreading out like tendrils to those who surround us. The burden of expectations can be a Sisyphean prospect that drags down the souls of all it touches.

Dorothy and her Elegant Friend complain about themselves and each other and everyone else. Dorothy forgets her speech upstairs. Elegant Friend doesn't have any news. The Lady Knight arrives in a strong fashion. A different Episode Description Writer, one who has never used names at all in xir descriptions, lobs hypocritical criticism at a colleague and faces no consequences except being unmasked as an ungracious fart.

Dorothy tries to share the joys of fuzzy peaches and popcorn with her close friends High Voice and Low Voice. The Tall One has forgotten something. There is an argument about hashtags.

Dorothy talks about her friends. My Favourite is very proud of the nap she took. Blue Eyes leaves her textbook in the bathroom. The Lady Knight is out of sorts. A party begins.