History Bites
(1998)Streaming Episode Guide
Season 5
A Newtiful Mind
Episode 15 - 7-31-2004
At The Movies With Ebert & Roeper reviews and shows clips from the new biographical film, 'A Newtiful Mind."" We learn how the mathematical and scientific genius spent most of his life working on biblical prophecy, and died a virgin.
Haven't Seen
A Win-Win War
Episode 14 - 7-24-2004
The War Of 1812 as reported by CNN's Crossfire. We hear from generals and politicians on all three sides: British, American, and Native American. It appears the British and Americans are claiming victory, while the Natives are claiming foul.
Haven't Seen
To Boldly Go...
Episode 13 - 7-17-2004
Imagine the story of the Spanish Conquistadors in Peru as an episode of the classic original Star Trek. Imagine Pizarro and his crew as Spock, Bones, Scotty, and Sulu, and the Incas as the bizarre aliens they must defeat.
Haven't Seen
Girls! Girls! Girls!
Episode 12 - 7-10-2004
A dead-on parody of The Bachelor explores the Mormon's early practices of polygamy. As the eager Bachelorettes discover, being wife number four isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Haven't Seen
Got You Dead To Rights
Episode 11 - 7-03-2004
The incredible story of a Pope who was dug up and put on trial by an angry, and apparently crazy, rival. The weirdest trial of the Dark Ages is presented on a parody of 'The Practice.'
Haven't Seen
Queen Takes Queen, Checkmate
Episode 10 - 6-26-2004
It's the rival regents of the Renaissance, Mary Queen of Scots and Elizabeth the 1st, battling it out on Jerry Springer. There's surprise guests waiting back stage, shocking revelations, and plenty of mud slinging in a battle royal for the throne.
Haven't Seen
Tax This!
Episode 9 - 6-19-2004
""Live from beautiful downtown Boston..."" America's political and social upheaval is presented in a parody of the hottest show from a later upheaval, with the American Revolution on 'Laugh In'. Guest political figures such as Ben Franklin yuck it up with regulars Dick and Dan, giggling Goldie Hawn, Artie Johnson, and Lilli Tomlin.
Haven't Seen
Marco & Nick's Excellent Adventure
Episode 8 - 6-12-2004
Marco Polo's book about his adventures across Asia and the court of the Kublai Khan was a huge hit across Europe. So this hot author guests on Letterman to defend his work against claims that it's fabrication and exaggeration. Then Marta Stewart drops by to demonstrate her recipe for Mongol beverages.
Haven't Seen
The Truth Is Out There
Episode 7 - 5-29-2004
Custer's defeat at the Battle of Little Big Horn as seen through the eyes of the West Files (X-Files) team. Agents Mulder and Scully confront the evidence and then head west because ""the truth is out there"". With the help of the Lone Gunmen and the cigar-smoking man, they uncover germ warfare, government cover-ups, and mysterious creatures known as Indians.
Haven't Seen
A.D.D. In 1510 AD
Episode 6 - 5-22-2004
The original Renaissance man meets the original Renaissance woman as Martha Stewart visits Leonardo Da Vinci's workshop. Leo demonstrates painting, anatomy, dissection, fortress building, weapon design, and much more. The episode also features a folk singer, Gordon Slicefoot, crooning about the perils of human dissection. There's parodies of Married With Children, and ads for some of the more bizarre products of the 15th century.
Haven't Seen
I Pray The Fifth
Episode 5 - 5-15-2004
The Cathars were a break away group of French Christians who rejected most of the Catholic Church's practices and beliefs. And they were persecuted to death for it. Their story is presented as a 20/20 look back at the history of the Cathars, which becomes a parody of Communism and the McCarthy hearings.
Haven't Seen
The Politics Of Puffy Pants
Episode 4 - 5-08-2004
The Reign of Terror, the executions, and the death of firebrand Robespierre are all explored in a parody of Seinfeld. Jerry, Kramer, George, Elaine, and Newman try to cope with dating, free love, death sentences, and the banning of religion in Paris.
Haven't Seen
Never Been Kissed
Episode 3 - 5-01-2004
The story of a bizarre but chivalrous knight who toured Europe in a white dress and blonde wig jousting and battling for ladies honour. Ulrich promotes his 'Venus' tour on Live With Regis & Kelly, where he ends up brawling with a famous Christian theologian who claims that the Church believes women are far from pure.
Haven't Seen
Talkin' Turkey
Episode 2 - 4-24-2004
The first Thanksgiving with the Pilgrim at Plymouth is done as a parody of All In The Family. Other parodies include a Batman-like cartoon called 'Captain Puritan', George on Seinfeld worrying about whether to emigrate to the New World, and Woody Allen obsessing on the persecution of his people, the Puritans.
Haven't Seen
The Osborgias
Episode 1 - 4-17-2004
A dysfunctional family (The Borgias) who bullied their way into the Papacy and almost destroyed the Catholic church with their scandalous vices; A deadly parody of The Osbournes, following Pope Alexander as he battles with his favourite mistress and most important bastard children.
8.8/10Haven't Seen
Season 4
Ten Lost Days
Episode 24 - 5-09-2002
After 1500 years of counting days, the old Julian calendar has fallen behind. Under pressure to set things right, Pope Gregory simply cancels October 6th through 15th. When Catholic communities convert, and Protestant ones don't, the result makes converting to metric system seem like a lark.
Haven't Seen
Out Wit, Out Walk, Out Eat
Episode 23 - 5-08-2002
The infamous story of the Donner Party stranded in the Rocky Mountains is done as a parody of Survivor. In its time, the Donner story was a huge scandal. Its intrigue and ruthlessness caught the public's attention as members of the expedition did anything to stay alive.
Haven't Seen
Gratuitous Sex & Violence
Episode 22 - 5-07-2002
Excess violence in popular entertainment is not a new issue. Shakespeare came under attack for the excessive gore in his play Titus Andronicus. But the Bard's latest play, Hamlet is opening this week, and Merriment Tonite is there to cover all the Renaissance glitz and glamour.
Haven't Seen
Five Ring Circus
Episode 21 - 5-06-2002
A look at the original Olympic Games reveals that even in Plato's time athletes took money to compete, won prizes and accolades for their victories, and were surrounded by controversy.
Haven't Seen
Bewitched
Episode 20 - 5-03-2002
A complex trial involving many witnesses, many accusers, many defendants, and invisible magical evidence tests the corporeal powers of Judge Judy. This parody of a courtroom sends up the travesty of justice that shook the early American colonies with reports of scandal, devil worship, and rampant evil.
Haven't Seen
Psychic Celebrity
Episode 19 - 5-02-2002
At the height of the Renaissance an obscure French doctor becomes an international sensation with his amazingly accurate predictions, such as ""The Lion of The East Will Meet the Dark Wind."" Wow! An infomercial for Nostrodamus's new book of predictions reveals this doctor is not much of a psychic.
Haven't Seen
Stairway To Heaven
Episode 18 - 5-01-2002
The ancient Emperor Nebuchadrezzar talks to Barbara Walters about his amazing Hanging Gardens, his vast new empire, and his plans to rebuild the tower of Babel so that he can reach the Babylonian gods. It's a look at the civilization of the Babylon and the importance of getting construction workers, contractors, architects, and building inspectors to all speak the same language.
Haven't Seen
Goodnight Good Knights
Episode 17 - 4-30-2002
A group who have dedicated themselves to charity and Christian works are suddenly accused of the vilest crimes imaginable. These crusading Christians known as the Knights Templar are rounded up by French authorities, and tortured into confessions. It's an unholy crusade against some holy crusaders, presented by Bill Kurtis on Medieval Justice.
Haven't Seen
Where No White Man Has Gone Before
Episode 15 - 4-29-2002
The Lewis & Clark expedition, the epic journey of the men who opened up the west for the whites and closed it for the Natives, as seen through a National Geographic-style documentary. Crews document the incredible journey into the unknown with all of it's bizarre but true twists. Channel surf to follow the other big story in 1804 America: the duel to the death between the Vice President of the United States and the Secretary of State!
Haven't Seen
Rock & Roll Has Got To Go!
Episode 14 - 4-10-2002
Young people and their loud, sexy music! It's a story as old as Plato. In ancient Athens, Greek elders were outraged by the younger generations lack of interest in organized religion, their rejection of traditional beliefs, and their nerve jangling new music. Sounds and looks like Beatlemania. In this spoof of a Beatles documentary we learn about four real Greek musicians who championed a new kind of music, that celebrated wine, women, and song. Or wine, young men, and song.
Haven't Seen
Domestic Terrorism
Episode 13 - 4-26-2002
The Gunpowder plot by Catholic dissidents makes the Oklahoma City bombing pale by comparison. Or it would have had it succeeded. This near-tragedy is more farce, with evidence that the whole thing was a government conspiracy to incite anti-Catholic sentiments. While the Guy Fawkes story dominates all of the Renaissance News channels, decorating maven Debbie Travis shows Catholics how to hide their priest from the authorities using false walls and a faux fireplace.
Haven't Seen
Kamikaze Save The Day
Episode 12 - 4-25-2002
Live coverage of the the great typhoon that saved Japan from the invading armies of Kublai Khan. This incredible story of Mongols beaten by meteorology is presented in a droll spoof of The Weather Channel. We also tune in to ancient Japanese commercials, editorials, game shows, and a phone-in program on ritual suicide.
Haven't Seen
Xena's Evil Sister
Episode 11 - 4-24-2002
A Celtic warrior queen proves to the Romans that women can be just as cruel and blood thirsty as men. In a wicked parody of Thelma and Louise, Boadicea and her daughters seek revenge for a rape by Roman soldiers, that leaves 70000 people dead.
Haven't Seen
A Canterbury Murder Tale
Episode 10 - 4-08-2002
In the 12th century controversial clergyman Thomas Becket was struck down in his cathedral by knights loyal to King Henry II. It's a case of papal power vs. the kings power, separation of church and state, and jurisdiction in courts. The murder case is solved and prosecuted in a parody of Law & Order.
Haven't Seen
Harpsichord Wizard
Episode 9 - 4-23-2002
In a spoof of every damn award show going, all of the hottest music stars gather to honour the recently deceased Ludwig Von Beethoven. The cream of the Romantic Era present awards, perform their symphonies, and gab with Joan Rivers on the red carpet outside the theatre. In a parody of the Elton John/Eminem duet, the anti-Semitic maestro Richard Wagner sings with converted Jewish composer Felix Mendelssohn.
Haven't Seen
Terror For The Sake Of Terror
Episode 8 - 4-22-2002
Oprah invites Ivan the Terrible on her show to talk about the reign of terror his black-shirted secret police have inflicted on Russians for the past 20 years, including the massacre 60,000 in Novgorod, and the murder of his own son. When Ivan proves reluctant to take ownership of his actions, and won't ""confront his issues"", Oprah brings in Healer Phil to bring closure to Ivan.
Haven't Seen
Francis & Me
Episode 7 - 4-09-2002
The second Upper Canada Rebellion lead by Scottish-born journalist & political rabblerouser William Lyon Mackenzie. A parody of Michael Moore, the rebellion becomes Roger & Me meets The Awful Truth meets a few hundred well-armed red-coats. Other early Canadian TV fare includes commercials, game shows, and a spoof of the Crocodile Hunter who's after the 19th Century's most elusive prey: ghosts.
Haven't Seen
Temptation Monastery
Episode 6 - 4-19-2002
Sex & Scandal involving the church. Peter Abelard, a brilliant religious philosopher whose writings helped reform and strengthen the Medieval church, appears on the Howard Stern show. Peter wants to discuss his theories on biblical issues and the interpretation of Christ's works. Howard just wants to talk about how Peter was forcibly castrated for knocking up a church officials daughter.
Haven't Seen
The Uncivil War
Episode 5 - 4-18-2002
The story behind President Abraham Lincoln's decision to issue the Emancipation Proclamation to give the Union forces the high moral ground in a brutal and bloody war is revealed in a parody of West Wing. As well, the Crocodile Hunter goes Slave Hunting in the old south, and the Discovery Channel looks at how marvelous new technologies like the telegraph, Iron Ships, and steam power, are being used to make war more efficient. Mass production leads to mass destruction.
Haven't Seen
Who Killed J.F.C.?
Episode 4 - 4-17-2002
The assassination of Julius Caesar as seen through the mirror of the modern political assassinations. Twenty years after the tragedy, Nightline Ted Koppel interviews Roman Citizens who claim Caesar's assassination was NOT a vast government conspiracy, but actually the work of one lone assassin. They claim the government invented the whole Ides of March conspiracy to hide the truth, keep order, and maintain the status quo.
Haven't Seen
Samurai Goodfellas
Episode 3 - 4-12-2002
One of the most enduring stories of Japanese history is the legendary tale of the 47 Ronin. When these Samurai lost their leader to a ritual suicide, or Seppuku, they became leaderless Samurai, known as Ronin. They vowed to avenge his death, before committing ritual suicide themselves. This tale of treachery and honour, in which a mob of tough guys avenge the death of their boss, is presented in a wicked parody of The Godfather.
Haven't Seen
Love & Death
Episode 2 - 4-16-2002
The incredible story of how German author/playwright Goethe's first novel, a romantic tragedy, inspired a wave of real-life suicides amongst Europe's upper classes. On ""The Rosie O'Donnell Show"" Goethe wants to talk about his newest work, an ambitious adaptation of Faust. Rosie wants to talk about his first big hit, The Sorrows of Werther, and the rabid fan reaction.
Haven't Seen
The Day The Island Stood Still
Episode 1 - 4-15-2002
It's the discovery of America from the perspective of the Americans who were discovered. The Arawak view of Columbus' arrival as a sharp parody of the black and white sci-fi classic The Day The Earth Stood Still. Technologically superior creatures arrive in fantastic ships to offer the natives things they'd never imagined, such as disease, slavery, and destruction of their way of life.
Haven't Seen
Season 3
The Shootout At Fly's Photographic Studio
Episode 24
The true facts behind the now mythical Shootout At The OK Corral, showing how the American media glamourized violence, and made heroes out of criminals as far back as the 1800's. Barbara Walters and the 20/20 team investigate the situation, while on other channels we see game shows, ads for dance hall girls, an infomercial for a vibrating girdle, and David Letterman's ""Top Ten Complaints About Tombstone Cops"".
Haven't Seen
There's Gold In Them Thar Beavers
Episode 23
Radisson & Groseilliers established an empire that eventually covered one twelfth of the earth's surface, ten times larger than the Holy Roman Empire. A dynasty built on rodent belly hair, The Hudson Bay Company. Then they got cheated out of their profits. Corporate monopolies, golden handshakes, and national conglomerates. It's the biggest business story of all time and Barbara Walters has exclusive interviews with these two amazing characters.
Haven't Seen
The First Emperor
Episode 22
The story of the world's first Emperor, a man who conquered Mesopotamia in 2500 BC and set the pattern for innumerable brutal bullies to come. Barbara Walters talks to the great man himself, while on other channels there's game shows, commercials, and zany comedian ""Tom Ak'Green"" dressing as a temple virgin and getting himself gutted.
Haven't Seen
Gladiators: Too Hot For TV
Episode 21
Is a woman's place at home tending the slaves, or can they break into this all-male, all-wild animal, all condemned criminal, all doomed Christian preserve? Girl gladiators? Novelty act, or the next big thing in entertainment?
Haven't Seen
When Irish Eyes Are Starvin'
Episode 20
The Great Irish Potato Famine caused a huge wave of immigrants to leave the old world for Canada (and the USA). It's a story of immigration and economics done as a telethon to raise money for food, or money to ship the Irish off to the new world. There are also on-the-street interviews with apathetic English citizens, and Larry King grills the politicians who did too little, too late.
Haven't Seen
A New Angle On The Gods
Episode 19
In Ancient Greece the sum of the square of the two sides equals the meaning of life as the cult of numbers expands geometrically. Will Pythagoras and his followers replace Mount Olympus with Mathematics? It's not science vs religion, it's science as religion on a special 20/20 investigative report on this strange new cult of numbers.
Haven't Seen
The Man Who Wouldn't Be King
Episode 18
The television profile of Oliver Cromwell, a harsh Puritan who had King Charles the first beheaded vows to bring Parliamentary democracy to England. Or else more heads will roll. The documentary shows Cromwell warts and all, at home and work. There's also parodies of Politically Incorrect, where the hot topic is, ""What should England do about the Jews?"" and a commercial for Puritan wash detergent which takes the colour out of life.
Haven't Seen
The Mountie's Comical Ride
Episode 17
The bumbling and disorganization behind the North West Mounted Police's great trek to the west, as the featured on the gritty reality series 'COPS'. It's a story of incompetence, and ignorance of the land, the natives, and the climate of Canada.
Haven't Seen
Saladin's Last Stand
Episode 16
The story of the man who stopped the Crusaders, a hero of Islam who was so respected by the invaders from Europe they figured he had to be a Christian. We follow the struggle for the heart and mind of a Crusader boy who's been captured by Saladin's followers. Interspersed with live news coverage of the hostage taking are Nightline interviews, Letterman's Top Ten, and reports on the progress of the Crusades.
Haven't Seen
Glengarry Glen Baa
Episode 15
As the Industrial Revolution began there was a huge demand for wool. And English landlords who owned vast tracts of Scotland discovered that sheep were more profitable than Scottish tenant-farmers. So the farmers were given the boot, and the sheep were given the fields. Ethnic cleansing for pasture? There are news reports, commercial parodies, and Larry King's lowdown on what's going on.
Haven't Seen
Monk On A Hot Tin Roof
Episode 14
A priest takes over Florence. He kicks out the Royalty, bans the church, claims only he has the ear of God and starts running things his way. The church fights back and after a series of challenges both sides agree to a trial by ordeal. Whoever walks on the fire and doesn't blister his feet is the winner. It's a live sports broadcast from the opening heresies to the sudden death deluge.
Haven't Seen
Alexander's Wartime Band
Episode 13
The story of the ambitious kid who built an empire that spanned the known world. He's the Bill Gates of 340 BC. Done as live coverage of a press conference to announce his latest acquisition in a hostile takeover, namely India. But the man who grabbed more land in less time than perhaps anyone in history is suddenly felled by a terrible disease: homesickness.
Haven't Seen
Between Me & My Calvin
Episode 12
Protestantism proves that it can be just as intolerant, narrow-minded, and politically motivated as the Catholic Church he was trying to replace. Judge Judy listens to both sides of a court case involving John Calvin and a French scholar who wants to be part of the new Protestant movement.
Haven't Seen
My Pharaoh Lady
Episode 11
In Ancient Egypt only men could become Pharaoh. And only men have beards. So that can't be a woman on the throne, cause she has a beard. Or rather, he has a beard. Hatshepsut, the ambitious and powerful ruler of the world's greatest Empire goes on the David Letterman show to explain why she's the woman who should be King. Meanwhile, her jealous nephew tells Barbara Walters that he should be wearing the beard. Even if he is too young to actually grown his own.
Haven't Seen
Neolithic Park
Episode 10
A look back 6000 years ago as humans discover agriculture, mining, and new tool making techniques. As hunting is replaced by agriculture, experts question the safety of ""Genetically Engineered"" food. A spoof on the issues of progress and technology facing our modern world.
Haven't Seen
Dracula's Evil Twin
Episode 9
The legend of Dracula was inspired by the life of medieval madman Vlad the Impaler, a Wallachian Prince who was actually far more frightening than any vampire. After banishment, punishment and disgrace, he's back and on the throne again! Barbara Walter talks to the monster who claims he has a good sense of humour and can bring law and order to his Balkan state. Plus reaction out on the street to the news that he's back.
Haven't Seen
Rebel With A Cause
Episode 8
The story of the trial and crucifixion of Jesus, told from the Roman perspective. To Christians it's the greatest tragedy and triumph. To the Romans, it's just another local political problem to be dealt with in the Roman Way. Harshly. Follow a special 20/20 investigation that delves deep into this new ""cult"" of Christianity.
Haven't Seen
The Duelling Transvestite
Episode 7
As the world shakes under political change and technological breakthroughs all anyone can talk about is the guy who might be a gal. The true, bizarre story of a French diplomat who suddenly announced he was a woman and blackmailed the King of France into buying him a closet full of ladies wear. Larry King talks to her in person, while other channels feed the media frenzy over this cross-dressing diplomat.
Haven't Seen
Goodbye Tudor Rose
Episode 6
The death of a much loved, in fact overly loved, royal. In a sly spoof of the media frenzy around another scandal plagued Royal, we look at Catherine Howard, Henry VIII's sixth. There's news coverage with reaction from ordinary citizens, palace spokesmen, her family, his family, and pretty much everyone else in England. The media frenzy that turns into a media circus.
Haven't Seen
Truth Or Prayer, The Crusade Tour
Episode 5
The Blonde Ambition Tour of the sexy and beautiful Queen of France, who goes to the Holy Land on a mission from God. Done as a parody of Madonna's movie Truth Or Dare, it's a medieval mockumentary that follows the crusading antics of the original ""Material Girl"".
Haven't Seen
Nero Business Like Show Business
Episode 4
Nowadays, show biz people are jumping into politics. In 65 AD the most powerful politician in the world wanted to be an entertainer. The story of a corrupt Emperor leading a corrupt government during a time of great economic prosperity as Nero guest stars on Late Night With David Letterman. Meanwhile over on 20/20, an investigation shows that Nero's budding show business career is killing actors more than audiences.
Haven't Seen
Battle Of The Anti-Popes
Episode 3
In 1490 there were two Popes in Europe, each claiming to be the one true leader of the Church, and each competing for power. A Television look at the great schism, as Larry King and news anchors interview the sparring Popes. The solution, a third Pope. It happened, and we're there live to cover the confusion.
Haven't Seen
The Captain Who Couldn't Sail Straight
Episode 2
The bizarre mutiny of Henry Hudson's crew and the trial of the survivors who made it back to England. Who's to blame? The crew men who made it home? Or the heroic Hudson. The hapless Hudson is played as Homer Simpson, and the voyage becomes a spoof of The Blair Witch Project.
Haven't Seen
Vikings ￃﾃￂﾠ la Mode
Episode 1
When the Vikings invaded France in 911, King Charles didn't call 911. He said, ""You want a ransom to leave my land? Forget it. Rule the land. See how you like it."" Suddenly the war lords had become landlords. Can fighters learn farming? Will home ownership civilize the Northmen?
Haven't Seen
Season 2
The End Of The World
Episode 26
If you think people are over reacting to the year 2000, wait till you see the terror of the original Millennium. There's something for everyone: Angles, Saxons, Vikings, Normans, Moors, and more! Plus live reports from around the world, where, believe it or not, other civilizations seem to have no idea that Judgement Day is here! It's the end of the world. Don't miss it.
Haven't Seen
The Gods Must Be Angry
Episode 25
The breaking story of one of the great disasters in History, the eruption of Mount Vesuvius that buried, and ultimatley preserved, the city of Pompeii. The historical facts are presented through an imaginary ancient Roman television broadcast.
Haven't Seen
Everything You Need To Know About God
Episode 24
In the fourth century both Christianity and the traditionally pagan Roman Empire are wracked by arguments over beliefs and dogma. Roman Emperor Constantine takes time out from reorganizing and rebuilding the Empire to gather the church's best and brightest together to decide on what's what with God. The decisions made under this former pagan leader will remain matters of faith for most of the Christian churches today.
Haven't Seen
Shakespeare In Love - Drake In Battle
Episode 23
The true story of Sir Francis Drake's famous victory over the Spanish Armada. As life coverage of the battle reveals, it's a combination of luck, strategy, and timing. It's covered as an unfolding news story with both nations waiting word as to who will be victorious. Elsewhere on the TV dial other programs and ads reveal the trials and tribulations of daily life in England, including the ""Top Ten Signs You're Entering a Renaissance"".
Haven't Seen
The King Has Left The Building
Episode 22
Catherine the Great ruled Russia with an firm hand. However she faced a lot of opposition from her dead husband, who kept reappearing, claiming he was still alive and ready to lead another army of rabble to reclaim his throne. The latest pretender to the throne is a short Russian, peasant named Pugachev who claims he is actually the tall, German, aristocrat Peter. Is he the serfs savior, or a Tsar impersonator?
Haven't Seen
The Pregnant Pirates
Episode 21
There are many wild tales involving the buccaneers of the high seas, but the capture and trial of two women pirates, Anne Bonney and Mary Read, has to be the most bizarre. Their trial captured public attention, but when the girls announce they are pregnancy, the standard punishment of the death penalty is up in the air.
Haven't Seen
The Tiananmen Square Of 532 A.D.
Episode 20
The western half of the Roman Empire has fallen a century before. But the eastern half, with it's capital in Constantinople, lived on for another thousand years. Emperor Justinian dreams of rebuilding the Empire, restoring the glory of Imperial Rome, and creating a lasting legacy of law and order. But his citizens are in revolt, demanding an end to the massive taxes for military spending. It's people power versus heavily armed Centurions. Guess who prevails?
Haven't Seen
Welcome To Oz
Episode 19
A crime wave, gangs of criminals, Oz, incarceration. No, it's not the TV drama ""Oz"", it's England in the 1780s! Crime is rampant, no one feels safe, and authorities are desperate to take back the streets. The result? Criminals sent to the ultimate in solitary confinement: the other side of the world.
Haven't Seen
Spartans, Get Ready To Rumble!
Episode 18
The first Battle of Thermopylae may well be the most lopsided confrontation in history. Tens of thousands of invading Persians run against 300 Spartans! Who will win? The answer may not surprise you. Done as a spoof of modern wrestling, this show explains the politics behind one of the most celebrated defeats in military history.
Haven't Seen
Invasion U.S.A.!
Episode 17
If you've seen the movie ""Independence Day"" you know how vulnerable Washington and the White House are to alien invaders. Well it's happened before, during the War of 1812 when, after American antagonism, British troops arrived from the north, sacked and burned the capital and then... took off back to Canada.
Haven't Seen
The Not-So-Great Wall Of China
Episode 16
The original Great Wall of China was not built with stone, but with dirt. Dirt and the dead bodies of a lot of workers, according to an ancient Oriental TV expose! It's 240 BC, and the Emperor Ch'in has united warring states into a new nation. It will be called China after him. Corpses, cover ups, and the fate of nations are inter-cut with channel surfing among programs and commercials that explore life in Ch'in's ancient China.
Haven't Seen
My Canada Includes Quebec
Episode 15
Canada's French/English debate heats up on the Plains of Abraham, as Montcalm and Wolfe try to prove who's more incompetent. Elsewhere, 18th century nerds show how to upgrade your hand-held computer, the slide rule.
Haven't Seen
Cleo Can Kiss My Asp
Episode 14
It's live coverage of the most infamous leadership race of the Roman Empire. Who will win the office of Emperor and power over the Empire? Will it be the power couple of Antony & Cleopatra? Or will it be the late Julius Caesar's heir, Octavian? See the candidates' ads. Hear the platforms. Then catch the results as the leadership campaign ends in a military campaign, and one of the greatest sea battles of all time.
Haven't Seen
Bulbs, Boom & Bust!
Episode 13
Do you think investing is risky these days? In the 1730's the Dutch freaked for flowers, and tulip bulbs became the hottest investment in the Netherlands. At the height of the madness a rare tulip bulb could be worth as much as a coach and four horses. Business reporters keep us up with the latest prices from the trading taverns, the financial experts review the pick of the crop, and then comes the most unusual stock market crash of the Millennium.
Haven't Seen
A Woman For All Seasons
Episode 12
Hildegarde Von Bingen is one of the bright lights of the Dark Ages. She even sees bright lights. Barbara Walters interviews with multi-talented church woman about her life and her miraculous visions. As well, Hildegarde talks about her music writing, her church writing, the church, and her surprisingly modern view of sex.
Haven't Seen
The Commander In Chief Is A Eunuch
Episode 11
In the fifteenth century, as Europe emerged from the Dark Ages, the world's biggest superpower was a world away, China. Their navy, the largest fleet in history, was showing the Chinese colours all over the Far East. And the man in command of this Oriental armada was Cheng Ho, a eunuch.
Haven't Seen
Worse Than Genghis Khan
Episode 10
Genghis Khan and his Mongol hordes are legendary. Yet few people today know about Tamerlane, the last and by far the worst of the horseback barbarians. Tune in to the news as his murdering Mongols conquer the Ottoman Empire. There's an exclusive interview with the deposed Ottoman Sultan, Bayezid, who is adjusting to his new life as Tamerlane's footstool.
Haven't Seen
Galileo Cops A Plea
Episode 9
Renaissance thinker Galileo Galilei is on trial for suggesting the sun is the center of the universe. And the old geezer cuts a deal with the DA (District Archbishop). We've got live updates on the heresy trial of the seventeenth century, panel discussions on what it all means for the peasant in the street, plus the reaction in the markets and market stalls.
Haven't Seen
Saying No To Terrorism
Episode 8
It's live news coverage of a breaking story. Mideast leader Moses threatens to bring plagues on the Egyptians until they let his people go, but the Pharaoh vows not to give in to ""terrorism"". Go up and down the ancient Egyptian television dial for a game show for slaves, a phone-in show on ""Home Mummification"" and for sports fans, the ultimate in extreme sports: Hippo Hunting!
Haven't Seen
The Sistine Ceiling
Episode 7
Michelangelo's biblical epic, a full-colour, wide-ceiling painting, premieres to astounded audiences and delighted critics. But there's controversy as this big picture has been four years in the making and gone way over budget. Entertainment reporters sample the audience, and find clerics complaining about the gratuitous nudity, and members of the public disappointed that the naked women look a lot like men.
Haven't Seen
The Big Sex Scandal
Episode 6
The leader of the world's most powerful nation is caught dallying with a woman half is age. Yes, it's King David and Bathsheba in ancient Israel. This sex scandal ends with murder, but the Judean jury acquits. As well there's sports tips on using your sling shot, and two thumbs up for the top grossing film of 1000BC, ""Raiders of the Lost Ark"".
Haven't Seen
The Celibate Celebrity Of 1429
Episode 5
The famous French maiden Jeanne d'Arc (Joan of Arc) opens up to Barbara Walters, before heading off to rally the French army to victory against the English invaders. On 'Seinfeld' Elaine follows a trend popular at the time, and decides she's a virgin too. David Letterman has the ""Top Ten Signs Your Commander is a Teenaged Girl"".
Haven't Seen
Operation Desert Crusade
Episode 4
Live News coverage as the first Crusaders reach Jerusalem and send everyone straight to a Christian heaven. Barbara Walters gets up close and personal with a marauding murderer, the Pope calls for blood, Martha Stewart shares tips on feeding Muslims, and a word from our sponsor, ""Feudal Express.""
Haven't Seen
Ransomed By Vikings
Episode 3
It's the hostage crisis of century, as the Scandinavian Mafia demand tons of silver for the Archbishop of Canterbury. In medieval Britain, Anglo-Saxons react with fear, terror and more fear, while their King Aethelred lives up to his nickname 'Aethelred the Unready'. It's live news coverage of the crisis, where the Vikings prove the old adage ""no guts, no glory"" using the Britons' guts.
Haven't Seen
Cartier Does Canada
Episode 2
After this triumphant return from the new world Jacques Cartier does Larry King and Barbara Walters to show of his native hostages, explain how the St. Lawrence River leads to India, and what to do with all the gold and diamonds that litter this new land.
Haven't Seen
Gutenberg's Laptop
Episode 1
Johannes Gutenberg was recently hailed as the most important man of the Millennium. After years of painstaking development he perfected his printing press, and then lost his life's work to his financial backer! Gutenberg and his opponent Johann Fust appear on Larry King, while on another channel, guests on ""Politically Heretical"" debate whether the printing press is the work of the devil.
Haven't Seen
Season 1
The Bloody Aztecs
Episode 13
The story of the fateful meeting between two warrior cultures, that started out peacefully, went from bad to worse, and ended in a running battle across the swamps on central Mexico. The Aztecs win the battle, but are doomed to lose the war. As well as news coverage of the Spaniards arrival we channel hop through Aztec sports, Televangelists, game shows, kid shows, ads for chocolate, and Martha Stewart's hints for Aztec homemakers.
Haven't Seen
The Battle Of Waterloo
Episode 12
It's Napoleonic news coverage of Bonaparte's last stand. This breaking story is covered in live updates from the confusion of the battlefield, in-depth analysis from military experts, and exclusive post-battle interviews with the winners. In between the war coverage we go channel surfing past 19th Century soap operas, game shows, Martha Stewart, Seinfeld, and commercials.
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Bjarney & Friends
Episode 11
Haven't Seen
The Spanish Inquisition
Episode 10
Nobody expects it. It's the infamous official witchhunt to end all witchhunts, as seen through news reports, stand-up comedians, Seinfeld, Jeopardy, exercise shows for expelling demons, and television ads for witch cures, ethnic cleanser, and ""prayer nuts.""
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The French Revolution
Episode 9
Set in the cruel climax of the French Revolution, this episode explores the death of famed firebrand Robespierre. After running out of fat aristocrats and corrupt church officials to behead, the mobs began to turn on each other. While the news networks report on Robespierre's final hours, other channels offer Martha Stewart, game shows, ads for divorce lawyers, tooth paste made from urine, and the perfect skin care product: arsenic!
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Pure Vandalism
Episode 8
The Vandals, barbarians from Northern Europe, had already conquered the Roman Empire to the South and East. In the year 455 AD, they arrived at the gates of Rome, ready to sack the city. They weren't the first barbarian tribe to take Rome, and they wouldn't be the last, but they obviously made quite an impression: ""Vandalism"" is still a nasty word.
Haven't Seen
Magna Carta
Episode 7
It's power politics at it's most dangerous, and the beginning of democracy as we know it. The medieval media cover the signing of the Magna Carta, and explain it's significance for both barons and serfs. This episode also includes television parodies of The Antiques Roadshow, stand-up comedians, Seinfeld, and a rather nasty kids show.
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The Declaration Of Independence
Episode 6
The Declaration of Independence was one of history's greatest documents. It was also a dangerous one to have your name on. Television reporters are there when the final draft is finished, then wait to see who will dare put their John Hancock on this revolutionary treatise.
Haven't Seen
Charlemagne
Episode 5
The story of one of the great lights of the Dark Ages. Charlemagne, the greatest European king of the his century, ends his century with an unexpected bonus: he is crowned Emperor of Rome by the Pope. Is it pious papacy or power politics?
Haven't Seen
Great Fire Of London
Episode 4
Throughout history great cities all over the world have had one thing in common: burning down now and then. The fire that scorched most of central London in 1666 was particularly well documented by writers and historians of the time. A small fire that the Lord Mayor actually claimed could be ""pissed out by a woman"" turns into a vast inferno that destroyed thousands of homes and businesses as well as scores of churches and public buildings.
6.7/10Haven't Seen
Dead Philosopher Walking
Episode 3
The troublemaker who has upset so many apple carts, gets his punishment: death by Hemlock. As Athenian news anchors update us on great man's last hours, government officials and friends of the condemned Socrates argue who's to blame for this tragedy. In between we channel surf through stand-up comedians, movie reviews, a Greek Soap Opera, Don Cherry on the merits of nude athletes, and a medical ad by Hippocrates.
Haven't Seen
Caligula Is Croaked
Episode 2
He's incompetent, insane, incestuous, and in charge. A Roman reign of terror ends with news coverage of the death of Emperor Caligula. As we scan the TV dial we see ancient Romans playing Jeopardy, Martha Stewart's orgy tips, infomercials, The Dating Game, plus commercials for professional concubines, Caligula's newest album, and pet food that's 100% condemned criminals.
7.1/10Haven't Seen
The Black Death
Episode 1 - 10-01-1998
The greatest medical disaster in Western History is seen through the eyes of television. Featuring news updates on the spread of the plague, as well as How-To shows on avoiding the plague, Martha Stewart's plague tips, a Dating Game to help repopulate the empty countryside, and Letterman's Top Ten Recruiting Slogans of the Flagellants.
6.6/10Haven't Seen
Top 5 Highest Rated Episodes 8.8/10
7.1/10 6.7/10 6.6/10
The Osborgias
Episode 1 - 4-17-2004
A dysfunctional family (The Borgias) who bullied their way into the Papacy and almost destroyed the Catholic church with their scandalous vices; A deadly parody of The Osbournes, following Pope Alexander as he battles with his favourite mistress and most important bastard children.
8.8/10Haven't Seen
Caligula Is Croaked
Episode 2
He's incompetent, insane, incestuous, and in charge. A Roman reign of terror ends with news coverage of the death of Emperor Caligula. As we scan the TV dial we see ancient Romans playing Jeopardy, Martha Stewart's orgy tips, infomercials, The Dating Game, plus commercials for professional concubines, Caligula's newest album, and pet food that's 100% condemned criminals.
7.1/10Haven't Seen
Great Fire Of London
Episode 4
Throughout history great cities all over the world have had one thing in common: burning down now and then. The fire that scorched most of central London in 1666 was particularly well documented by writers and historians of the time. A small fire that the Lord Mayor actually claimed could be ""pissed out by a woman"" turns into a vast inferno that destroyed thousands of homes and businesses as well as scores of churches and public buildings.
6.7/10Haven't Seen
The Black Death
Episode 1 - 10-01-1998
The greatest medical disaster in Western History is seen through the eyes of television. Featuring news updates on the spread of the plague, as well as How-To shows on avoiding the plague, Martha Stewart's plague tips, a Dating Game to help repopulate the empty countryside, and Letterman's Top Ten Recruiting Slogans of the Flagellants.
6.6/10Haven't Seen
