Kirk

Elizabeth's kind invitation to let the Hartmans sit out a heat wave at her parents' beach house does not, of course, work out exactly as planned.

Corey & his friends win a night on the town in a chauffeur drivin limo.

When Elizabeth's apartment is damaged by a fire, Kirk insists that she move in with him and the kids while her place is being repaired. Unfortunately, Kirk and she discover just how different they really are. Elizabeth insists on cleaning and organizing everything, while Kirk hates being neat. Just before Kirk's surprise birthday party the two get into a fight, and Elizabeth leaves. Later, they apologize to each other and kiss. Kirk decides that being different may not be completely bad.

Kirk finally convinces Elizabeth to go on a dinner date with him. Unfortunately, it's on the same night at Russell's school play. Kirk attempts to make each of them happy by trying to be in both places at once. However, Elizabeth is impressed that Kirk cares so much for his siblings. At the end of the evening, Kirk and Elizabeth share their first kiss together.

The Hartmans' hopes of beating the Balduccis in a bowling tournament go down the gutter when teammate Sally hurts her back -- but it only gets worse when Elizabeth replaces her. After Sally, an excellent bowler on Kirk's team, hurts her back, Kirk gets Elizabeth to replace her. Unfortunately, he soon realizes that Elizabeth is a terrible bowler. When the team asks Kirk to terminate Elizabeth, Kirk must choose between possibly winning the league championship or being unkind to Elizabeth.

Kirk sets Russell straight when the tyke things he got a girl pregnant just by kissing here, but Kirk's unprepared for the parenting rite of passage when Russ asks where babies come from. When Russell asks Kirk where babies come from, Kirk is reluctant to teach him about sex. Nervous, Kirk makes up an outrageous story to explain it, telling him that babies come from rainbows. Later, Russell gets beaten up at school for repeating the story. Finally, Kirk tries to tell Russell the truth, but Russell is no longer interested. Meanwhile, Phoebe tricks Eddie and makes him appear foolish while he's on a date. In order to get revenge, Eddie tries to help Corey annoy Phoebe by entering a better project than Phoebe at a science fair.

After Kirk chases a mugger away from a wealthy woman, she showers Kirk with gifts and gives him a chance to meet people in the art world; but Eddie paints a very different picture of the woman's motives. Kirk saves a wealthy, middle-aged art patron, Sabrina Young from being robbed by a mugger. She is so grateful that she gives Kirk lots of expensive gifts and offers to promote his drawings at a big party at her apartment. Kirk belittles the gifts, thinking that people should just do good deeds without expecting any reward. He doesn't believe Eddie's warning that Sabrina is probably just trying to seduce him. There are no guests when Kirk arrives at the party. Sabrina promises Kirk a surprise, and Kirk assumes Eddie was right. He feels cheapened and angrily takes off the tuxedo Sabrina bought him to show that she can't manipulate him into sleeping with her. After Sabrina shows him the surprise, a beautiful frame on his drawing, the upscale guests start arriving. Unfortunately, Kirk is s

Russell develops an attraction to his pretty teacher, Leslie Stevens. Kirk tries to tell him to be realistic, but when Leslie asks Kirk out to lunch, Russell gets jealous. Russell gets Elizabeth to take him to the same restaurant as Kirk and Leslie, so Kirk will be jealous of him. Kirk frantically tries to explain the situation to Leslie and Elizabeth, but the women pity Russell and tell Kirk to leave. Meanwhile, after Corey gambles and loses several possessions in a one-on-one basketball game with an expert player, Zack, former junior high school basketball star Phoebe wins everything back for Corey with a few trick shots. Also, Eddie earns money by taking an experimental drug until his face turns fluorescent orange.

Kirk wants to enter his cartoon drawings in a comic book contest. To finish the work before the deadline, he needs the kids to be quiet and leave him alone. Russell feels neglected when his well-intentioned attempts to help are unappreciated by Kirk. The night before Kirk's drawings are due, Russell accidentally vomits on them. Kirk struggles with his emotions over the lost opportunity and his concern for Russell's feelings.

Kirk decides not to make Corey baby-sit for his younger siblings because Corey has a special homework assignment. But with no one to care for them, Kirk is forced to bring Russell and Phoebe with him on his first date in New York City. The kids get tickets for a children's movie next door to the movie theater where Kirk and his date are. While trying to watch the movie with his date, Kirk sees Corey at the same movie with a date. Angry that Corey's not studying, Kirk insists Corey go to the other theater to watch his siblings. Unfortunately, Corey cannot find the kids and interrupts Kirk. They finally realize that Phoebe and Russell have sneaked into the movie where the adults are.

Kirk's middle-aged landlady sympathizes with her tenant but has no intention of helping Kirk, while his gorgeous neighbor, third-year medical student Elizabeth Waters, prefers to ignore Kirk's romantic advances in favor of her medical books. Extricating himself from the scheming antics of his pal, Eddie Balducci, Kirk gamely struggles to find time for his own life.