Two and a Half Men
(2003)Streaming Episode Guide
Season 12 | Season 11 | Season 10 | Season 9 | Season 8 | Season 7 | Season 6 | Season 5 | Season 4 | Season 3 | Season 2 | Season 1 | Specials | Top 5 Episodes
Season 12
Of Course He's Dead (2)
Episode 16 - 2-19-2015
Charlie Harper is alive. Or is he?
Where to watch
Haven't Seen
Of Course He's Dead (1)
Episode 15 - 2-19-2015
38m
Charlie Harper is alive. Or is he?
3.8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
Episode 14 - 2-12-2015
20m
After they sign their divorce papers, Walden offers Alan the gift of his choice, but when Alan chooses something selfish and impractical, it puts his relationship with Lyndsey on the line.
5.7/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Boompa Loved His Hookers
Episode 13 - 2-05-2015
20m
Walden fears if he breaks up with Ms. McMartin, it will jeopardize his adoption of Louis. Also, Alan hesitates when Lyndsey asks him to move in with her.
5.7/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
A Beer-Battered Rip-Off
Episode 12 - 1-29-2015
22m
When Alan breaks up with their social worker to get back together with Lyndsey, Walden worries it will affect Louis’ adoption.
6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
For Whom the Booty Calls
Episode 11 - 1-22-2015
21m
Walden joins a group for adoptive fathers, and finds it to be a nice escape from Alan.
5.6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Here I Come, Pants!
Episode 10 - 1-15-2015
21m
Alan takes it upon himself to help Walden keep Louis after the social worker discovers he and Walden are not really a gay couple.
5.9/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
Episode 9 - 1-08-2015
21m
Walden discovers how challenging it is to be intimate with women when his foster son, Louis, is in the house. Also, Herb asks Alan if he can go on a date with Lyndsey.
5.8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey
Episode 8 - 12-17-2014
20m
Alan and Walden attempt to convince Louis that Santa Claus is real.
5.6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
Episode 7 - 12-09-2014
21m
Alan and Walden befriend three moms at a kids’ gym, but things get complicated when Walden becomes attracted to one of them. Alan goes out for a girls’ night with a group of moms.
6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Alan Shot a Little Girl
Episode 6 - 12-03-2014
21m
Alan breaks Walden's rules when he realizes that Louis thinks he's cool, and he wants it to stay that way.
5.4/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
Episode 5 - 11-26-2014
22m
Walden becomes a foster parent to a 6-year-old boy, but worries about himself when they don't hit it off like he hoped.
5.3/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
Episode 4 - 11-19-2014
21m
A birth mother considers having Walden and Alan adopt her baby.
5.6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Glamping in a Yurt
Episode 3 - 11-12-2014
21m
Alan and Walden have a meeting with an adoption social worker that hinges on them being convincing as a loving couple. Lyndsey returns after 60 days in rehab.
5.5/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
A Chic Bar in Ibiza
Episode 2 - 11-05-2014
21m
Alan has second thoughts about getting married after he's asked to sign a pre-nup.
5.3/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
The Ol' Mexican Spinach
Episode 1 - 10-29-2014
22m
After a health scare on Halloween, Walden decides he needs to change his life.
5.3/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Season 11
Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
Episode 22 - 5-08-2014
22m
Alan must face the consequences after revealing his identity to Larry.
6.6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
Episode 21 - 5-01-2014
21m
Alan's girlfriend, Gretchen, insists he confess his true identity to Larry. Meanwhile, Walden goes on a road trip with Jenny and Barry to see his first car.
6.1/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
Episode 20 - 4-24-2014
22m
Alan finds an opportunity to make money; Walden addresses his co-dependency issues.
7.2/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang
Episode 19 - 4-10-2014
21m
After reconnecting with Kate, Walden becomes convinced she is the one for him -- until he meets a woman named Vivian (Mila Kunis).
7.1/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
West Side Story
Episode 18 - 4-03-2014
20m
Walden gets an invitation to his ex-girlfriend's boutique opening. Meanwhile, Gretchen wants to spend more time at Alan's (a.k.a. Jeff Strongman) house.
6.6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Welcome Home, Jake
Episode 17 - 3-13-2014
20m
Lyndsey finds out about Alan's relationship with Gretchen; Walden has a difficult time telling Barry to find his own place.
6.6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
Episode 16 - 3-06-2014
21m
Walden thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him; Alan starts dating Larry's sister, Gretchen (Kimberly Williams-Paisley).
6.6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
Episode 15 - 2-27-2014
30m
Alan asks Lyndsey to choose between him and Larry; Jenny worries that she and Brooke are growing apart.
6.2/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe
Episode 14 - 2-06-2014
22m
Alan finds out that Lyndsey broke up with Larry without telling him; Walden tries to prove he is a man's man.
6.3/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Bite Me, Supreme Court
Episode 13 - 1-30-2014
22m
Marty Pepper (Carl Reiner) proposes to Evelyn; Alan and Walden plan a bachelor party for Marty.
6.2/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
Episode 12 - 1-09-2014
22m
Lyndsey's boyfriend sets Alan up on a date; Walden wants to help Nicole with her project so she will have time to date him.
6.3/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Tazed in the Lady Nuts
Episode 11 - 1-02-2014
21m
Walden joins his beautiful former employee on a brilliant new project. Meanwhile, Alan advises Jenny to open up to her girlfriend or risk losing her.
6.5/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
Episode 10 - 12-12-2013
22m
Jake sends Alan a Japanese delicacy; the house comes alive with questionable Christmas lyrics.
6.4/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
Episode 9 - 12-05-2013
22m
Walden goes on a date with an accident-prone model; Alan's date reveals surprising personal information about herself to him.
6.1/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
Episode 8 - 11-21-2013
21m
Alan and Lyndsey’s illicit affair puts Walden in danger, forcing him to accept Rose’s help.
6.2/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
Episode 7 - 11-14-2013
22m
Walden and Alan find themselves on dates with two ideal women until Lyndsey's jealousy throws a wrench in their evening.
6.5/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
Episode 6 - 11-07-2013
19m
When Alan learns Walden knows Lynda Carter, he asks him to set him up on a date with her. Against his better judgment, Walden agrees to invite her to the house for dinner.
6.2/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
Episode 5 - 10-24-2013
20m
Alan tries to find out what Lyndsey's boyfriend has over him; Walden helps Jenny pursue her acting career.
6.4/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
Episode 4 - 10-17-2013
22m
Alan and Lyndsey's illicit relationship becomes jeopardized when one of Lyndsey's man-hunting friends, Stephanie (Jennifer Aspen), asks if they are back together. The two staunchly deny it, then Lyndsey insists that Alan make a date with Stephanie so that she will believe their lie. Alan meets her for an uncomfortable date, which nevertheless leads to sex, causing Lyndsey to get mad and leave Alan again.
6.3/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
This Unblessed Biscuit
Episode 3 - 10-10-2013
21m
Walden and Alan think it may be time for Berta to retire when she injures her back at work. When they suggest her retiring, she grows offended, and as the conversation progresses she quits. Walden and Alan then try different maids, with little success.
6.1/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
Episode 2 - 10-03-2013
20m
Jenny moves in with Evelyn and her wealthy boyfriend, Marty (Carl Reiner).
6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Nangnangnangnang
Episode 1 - 9-26-2013
21m
Charlie's 25-year-old daughter arrives at the beach house, hoping to get to know her family.
6.1/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Season 10
Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
Episode 23 - 5-09-2013
22m
Walden dates an attractive 22-year-old (Hilary Duff), but ends up being more interested in her grandmother (Marilu Henner); Jake and Alan go on a trip.
6.4/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
My Bodacious Vidalia
Episode 22 - 5-02-2013
21m
With encouragement from Walden, Alan decides to update his look; Alan is faced with a moral dilemma when he attracts a married woman.
6.4/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Another Night With Neil Diamond
Episode 21 - 4-25-2013
20m
Alan has a difficult time coping when Lyndsey breaks up with him.
6.3/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Bazinga! That's From a TV Show
Episode 20 - 4-04-2013
21m
Walden and Alan are caught in the crossfire when Jake cheats on his girlfriend (Jaime Pressly) with her 18-year-old daughter.
6.9/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon
Episode 19 - 3-14-2013
22m
Alan and Walden end up partying too hard as they try to cheer up Herb.
6.8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
The 9:04 from Pemberton
Episode 18 - 3-07-2013
22m
After a fight with Walden, Alan decides to move in with Herb.
6.4/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
Episode 17 - 2-21-2013
22m
When Walden runs into his ex and they start talking about getting back together, Alan worries that she is not good enough.
6.3/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
Episode 16 - 2-14-2013
20m
Depressed on Valentine's Day, Walden tries to talk Kate into giving him another chance; Alan's holiday plans go south.
6.3/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
Episode 15 - 2-07-2013
21m
When Jake brings his 36-year-old girlfriend home for a visit, Alan is concerned; Walden tries to hide something from Alan.
6.8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Run, Steven Staven! Run!
Episode 14 - 1-31-2013
22m
Alan is faced with relationship trouble when he does not give Lyndsey a key to the beach house; Walden, Alan, Herb and Billy commiserate about relationships.
6.6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Grab a Feather and Get in Line
Episode 13 - 1-10-2013
22m
Alan and Walden go to Kate's fashion show in New York so Walden can reveal the truth about his identity.
5.6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Welcome to Alancrest
Episode 12 - 1-03-2013
22m
Alan invests Walden's money in Kate's fashion line; leading a double life takes its toll on Walden.
6.3/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Give Santa a Tail-Hole
Episode 11 - 12-13-2012
22m
Walden juggles his two identities; Alan ends up alone on Christmas.
6.8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
One Nut Johnson
Episode 10 - 12-06-2012
22m
Alan helps Walden create a new identity so he can avoid women who are only interested in his money.
7/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
I Scream When I Pee
Episode 9 - 11-29-2012
20m
Alans famous ex-wife, Kandi, wants to reconcile; when Berta isn't interested in celebrating her birthday, Walden tries to make her day special.
7/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Something My Gynecologist Said
Episode 8 - 11-15-2012
22m
Alan feels reluctant to make a commitment to Lyndsey, but an unexpected source inspires him; Walden enjoys being the boy-toy of a wealthy older woman.
6.6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Avoid the Chinese Mustard
Episode 7 - 11-08-2012
22m
When Walden gets tired of the complications that come with a traditional relationship, he hires an actress to be his girlfriend; Jake plans a rendezvous with Missi (Miley Cyrus) at the beach house.
6.3/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Ferrets, Attack!
Episode 6 - 11-01-2012
21m
Walden must choose between Zoey and Rose.
6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
Episode 5 - 10-25-2012
20m
Despite Alan's warnings, Walden starts dating Rose.
6.5/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For
Episode 4 - 10-18-2012
21m
Walden starts to feel his age when a friend's daughter comes to town.
6.5/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
Episode 3 - 10-11-2012
22m
Alan and Lyndsey decide to spice things up in the bedroom.
6.1/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
A Big Bag of Dog
Episode 2 - 10-04-2012
21m
Zoey and Walden break up, causing Walden to experience a breakdown.
6.3/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
I Changed My Mind About the Milk
Episode 1 - 9-27-2012
22m
Walden plans a big surprise for Zoey's birthday.
6.1/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Season 9
Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
Episode 24 - 5-14-2012
22m
Jake is pressured to make a decision about his future.
6.4/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
The Straw in My Donut Hole
Episode 23 - 5-07-2012
22m
Alan is showered with love and affection upon returning from the hospital, but Zoey isn’t so sure it’s deserved.
5.7/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Why We Gave Up Women
Episode 22 - 4-30-2012
22m
Charlie's ghost pays a visit to Alan after he suffers a minor heart attack.
6.3/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'
Episode 21 - 4-16-2012
30m
Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey
6.2/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Grandma's Pie
Episode 20 - 4-09-2012
22m
Walden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Alan and Lyndsey try to cope with their mom's relationship.
6.1/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Palmdale, Ech
Episode 19 - 3-19-2012
22m
Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers. Jake and Eldridge get a ride from Walden to a party.
6.3/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
The War Against Gingivitis
Episode 18 - 2-27-2012
22m
Walden's ex-business partner shows up at the beach house looking to make peace.
5.7/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Not in My Mouth!
Episode 17 - 2-20-2012
20m
Walden and Zoey's relationship suffers after they share a near-death experience. Meanwhile, Alan wonders if Lyndsey has a drinking problem.
5.5/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
Episode 16 - 2-13-2012
20m
Strained relationships and girl-fighting result when a huge storm traps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lyndsey in the house on Valentine's Day.
6.6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
Episode 15 - 2-06-2012
22m
Walden tries to loosen Zooey up by sharing some of Berta's special brownies.
6.4/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
A Possum on Chemo
Episode 14 - 1-16-2012
21m
Zoey tries to convince Walden to cut his hair and shave; Alan and Lyndsey revive their relationship.
6.4/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
Episode 13 - 1-02-2012
21m
Walden’s ex-wife and mother try to take control of his company, so he turns to Alan for help.
6.6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
One False Move, Zimbabwe!
Episode 12 - 12-12-2011
22m
Walden's mother arrives and Alan is smitten with her, even as she reveals a secret about Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.
5.7/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
What a Lovely Landing Strip
Episode 11 - 12-05-2011
21m
Walden is trying his best to impress his new love interest when Bridget reappears in his life.
6.3/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
Episode 10 - 11-21-2011
30m
Walden hits it off with a British babe, but neither of them is sure he's ready to re-enter the dating world.
6.2/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Frodo's Headshots
Episode 9 - 11-14-2011
30m
Upon his release from the hospital, Alan is met with a slew of challenges that test his ability to cope.
6.4/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Thank You for the Intercourse
Episode 8 - 11-07-2011
30m
When Walden begins redecorating the beach house, Alan becomes overly emotional.
6.6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
Episode 7 - 10-31-2011
30m
Jake has a crush on his chemistry tutor, who has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile, Alan obsesses over the journal his brother left him in his will.
5.9/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
The Squat and the Hover
Episode 6 - 10-24-2011
30m
Walden receives divorce papers from Bridget, but forgets his depression when he meets a girl who looks eerily like her.
5.6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
Episode 5 - 10-17-2011
30m
Alan has trouble accepting Lyndsey's seedy movie past, and Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing a party.
5.8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Nine Magic Fingers
Episode 4 - 10-10-2011
30m
Walden goes looking for Mrs. Right while Alan has an opportunity to reconcile with Lyndsey.
5.7/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Big Girls Don't Throw Food
Episode 3 - 10-03-2011
30m
Alan prepares Walden for a date with Bridget, while Jake decides to emulate Walden and drop out of school.
5.3/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
People Who Love Peepholes
Episode 2 - 9-26-2011
30m
Walden deals with his ex-wife, Bridget.
5.3/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
Episode 1 - 9-19-2011
30m
Alan and Jake meet Walden Schmidt, a broken-hearted billionaire.
5.5/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Season 8
That Darn Priest
Episode 16 - 2-14-2011
30m
Rose and Alan discover each other's secrets. Meanwhile, Charlie's desperate to get some time alone with Rose.
7.5/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
Episode 15 - 2-07-2011
22m
While Charlie and Rose carry on their "affair," Alan's chiropractic business turns into a Ponzi scheme.
8.1/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Lookin' for Japanese Subs
Episode 14 - 1-17-2011
30m
Obsessed and believing her to be married, Charlie starts stalking Rose. Jake and Eldridge start taping themselves doing Jackass-style stunts.
7.7/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
Episode 13 - 1-03-2011
21m
Alan feels paranoid when Lyndsey becomes friendly with Charlie.
7.6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
Episode 12 - 12-13-2010
21m
Depressed after his breakup from Courtney (Jenny McCarthy), Charlie goes to see his psychiatrist (Jane Lynch).
7.2/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Dead from the Waist Down
Episode 11 - 12-06-2010
22m
Alan goes to great lengths to be able to get Lyndsey a nice birthday present.
7.4/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
Episode 10 - 11-22-2010
30m
When Charlie's ex-girlfriend Courtney is released from prison, he treats her to the good life despite her having been in prison for conning him.
7.4/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
A Good Time in Central Africa
Episode 9 - 11-15-2010
22m
When Berta takes a couple of days off, Charlie falls for her replacement. Meanwhile, Alan believes he's being stalked by Lyndsey's ex-husband.
8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Springtime on a Stick
Episode 8 - 11-08-2010
22m
Charlie and Alan try to set up Evelyn with Russell the pharmacist.
7.7/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
The Crazy Bitch Gazette
Episode 7 - 11-01-2010
20m
Charlie's girlfriend gets fed up with his stalker, Rose.
7.7/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Twanging Your Magic Clanger
Episode 6 - 10-25-2010
22m
Charlie has difficulty dealing with dating a slightly older woman.
8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
Episode 5 - 10-18-2010
22m
Alan pretends to be Charlie when he goes out on the town; Charlie sneaks off for cosmetic surgery.
7.7/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
Episode 4 - 10-11-2010
22m
Lyndsey and Eldridge move into Charlie's house after their home burns down.
8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
A Pudding-Filled Cactus
Episode 3 - 10-04-2010
21m
After moving in with Lyndsey, Alan continues to have a rendezvous with Melissa at Charlie's house.
7.8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
Episode 2 - 9-27-2010
22m
Charlie is willing to do anything for Alan to accept Lyndsey's offer to move in with her.
7.9/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
Episode 1 - 9-20-2010
22m
When Jake finds out that Alan has been dating Eldridge's mom, he packs up and heads to Judith and Herb's. Meanwhile, Charlie decides it's time to cut back on boozing.
8.4/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Season 7
This Is Not Gonna End Well
Episode 22 - 5-24-2010
21m
Charlie is miffed over Alan's planned attendance of Chelsea's birthday party and suffers the indignity of having Jake chauffer him around following a license suspension.
7.8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Gumby with a Pokey
Episode 21 - 5-17-2010
22m
Charlie is visited by the ghosts of his ex-girlfriends while Alan and Jake are on a road trip.
8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
I Called Him Magoo
Episode 20 - 5-10-2010
22m
Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend, while Charlie takes a different approach to obtain the "girlfriend experience"
7.6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
Episode 19 - 4-12-2010
19m
Alan is torn between the bad influence of Jake's new friend and the hotness of his mother.
7.7/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Ixnay on the Oggie Day
Episode 18 - 3-22-2010
22m
Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient.
8.2/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
I Found Your Moustache
Episode 17 - 3-08-2010
22m
Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand.
7.4/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Tinkle Like a Princess
Episode 16 - 3-01-2010
22m
Charlie runs off to Vegas and returns with a new wife, but she's not Chelsea.
7.6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2)
Episode 15 - 2-08-2010
22m
Chelsea and Charlie's relationship is at risk when Charlie's jealousy comes between them.
7.6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Crude and Uncalled For (1)
Episode 14 - 2-01-2010
22m
Charlie suspects Chelsea likes the lawyer representing Alan after his arrest for a bar fight.
7.5/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Yay, No Polyps!
Episode 13 - 1-18-2010
21m
Charlie opts to have a colonoscopy in order to avoid going on a trip with Chelsea to see her parents. However, when he returns home, he finds her parents at his house.
7.8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
Episode 12 - 1-11-2010
22m
Jake hopes to win back Celeste by writing her love songs. Alan and Herb hope to keep Judith from finding out they've become friends.
7.8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Warning, It's Dirty
Episode 11 - 12-14-2009
20m
Jake is taught the art of infidelity by Charlie, while Celeste is away for Christmas.
8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
That's Why They Call It Ball Room
Episode 10 - 12-07-2009
20m
Chelsea wants Charlie to take dancing lessons for the wedding, when Charlie uncovers the truth that Chelsea has been lying about her finances.
7.9/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
Episode 9 - 11-23-2009
21m
While Alan struggles to cure his baldness, Charlie deals with the problem that he can't satisfy Chelsea.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
Episode 8 - 11-16-2009
21m
While overcoming a bad break-up, Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate to stay at the house.
8.5/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Untainted by Filth
Episode 7 - 11-09-2009
22m
Alan and Charlie are shocked when they wake up next to a strange woman, and try to find out what happened.
7.9/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Give Me Your Thumb
Episode 6 - 11-02-2009
21m
Alan's advice to Chelsea that she get breast-reduction surgery is not met with enthusiasm by Charlie, who kicks him out, but staying with Evelyn has its own challenges.
7.9/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
For the Sake of the Child
Episode 5 - 10-19-2009
22m
Jake stops at nothing to get away from Charlie and Alan, after they embarrass him out in public.
7.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
Episode 4 - 10-12-2009
21m
Alan starts working for Evelyn as Charlie works to fix the relationship between Chelsea and Jake.
7.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Mmm, Fish. Yum.
Episode 3 - 10-05-2009
20m
Alan ends up playing maid to Judith's new baby as well as his former mother-in-law. Meanwhile, Jake uses an incriminating photo to blackmail Charlie.
7.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Whipped Unto the Third Generation
Episode 2 - 9-28-2009
21m
When Chelsea convinces Charlie to let Alan's new girlfriend, Melissa, move in, the girls end up taking over Charlie's house.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
818-jklpuzo
Episode 1 - 9-21-2009
22m
Charlie must make a difficult decision about his future and with which woman he wants to spend his life: Chelsea or Mia.
8.1/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Season 6
Baseball Was Better with Steroids
Episode 24 - 5-18-2009
22m
Charlie starts to question his relationship with Chelsea when he hears that Mia is back in town. Meanwhile, Judith goes into labor and Charlie, Alan and Herb rush her to the hospital, on the sixth season finale.
8.3/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
Episode 23 - 5-11-2009
21m
Alan and Chelsea become best buds, and Charlie decides to take advantage of the situation.
7.7/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
Episode 22 - 5-04-2009
21m
Charlie mourns the loss of his bachelor pad as he reluctantly allows Chelsea to move in. Meanwhile, Alan discovers there is no longer much space left in the house for him.
7.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Above Exalted Cyclops
Episode 21 - 4-27-2009
22m
Chelsea is asked by Alan to arrange a blind date between he and her new friend, unaware that her new friend is Rose.
8.1/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau
Episode 20 - 4-13-2009
22m
Charlie's desperate to make sure Chelsea and Evelyn don't befriend each other following their first meeting.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
The Two Finger Rule
Episode 19 - 3-30-2009
21m
After Chelsea discovers a nude picture of another woman on Charlie's cell phone, he blows off steam by going out for a night of drinking with Alan, Herb and his neighbor.
8.7/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
My Son's Enormous Head
Episode 18 - 3-16-2009
22m
Chelsea's illness gives Charlie a chance to prove he can take care of her, but also yearning to run away from the situation.
7.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?
Episode 17 - 3-09-2009
21m
Charlie's admission that he's in love with Chelsea gets a surprising reaction from her
7.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime
Episode 16 - 3-02-2009
21m
Charlie has to remove a half-naked woman from his bedroom before Chelsea arrives.
8.2/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
I'd Like to Start With the Cat
Episode 15 - 2-09-2009
22m
Charlie ends up in couples counseling.
7.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
Episode 14 - 2-02-2009
30m
Melissa doesn't think Alan's family appreciates him, so she asks him to move in with her and her mom.
8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
I Think You Offended Don
Episode 13 - 1-19-2009
22m
Judith is pregnant with a baby girl and Alan is convinced he is the father.
7.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Thank God for Scoliosis
Episode 12 - 1-12-2009
21m
Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress, while Alan fights sexual tension with his receptionist.
8.1/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
The Devil's Lube
Episode 11 - 12-15-2008
22m
Charlie finds himself re-examining his wild ways when an old friend dies and begins to feel that his time on Earth may be drawing to a close.
7.7/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
Episode 10 - 12-08-2008
21m
Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, and Alan becomes listless because he has no compelling reason to work anymore, while Jake discovers a hidden talent in the culinary arts that may allow him to bypass college altogether.
7.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
The Mooch at the Boo
Episode 9 - 11-24-2008
22m
Charlie finds himself in an uncomfortable position when Jake takes off with the daughter of a former NFL player. Charlie's Mercedes proves a boon to Alan's love life.
8.5/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Pinocchio's Mouth
Episode 8 - 11-17-2008
22m
Charlie's new girlfriend Chelsea asks him to spend the night at her place, which puts Charlie well outside of his comfort zone, while Alan tries to enforce a punishment on Jake initiated by Judith for mooning a group of girls.
7.7/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Best H.O. Money Can Buy
Episode 7 - 11-10-2008
22m
Alan tries to escape Judith's grasp as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl to pick up women. They later end up going back to Herb's hotel room with two prostitutes, where Herb declares his love for Judith and races over to win her back.
7.9/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
It's Always Nazi Week
Episode 6 - 11-03-2008
22m
When Judith kicks Herb to the curb, Alan comes knocking; Jake is sent to stay with a less-than-willing Charlie for three months during Judith's meltdown.
8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
A Jock Strap in Hell
Episode 5 - 10-20-2008
22m
Charlie tries to help Jake's former teacher, who became a stripper after dating him, but things go from bad to worse when she has a religious conversion.
7.5/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
The Flavin' and the Mavin'
Episode 4 - 10-13-2008
21m
Alan is sure that things will turn bad when Charlie starts dating his receptionist.
7.7/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Damn You, Eggs Benedict
Episode 3 - 10-06-2008
21m
Alan, Jake, and Charlie all decide to try new things: Alan is dating more than one woman, Charlie learns to cook, and Jake experiments with beer.
7.9/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Pie Hole, Herb
Episode 2 - 9-29-2008
22m
Charlie borrowed money from Alan and on the day he is supposed to pay him back, Alan goes to ask Charlie for the money. He again finds Charlie in bed with a beautiful woman. After Charlie shoos him out and assures him he'll get the money for him later that day, the woman asks if Charlie is really out of cash and Charlie tells her not to worry, that he has plenty of hooker money.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Taterhead Is Our Love Child
Episode 1 - 9-22-2008
22m
In the 6th season opener, Charlie runs into an ex-girlfriend and a child who bears a striking resemblance to Charlie.
7.9/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Season 5
Waiting for the Right Snapper
Episode 19 - 5-19-2008
22m
When Charlie meets Angie's soon to be daughter-in-law, he realizes it's not for the first time.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
If My Hole Could Talk
Episode 18 - 5-12-2008
22m
Charlie's attracted to an older self-help author. Alan and Jake clash over a project for school.
7.7/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Fish in a Drawer
Episode 17 - 5-05-2008
21m
CSIs investigate a death at Charlie's house.
8.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
Episode 16 - 4-28-2008
22m
Alan makes wedding plans for Evelyn and Teddy, while Charlie figures out how to get more acquainted with his future step-sister.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Rough Night in Hump Junction
Episode 15 - 4-21-2008
22m
Alan feels Charlie is unable to control his womanizing ways.
7.7/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Winky-Dink Time
Episode 14 - 4-14-2008
22m
Charlie double-dates with Jake and fixes Alan up with a hooker.
8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
The Soil Is Moist
Episode 13 - 3-31-2008
20m
Alan finds out some surprising information about Judith's sex life when he decides to go on a date with one of her friends.
8.1/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
Episode 12 - 3-24-2008
22m
Rose returns from England, and plays nurse rather oddly for an ill Charlie.
7.7/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Meander to Your Dander
Episode 11 - 3-17-2008
22m
When Alan finds himself wanting to break up with a woman, Charlie offers his expertise.
8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Kinda Like Necrophilia
Episode 10 - 11-26-2007
22m
Alan finds out that Charlie stole his girlfriend and works on a plan to get back at Charlie, even though this happened when they were in high school.
8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids
Episode 9 - 11-19-2007
21m
Charlie fights his attraction for Teddy's daughter.
7.9/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Episode 8 - 11-12-2007
20m
Charlie writes a children’s song and finds success as Charlie Waffles. The children love him and the mothers seem to as well. Charlie's new found fame irritates Alan.
8.5/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
Episode 7 - 11-05-2007
21m
After Alan and Charlie have a fight about Alan's role in the house. Alan packs Jake up and moves in with his mother.
7.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Help Daddy Find His Toenail
Episode 6 - 10-29-2007
22m
Charlie's girlfriend is embrassed to go out in public with him. Meanwhile, Jake sneaks out to attend a concert.
7.7/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
Episode 5 - 10-22-2007
22m
Charlie has to come up with ways to keep his girlfriend's 4-year-old amused; Alan becomes a test subject.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
City of Great Racks
Episode 4 - 10-15-2007
22m
Charlie and Linda get closer to consummating their relationship, but Charlie has trouble focusing when he begins to see Rose's face everywhere he turns.
7.9/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
Episode 3 - 10-08-2007
22m
Alan convinces Charlie that he needs to date more respectable women and sets him up with a judge. The two double date and their waitress happens to be one of Charlie’s ex-girlfriends. Charlie's date backfires the following morning, when he ends up in court in front of the judge.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Media Room Slash Dungeon
Episode 2 - 10-01-2007
22m
Charlie acts strange after spending an evening with his mother, and a woman Alan slept with behaves oddly the next morning.
7.9/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
Episode 1 - 9-24-2007
21m
Jake is getting ready to start a new school as he graduates to Junior High. Alan and Charlie take him school shopping and find themselves in trouble.
7.9/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Season 4
Prostitutes and Gelato
Episode 24 - 5-14-2007
21m
Evelyn's boyfriend, Teddy, invites Alan and Charlie to go with him to Las Vegas on his private jet. The boys confront their individual 'daddy issues'
8.2/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'
Episode 23 - 5-07-2007
22m
Charlie is shocked when the handyman working on his house beats him out for Chloe's affections. Alan has no sympathy for Charlie’s distress.
8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
Episode 22 - 4-30-2007
22m
Jake gets lucky after Charlie takes him to the racetrack. Meanwhile, Alan has a difficult time at the DMV.
7.7/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
Episode 21 - 4-23-2007
22m
Alan and Charlie re-examine their sexual identities after Alan befriends Greg, a gay man. Meanwhile, Jake has a crush on Greg's daughter.
7.8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
Episode 20 - 4-16-2007
22m
Alan looks forward to Judith's wedding, while Charlie and Myra continue their romance.
8.2/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Smooth as a Ken Doll
Episode 19 - 4-09-2007
21m
Charlie takes a liking to Myra, the witty sister of Judith's fiancé, Herb.
8.1/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
It Never Rains in Hooterville
Episode 18 - 3-19-2007
22m
Alan tries to bond with Jake when he realizes that his childhood is almost over. Kandi pursues a career in acting.
7.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
I Merely Slept With a Commie
Episode 17 - 2-26-2007
22m
After Evelyn tells Alan and Charlie how she feels about there being no mourners at her friend’s funeral, the boys share their feelings that this could also be the case at her funeral. Evelyn tries to prove them wrong by introducing them to a couple she help adopt a boy from China. The boys return fire by inviting the young man to a play date with Jake.
7.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Young People Have Phlegm Too
Episode 16 - 2-19-2007
22m
Charlie's young, hot girlfriend takes him to a new club. She invites Alan to meet one of her friends but the men are shocked to learn that they are considered as being "old".
7.7/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
My Damn Stalker
Episode 15 - 2-12-2007
22m
Rose is moving to London, and Charlie is surprised by his reaction to the news. Alan lies to a woman he met online.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
Episode 14 - 2-05-2007
22m
Charlie sets Alan up with their new neighbour. But he gets jealous when the two form a bond.
7.7/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Don't Worry, Speed Racer
Episode 13 - 1-22-2007
22m
Jake shares that he has heard his mother having sex with her fiancée, Herb; this revelation brings up a repressed memory for Charlie. This leads Charlie to seek help from Rose.
7.6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Castrating Sheep in Montana
Episode 12 - 1-08-2007
22m
Berta discovers that Alan has been dating her daughter Naomi.
7.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Walnuts and Demerol
Episode 11 - 12-11-2006
22m
Charlie's friends and family put a crimp in his plan for a romantic Christmas Eve date. When Evelyn sees who the date is, she goes to great lengths to force a wedge between them.
8.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Kissing Abraham Lincoln
Episode 10 - 11-27-2006
22m
Worrying Charlie may get rid of one of them, Berta and Lydia fight over him. Meanwhile, Kandi does everything she can to stop Alan from selling their condo.
7.7/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
Episode 9 - 11-20-2006
22m
Charlie gets tired of Alan's mooching and reaches the breaking point during the brothers' double date. Jake is left home alone for the first time.
7.7/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Release the Dogs
Episode 8 - 11-13-2006
22m
Alan suffers from insomnia. He visits his psychiatrist, who reveals that the cause of Alan's sleepless nights is his jealousy towards Charlie, and his inability to glide through life.
7.9/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
Episode 7 - 11-06-2006
22m
Berta's daughter, Naomi is pregnant and Berta drags Charlie with her when she confronts the baby’s father. Alan reveals a secret fetish.
7.8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Apologies for the Frivolity
Episode 6 - 10-23-2006
21m
Charlie is dating a woman whose personality and life are like his mother’s.
8.3/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
Episode 5 - 10-16-2006
22m
Alan is overjoyed by the prospect of Judith remarrying, as he would no longer have to pay alimony. Alan gets Charlie to help him when it looks like the marriage maybe derailed due to Jake’s dislike of his mother’s fiancé.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
A Pot Smoking Monkey
Episode 4 - 10-09-2006
30m
Alan tries to hire his ex-wife's lawyer to help him win custody over the dog he and Kandi shared.
7.5/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
Episode 3 - 10-02-2006
22m
Charlie tries to surf to impress Dottie, a beautiful woman he just met, but after he nearly drowns he is convinced that he saw his late father.
7.5/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Who's Vod Kanockers?
Episode 2 - 9-25-2006
22m
Charlie finally tells Alan that he didn't marry Mia because she wanted Alan and Jake to move out of the house, but Alan finds a hole in his logic. Charlie and Alan deal with a noisy neighbor who constantly sings all the time, who happens to be Steven Tyler.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Working for Caligula
Episode 1 - 9-18-2006
22m
Charlie returns to his bachelor lifestyle after Alan moves out of the house. Alan suffers a breakdown after his divorce from Kandi.
7.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Season 3
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Episode 24 - 5-22-2006
22m
Charlie and Mia start making their wedding arrangements. Things begin to fall apart when their two families meet each other. They eventually decide on a small ceremony in Las Vegas.
8.1/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Arguments for the Quickie
Episode 23 - 5-15-2006
22m
Mia comes back to town with her dance troupe and invites Charlie to her performance. At first, he decides not to go and tries to convince Alan that he no longer has feelings for her. He goes to the see the performance and Mia explains that she wants some of Charlie’s sperm. Charlie responds by asking Mia for something.
7.7/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Just Once With Aunt Sophie
Episode 22 - 5-08-2006
22m
A girl from Jake’s school invites him to his first boy-girl party. Charlie and Alan help him get ready for it by giving him advice. Alan and Charlie get nostalgic and remember their first boy-girl party.
7.9/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
And the Plot Moistens
Episode 21 - 5-01-2006
22m
Jake’s teacher has a meeting with Alan and Judith to discuss the lack of interest Jake has at school. Alan starts to fall for Francine, in a platonic way, because he is tired of the lack of intelligent communication he has with Kandi. Charlie helps Jake audition for his school musical.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Episode 20 - 4-24-2006
22m
Alan tries to win Kandi back. Meanwhile, Charlie starts to sleep with her mom, Mandi, and Judith gets set up with her father, Andy.
8.3/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
Episode 19 - 4-10-2006
22m
Charlie is surprised to find out that Kandi has been living with them for the last three weeks. Alan is having a tough time helping Kandi earn a living. Charlie has lost his sense because of the dry-spell he is going through.
7.9/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Episode 18 - 3-20-2006
22m
Alan starts to have financial problems when he starts paying for his girlfriend's bills, so Charlie tries to get him to break up with her. Meanwhile, Judith is after Alan because he is late in paying his alimony check.
7.7/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
Episode 17 - 3-13-2006
22m
Charlie is nominated for an advertising award, but he decides to boycott it because his arch nemesis always wins. The rest of his family tries to trick him into going. Rose is having relationship problems with Gordon and seeks help from Charlie.
7.5/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Ergo, the Booty Call
Episode 16 - 3-06-2006
22m
Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie.
8.4/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
My Tongue is Meat
Episode 15 - 2-27-2006
22m
Charlie has trouble keeping up with Mia's healthy lifestyle, so he begins to sneak beers, cigars, and burgers behind her back. When Mia finds out what he was doing, Charlie has to decide if he is truly in love with her or just whipped.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
Episode 14 - 2-06-2006
22m
Charlie arranges a romantic date with Mia in the hopes of consummating their relationship. Alan begins to date Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.
8.2/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
Episode 13 - 1-23-2006
22m
Charlie finds himself in a relationship that is not based on sex.
7.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
That Special Tug
Episode 12 - 1-09-2006
22m
Charlie sees a therapist to learn how to deal with Alan's emotional insecurities.
8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Santa's Village of the Damned
Episode 11 - 12-19-2005
22m
Alan starts dating a woman with a Martha Stewart complex. Before long she's running the house with an obsession for perfection.
8.3/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Something Salted and Twisted
Episode 10 - 11-28-2005
22m
Charlie helps Alan with his obsession of always having to get approval from the women in his life.
7.5/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Madame and Her Special Friend
Episode 9 - 11-21-2005
22m
One of Charlie's elderly neighbors tries to seduce Alan, while Charlie tries to stop Jake from giving money to a televangelist.
8/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
That Voodoo That I Do Do
Episode 8 - 11-14-2005
22m
Charlie tricks Jake into taking ballet lessons, so he can get close to the teacher.
8.3/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Episode 7 - 11-07-2005
22m
Charlie wakes up with Rose the morning after her birthday party. Her irate father comes to ask Charlie about what the future holds for him and Rose, but the unexpected happens when Evelyn shows up.
7.9/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Hi, Mr. Horned One
Episode 6 - 10-24-2005
22m
Ignoring Alan's warnings, Charlie continues to date Isabella until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.
8.4/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
We Called It Mr. Pinky
Episode 5 - 10-17-2005
22m
Charlie learns he can't be in a long-lasting relationship, becuase of unresolved issues he has with his mother. Jake asks Charlie for advice about a girl at school.
7.7/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
Episode 4 - 10-10-2005
22m
Berta causes tension between Charlie and Alan, when she temporarily moves in with them
7.7/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
Episode 3 - 10-03-2005
22m
Alan has been dating a lot, and Charlie soon finds out that it has been one woman - his ex-wife, Judith. He tries to stop Alan, and even brings Rose, Evelyn and Berta to interfere - but Alan ignores them all.
7.7/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Episode 2 - 9-26-2005
22m
Jake gets suspended from school after drawing an offensive picture of a girl in his class that has large breasts. Meanwhile, Charlie is asked to watch over Alan's chiropractic office after pulling an all-nighter.
8.1/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
Episode 1 - 9-19-2005
22m
After falling off the roof, Alan needs Charlie's help in looking after Jake, which interferes with Charlie's social life.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Season 2
Does This Smell Funny to You?
Episode 24 - 5-22-2005
21m
Charlie unknowingly sleeps with an older man's trophy wife while Jake has to read a paper to his class.
8.3/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
Episode 23 - 5-15-2005
21m
Evelyn demands Jake spend a night at her place when she finds out he spent Spring Break with Judith's parents. Neither Alan nor Charlie are keen on the idea, but going to a bar after dropping off Jake quickly erases their concerns.
8.7/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
Episode 22 - 5-08-2005
22m
Evelyn buys Alan a new Sports car causing Charlie to claim that his brother has sold his soul to the Devil. The next day, Evelyn extracts payment by insisting that Alan go on a blind, double date with her, her new beau and his daughter. At the restaurant, Alan learns that his mother and boyfriend will not be able to join them because there was a mixup between his heart medication and Viagra and she didn't want to ""waste it"". As a result, Alan is left to deal with the daughter, who is on a weekend pass from a rehab center and still has some loose screws. Alan eventually gets her back to the beach house only to have her drive off in his new sports car and become the object of a televised high-speed car chase.
7.6/10Where to watch
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A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
Episode 21 - 4-30-2005
21m
Evelyn reads in the obituaries that her second husband, Harry has died. They all attend the funeral, including Jake who is excited at the opportunity of seeing a ""dead guy"". Charlie is excited by the opportunity of a newly single widow, and Alan is just happy to pay his respects to Harry.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
Episode 20 - 4-17-2005
22m
Rose tries to help the brothers sort out their feelings, when Charlie and Alan take their personal frustrations out on each other.
7.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
Episode 19 - 3-20-2005
22m
After Charlie takes Alan to an eye doctor, they end up at cafe where they bump into Charlie's ex-girlfriend, Sherri. While there Alan shows an interest in Sherri, and decides to ask her out. The problem is that Alan can't get over Sherri's relationship with Charlie.
7.8/10Where to watch
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It Was Mame, Mom
Episode 18 - 3-06-2005
22m
Charlie is invited to a party hosted by a gay ad-executive named Eric, so Charlie asks Alan to pretend that he's his life partner. While at the party, Charlie meets Eric's ex-wife Pamela, and tries to sleep with her without Eric finding out.
8.1/10Where to watch
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Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!
Episode 17 - 2-20-2005
22m
After Charlie has back pain, Alan decides to take him to the Hospital. While there Charlie can't stop hitting on the doctor who is examining him. The only problem is that he has a history with her that he can't remember. Berta is feed up with Jake's inability to use the bathroom properly, so she decides to make him clean it until he learns.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?
Episode 16 - 2-13-2005
22m
When Judith decides to take a vacation, the brothers have to take care of Jake during the week. Alan finds it challenging, and even forgets to pick up Jake from soccer practice. When Alan finds out that he has to go to the I.R.S. because they're auditing him, he forces Charlie to take care of Jake, and Charlie doesn't do any better then Alan.
8.2/10Where to watch
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Smell the Umbrella Stand
Episode 15 - 2-06-2005
22m
Alan starts to worry about a medical procedure that he is facing, and to get his mind off it, Charlie suggests they go to Las Vegas.
7.9/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
Episode 14 - 1-30-2005
22m
The brothers throw out their mother, after she insults the way Alan is raising Jake. When Alan and Charlie ignore her phone calls, to get their attention she ends up in the hospital. When Alan and Charlie show up at the hospital they aren't sure if she's faking, and try to call her bluff.
7.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)
Episode 13 - 1-15-2005
21m
After an earthquake hits, Judith's house is damaged and she needs a place to stay. So Alan decides to invite her to stay with him and Charlie, without getting Charlie's permission. Charlie isn't happy with this, but accepts it. Alan becomes jealous when Judith goes on a date, and asks Charlie to find him a date, so that he can show Judith that he dates as well.
8.2/10Where to watch
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A Lungful of Alan
Episode 12 - 1-02-2005
22m
Alan is jealous of Charlie when an old classmate, who's now a beautiful woman, seems to be more interested in Charlie.
8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Episode 11 - 12-12-2004
22m
After getting unusually turned down at a bar, Charlie learns that a website has been made dedicated to exposing his lifestyle. Charlie sets out to find who created the site, making amends to all those he stood up, but it's harder than it looks when all the women take the apology better than expected.
8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
The Salmon Under My Sweater
Episode 10 - 11-28-2004
21m
Charlie tries to get Jake's approval on a theme song that he is hired to write for a television show, which is based on a comic book that Jake is a fan. While Alan finds out more about Rose (including how smart she is), when he spends more time with her.
8/10Where to watch
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Yes, Monsignor
Episode 9 - 11-21-2004
22m
When Charlie leaves the house to avoid a date that he can't stand, he ends up at a coffee shop, where he meets his old girlfriend Lisa. He finds out that she broke up with her husband, and now has a child. Now he must try to convince Lisa that he's okay with her having a child. While Jake tries to justify to his father why he isn't doing so well in school.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Episode 8 - 11-14-2004
22m
Alan meets a woman named Nancy at a grocery store, who fulfills every single one of his desires, forcing Charlie to take care of Jake. After knowing Nancy for a few days Alan decides to ask her to marry him, prompting Charlie to try and talk him out of it, and he even gets help from the brothers' mother.
8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Episode 7 - 11-07-2004
22m
Charlie and Alan hire Berta's sister to cater a party their mother has conned them into throwing for her.
7.3/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
Episode 6 - 10-24-2004
22m
Alan denies having shoplifted a toy as a child and fears he has a dark side, until Charlie admits he planted the toy on Alan to stay out of trouble himself.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Bad News from the Clinic?
Episode 5 - 10-17-2004
22m
Charlie meets his match when he falls for a woman who's better at playing hard to get than he is.
7.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Go Get Mommy's Bra
Episode 4 - 10-10-2004
22m
Jake is very impressed and can't stop talking about his mother's new boyfriend, Dr. Melnick, which annoys Alan. While Evelyn borrows Charlie's car to help her impress a Saudi prince, because she wants to sell him real estate. When Charlie gets his car back, he discovers his mother's bra in the backseat. When he finds out why it's there he decides to trade in his car.
7.9/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
A Bag Full of Jawea
Episode 3 - 10-02-2004
20m
Charlie tries to save Jake from school suspension for giving his teacher (Missi Pyle) the finger by romancing her, but his several attempts fail every time.
8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
Episode 2 - 9-26-2004
22m
Judith is dating Jake's pediatrician, and Alan is upset until Charlie points out that if she remarries, his alimony payments will end.
7.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Back Off, Mary Poppins
Episode 1 - 9-19-2004
21m
Alan learns that Charlie belongs to an exclusive men's group, and he begs his brother to let him join.
7.9/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Season 1
Can You Feel My Finger?
Episode 24 - 5-23-2004
22m
Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.
8.1/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Just Like Buffalo
Episode 23 - 5-16-2004
21m
When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his dad and Charlie.
8.4/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
Episode 22 - 5-09-2004
21m
When Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up with a cure.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
No Sniffing, No Wowing
Episode 21 - 5-02-2004
22m
Charlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say, dumped by a self-centered lothario.
8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
Episode 20 - 4-18-2004
21m
Jake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist.
7.5/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Episode 19 - 3-21-2004
19m
Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party of her own.
8.1/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
An Old Flame With a New Wick
Episode 18 - 2-29-2004
21m
Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.
8.4/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
Episode 17 - 2-22-2004
20m
Charlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in his care and has to be rushed to the hospital.
7.9/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
That Was Saliva, Alan
Episode 16 - 2-15-2004
22m
Charlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
Episode 15 - 2-08-2004
22m
Charlie invites a mysterious, slightly crazed woman to stay at the house until she can settle some family problems.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
I Can't Afford Hyenas
Episode 14 - 2-01-2004
21m
Charlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must go on a budget.
7.7/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Sarah Like Puny Alan
Episode 13 - 1-10-2004
21m
Charlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been wanting to date for a long time.
7.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Camel Filters and Pheromones
Episode 12 - 1-04-2004
21m
Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.
8.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
Episode 11 - 12-14-2003
20m
When Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him transform his image.
7.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Merry Thanksgiving
Episode 10 - 11-23-2003
21m
Realizing he's losing someone special, Charlie plans a Thanksgiving dinner to convince her he's a family guy and that she should be with him.
8/10Where to watch
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Phase One, Complete
Episode 9 - 11-15-2003
21m
Charlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends Jake and Evelyn.
7.5/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful
Episode 8 - 11-09-2003
19m
Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
Episode 7 - 11-02-2003
22m
Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the surfer become friends.
8.3/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
Episode 6 - 10-26-2003
21m
The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid.
7.5/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump
Episode 5 - 10-19-2003
19m
Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.
7.8/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
Episode 4 - 10-12-2003
22m
Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for dating advice.
7.9/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
Episode 3 - 10-05-2003
22m
Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father.
7.7/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Big Flappy Bastards
Episode 2 - 9-29-2003
22m
Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking advantage of Alan, who keeps going to her house to fix things.
7.7/10Where to watch
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Pilot
Episode 1 - 9-22-2003
23m
Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.
8.1/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Top 5 Highest Rated Episodes 8.7/10
8.7/10 8.6/10 8.6/10 8.6/10
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
Episode 23 - 5-15-2005
21m
Evelyn demands Jake spend a night at her place when she finds out he spent Spring Break with Judith's parents. Neither Alan nor Charlie are keen on the idea, but going to a bar after dropping off Jake quickly erases their concerns.
8.7/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
The Two Finger Rule
Episode 19 - 3-30-2009
21m
After Chelsea discovers a nude picture of another woman on Charlie's cell phone, he blows off steam by going out for a night of drinking with Alan, Herb and his neighbor.
8.7/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Camel Filters and Pheromones
Episode 12 - 1-04-2004
21m
Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.
8.6/10Where to watch
Buy
Haven't Seen
Walnuts and Demerol
Episode 11 - 12-11-2006
22m
Charlie's friends and family put a crimp in his plan for a romantic Christmas Eve date. When Evelyn sees who the date is, she goes to great lengths to force a wedge between them.
8.6/10Where to watch
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Haven't Seen
Fish in a Drawer
Episode 17 - 5-05-2008
21m
CSIs investigate a death at Charlie's house.
8.6/10Where to watch
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