Unhappily Ever After

When Tiffany finds an old western book while planting some flowers, she thinks of what it would be like to live in those times.

After making an unassisted triple play in baseball, Ryan starts starring in many commercials and making some money and fame along the way.

Ryan's career aptitude test reveals that he should be a teacher, so he becomes the student teacher in Ross's class. Ryan accidentally kills Ross's teacher, Mr. Moss, by stabbing him with scissors so he takes over the class. Ross's girlfriend, a twelve-year-old named Kitty, has a crush on Ryan so Ryan has Tiffany pretend to be his girlfriend.

After writing a report on Ryan cheating on a test, Tiffany decides to go under cover as a cheerleader in order to expose them for her paper.

Tiffany decides to present Mr.Peebody as Teacher of the Year, with dinner at her house, and later finds out that he is an escaped murderer.

Ryan meets a cute girl named Bitsy Berg. She actually takes a liking to Ryan. The only thing is she is way too perky and can't stop talking in a fast,ditzy tone of voice. Ryan invites her over for dinner. The family can't believe she's so talkative. Ryan gives Bitzy a big smile,while the rest of the family are about ready to kill her. Ryan thinks that ""she could be the one."" But we find out that Ryan was just one of a long list of men she had to sleep with as part of a sorority initiation.

Tiffany is arrested when Ryan uses her name and picture for his cyber sex internet scam.

To join a sorority, Tiffany and Amber have to be slaves to Ryan. Ryan doesn't notice that his sorority is gay. Seeing Ryan and Tiffany enjoying college, Jack puts down that he is a college graduate on his resume and he becomes a doctor and an accountant.

When Jennie's ghost continues to pester the family, they call Father Guido Sarducci to perform and excorcism.

For a project, the class must find what the opposite sex wants. For her project, Tiffany pretends to be stupid around a guy. Ryan begis acting like a girl for his.

Jack goes to a loan shark for the $18,000 for Tiffany to go to Harvard. But Tiffany turns down the Harvard scholarship and decides to go to Northridge Junior College with Ryan when she meets Professor Alfred, a professor there. She soon finds Professor Alfred is going to teach at Harvard and Mr. Monteleone is taking his spot.

Tiffany must work at an ice cream parlor.

Tiffany gets a B- on her essay because she doesn't agree with Mr. Monteleone's, her teacher's, opinion. Ryan repeats everything Mr. Monteleone tells him for his reports and does great. Meanwhile, Jack and Mr. Floppy decide to make a movie with naked women.

Jack can't stand it when Tiffany begins dating Johnny Stompanado, a biker. Jennie remembers her biker boyfriend.

Jack and Jennie think Ryan is on drugs when they finds globs and globs of his sweat in the car.

When Sable starts playing a sport for her scholarship, Tiffany joins the volleyball team.

The Mad Hair Hacker goes after Tiffany, Sable, and Amber, a friend of Tiffany's, to chop their long hair. Meanwhile, Jack and Jennie look forward to terrorizing the neighborhood kids and giving them candy cigarettes on Halloween.

After getting zapped by lightning, Ryan is convinced that he is a super hero named Lightning Boy.

When Tiffany starts taking fake prom pictures with nerds and leaving sexy messages on their answering machines for the money, it blows her Princeton scholarship.

At the start of the school year, Sable, a girl who is as smart and beautiful as Tiffany, comes to Priddy High and Tiffany and her become rivals after exhcanging secrets.

It's summer break Ryan has just finished his senior year. After Ryan gets fired from the used car lot, Jack threatens to kick him out of the house if he doesn't get a job. So Ryan goes to Cheeseburger Community College, but finds he must repeat his senior year. Jack tries to keep the family out of the basement and works the night shift so he doesn't have to deal with the kids.

Jack starts writing stories that are really Floppy's and gets a big break, but later tries doing his own writing.

Jack uses his height to beat Ryan at basketball for the 2001st time.

When the family becomes obsessed with horoscopes, Ryan looks for a girl and Jennie tries to be nice.

After seeing a movie, Jennie takes the family to a picnic to bond. But the picnic trip is soon ruined by gophers, poison ivy, and pesticide.

When Ryan starts taking urine tests for football players, he gets a lettered jersey and the respect of a football player. Meanwhile, no one notices Tiffany, because of Ryan being on the football team, when she gets the highest SAT scores in the school and becomes a national merrit scholar.

When Ryan gets all D's and F's on his report card, Jennie says he can't have the car keys until he gets a B, so he makes a deal with Miss Taylor, his Civics teacher. Meanwhile, Jack tries to figure out why Ryan is so dumba nd Tiffany begins to suspect that the mailman is her father.

Jennie gets a glass table on Ross's ninth birthday and throws everyone out of the house for getting the table dirty.

When Jennie gets a date with Ray Paul Jones, her teen crush, she gives Jack the right to fantasize about a celebrity. Jack picks Cindy Crawford and gets arrested for stalking her.

Jack leaves Jennie's room for the basement because she won't let him have his ways, but he finds a giant rat in the basement and makes the kids get rid of it.

Jack moves back in to the house for the sake of the kids, but must live in the basement until he can win Jennie back.

Jennifer is chaperoning Tiffany's spring dance. Tiffany is in charge of planning the dance, and has invested the funds into war-oriented stocks. Unfortunately, peace breaks out and her investments go bad. Jack has to return his new J. Bean wardrobe (that Mr. Floppy says makes him look like a gay-boy) in order to help fund the dance. Jennifer makes Jack help her with and take her to the dance. Ryan ends up with 10 dates because the girlfriends of the football team want to get even with the team for getting a stripper the week before. The theme of the dance is ""The O.J. Trial Under the Stars,"" and Barry wins Queen of the Prom.

Jennifer goes out with Gavin Drake, ""Picture Framer of the Stars,"" and falls for him because it's the best date she has had so far. Tiffany and Ryan learn that he is a married man at school lunch because he is the father of Chelsea, one of their friends. They tell Jack, and he gets excited because he'll get to crush Jennie by telling her, and it'll be the best thing that has happened to him all year. Mr. Floppy wants him to wait telling her so that he can get gossip about Shannon Doherty out of Gavin. Jack doesn't get to tell her because Gavin asks her to be his mistress. Jeannie seriously considers it, but breaks up with him because it would be too much for her conscience.

Jennifer wants to get into the Betty Ford Clinic so that she can meet a rich drunk, and tells Jack he'll have to take the kids when she is away for the week. He'll have to pay for her visit or he'll have the kids forever. Jack takes the kids for the night and Ross cuts off Mr. Floppy's foot so that he can have a good luck charm to break his string of bad luck. Ryan steals the foot from Ross, and uses it get a date with Cindy Stalling (whom he dreams of every night). Moments later Tiffany steals it from him, and he promptly loses Cindy, but Tiffany finds a diamond ring in her sandwich. Jennifer gets tips from Maureen on how to fit in at the Clinic. Jennifer takes the foot from the kids and won't give it to Jack because it got her into Betty Ford. Jack unsuccessfully tries to offer Mr. Floppy a new foot from a different stuffed animal, then breaks into Jennifer's house and gets noticed by everyone. Never the less, he steals the foot from Jennifer, and she promptly gets bumped from the Cl

Jennie, Ross, and Ryan are sick in bed with colds, and Tiffany has two days until the Alphi Pi Psi party at the local university, where she plans to mingle with the geeks since ""today's big dufus is tomorrow's Bill Gates."" Jennifer calls Jack over so that he can pick up food and tampons, and get the car from the mechanic. Mr. Floppy makes Jack to take him along so that he won't be bored in the apartment, and then convinces Jack to escape to Mexico. Jack turns back home after a ""conscious attack,"" gets yelled at for buying the wrong flavor lollipops, and is stopped from running to Mexico again because he ran out of gas in the driveway. Jack and Jennifer have sex in the front seat of the car at the end.

In order to become more successful at attracting a new man, Jennifer wants Jack to buy her new breasts. When he refuses, she tries to sell her engagement ring and finds out it is glass and 14 karat goldette, and becomes upset. Jack, against the wishes of Mr. Floppy, decides to sell his autographed baseball in order to buy her a new ring. Jennifer tells him that the ball was really autographed by her mother. Jack and Jennifer have sex at the end of the episode.

After failing to get one of the three VCRs (even the one that requires you to continuously press the ""play"" button) from Jennifer in the divorce, Jack sells his car to an old lady and buys himself a new one. Mr. Floppy gets excited because they can watch porno (Natural Born Hooters). Jennifer gets upset because it's their first marriage anniversary after the break up, and Jack forgets what day it is. Jennifer invites Jack over for dinner and cons him into feeling that they ought to exchange gifts, and he gives her the new VCR, while she gives him the crappy one. Mr. Floppy gets mad at Jack for giving away the new VCR, and Jack makes the mop and pizza box talk to demonstrate that he doesn't need Mr. Floppy.