Jordyep

4/10

Actually pretty decent for Michael Bay’s own standards. You still get the usual cringe, out of touch jokes, pornographic directing and cocaine-fueled editing choices, but it’s also way less obnoxious than some of his previous efforts (_Transformers 5, 6 Underground_) and surprisingly light on the trademark fireworks. It’s trying really hard to be a dumb 90’s action movie, and while I admire the attempt, 90’s action movies typically aren’t as much of an instantly forgettable blur that this is. Like, some of the drone shots in this are really cool and could be very memorable in theory, but why aren’t we lingering on these shots for longer than 2 seconds? Also, I found the meta references in this pretty annoying, it felt like Michael Bay jerking off to himself. He doesn’t just reference himself though, as for example the first action scene is clearly trying to rip-off the big scene in _Heat_, which you just shouldn’t do, unless you’re Christopher Nolan. The characters are all pretty flat, acting isn’t great, Jake’s carrying hard and clearly having a blast. I wasn’t really bored by it, but I don’t really see how you can be entertained by it either. It’s a lot of visual and sonic noise that in the end is much ado about nothing. It just sort of exists, it needed to be a lot zanier and use its own dumbness to its advantage. If you’d retool this to fit with the Fast and Furious brand, and bring in that crew, this would probably be a lot more entertaining. 4/10

CinemaSerf

0/10

So here's the gist. "Will" (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) needs $231,000 urgently, so he taps up his brother "Danny" (Jake Gyllenhaal) who, as luck would have it, is on that very day about to hit a bank for $32m. All he has to do is drive and his worries are a thing of the past. They manage to relieve the bank of the cash ok, but horny young police officer "Zach" (Jackson White) becomes a fly in their ointment when he decides to ask one of the cashiers out on a date, and gets caught up in the now much more precarious raid. He gets shot, and as the ambulance is leaving to take him to hospital the two robbers jump on board as their ticket out of the now police-strewn crime scene. Luckily, onboard the ambulance, is feisty no-nonsense paramedic "Cam" (Eiza González) who now has to keep the critically ill officer alive whilst her two passengers try to evade the might of the LAPD with their loot. What now ensues is just ridiculous. This sixteen tonne truck manages to evade snipers, souped-up police cars, helicopters all whilst having a critically injured man in the back. It seems to have no issues running out of gas; and must have an axle and suspension system that wouldn't be out of place on a Boeing 747. Gung-go police captain "Monroe" (Garret Dillahunt) demonstrates adequately that the more resources you have, the cockier you become - and the less successful; and the introduction of FBI man "Anson" (Keir O'Donnell) a college pal of "Danny" who has to rush from a marriage guidance session with his husband to try and apprehend the fugitives just tops off this rather preposterous narrative. The production is very good; the use of drones and high speed photography does create an effective image as the ambulance continues to evade pursuit, but the dialogue is dreadful. Lots of repetitive expressions with hardly a smile to be had as the plot descends willingly into the absurd. Luckily, we get to come up for air for a moment or so thanks to Christoper Cross' "Sailing" but otherwise this is a relentless chase movie with it's root firmly placed in fantasy. The ending takes 2¼ to come, and when it does it is as inevitable as it is poor. I'm sorry, but this is nobody's finest work and being the only person at the screening I couldn't help but wonder if others knew better than me - and stayed at home!

[robbie grawey]

0/10

I laughed, I cried, and now I think I need a nap. My second Bay movie. Jake Gyllenhaal, nitro dog, fantastic cinematography, great emotional core, etc. Excellent stuff.

Per Gunnar Jonsson

0/10

This is a Michael Bay movie. I could probably stop the review here because that says all about the movie. Lots of special effects and a mediocre story at best. This Michael Bay movie is no different. The two stars I gave it is solely for the action and the special effects. The script is not even mediocre. It is rubbish. I think what grated on me the most is that there are two characters in the whole movie that are somewhat likable. The rest are either assholes or idiots. Mostly both. The actions of almost everyone are just annoyingly stupid and illogical. The constant bickering and shouting is frustrating. This “criminal mastermind”, Danny Sharp, is alternating between being a psychopath and just an idiot. His idiot comment towards the end that they were not the bad guys, they were just trying to get home was so braindead it was unbelievable. The police force is not really any better. The entire chase part is just so ridiculous most of the time and the constant shouting and arguing drags it down further. The idea of doing an operation, over the phone, during a high speed chase while taking 90 degree turns every two minutes or so is laughable. Then they had all this silly work up to where the baddies were going to assault the cops with their customized vehicles and the one time I expected Michael Bay to shine and even go a bit over the top it ended up being rather meh and mediocre. Normally I do not really care that much if the script is not top notch in these kind of movies as long as it is good enough to drive the action but this script was too ludicrous and devoid of intelligence even for me.

MSB

0/10

MORE SPOILER-FREE REVIEWS @ https://www.msbreviews.com/ "Ambulance is one of the most frenetic, literally non-stop action flicks of Michael Bay's entire career - which might be shocking to state. The cast is exceptional - curiously, it's Eiza González who stands out the most - and their interactions are far more hilarious than I anticipated. Choppy editing and inconsistently shaky camera work can be extremely frustrating, especially outside of the action sequences, but on the other hand, these elements also contribute to the unstoppable energy of an authentic blockbuster. Is it absurdly ridiculous? Undoubtedly. As silly as can be expected. But entertaining nonetheless." Rating: B-