He Knows You're Alone

A trash slasher from the genre's glory days with neither a recognizable purpose nor a firm grasp of what makes a good screamer tick. With something like 75% of its duration dedicated to pointless errands, unnecessary supporting characters and a drab, one-way relationship drama, this is quite easily the least suspenseful thriller I've ever been unlucky enough to sit through. Even the kills are yawners, perpetrated by a hopelessly wacky, unexplained knifeman without a motive or even a loose pattern. He'll creep out from behind a curtain for a big scare, then stand around in confusion as his prey rushes past to a waiting doorway. At one point he desperately tries to nail down a quarry by furiously stabbing the windshield of their car. It's a total mess; useless even as fodder for a good riffing or unintentional comedy. A very young Tom Hanks stumbles in for a throwaway role late in the action, but moments later he stumbles right back out, never to be seen again. Complete waste of time.